


In Which Sunny Is Bad At Naming Things

by Prince_Enby



Category: OMORI (Video Game)
Genre: Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Post good ending, the angst isnt heavy but like. it IS omori
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:00:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28865187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prince_Enby/pseuds/Prince_Enby
Summary: Basil: Hey um,,, are we ever gonna,,, actually talk??? About things???Sunny: not rn. laterSunny sent an image.Basil: UnderstandableBasil sent an image.Sunny sent an image.---A post-good ending chatfic.
Relationships: Hero/Mari (OMORI)
Comments: 401
Kudos: 1267
Collections: Quality Fics





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> omori has made me cry 4 times in the 1 week since i finished it so. i am applying a bandaid in the form of Funnies

Sunny >>> Basil  
12:24 PM  
Sunny: hi.  
Sunny sent an image.

Kel >>> Aubrey  
2:36 PM  
Kel: aubrey  
Kel: aubreyyyyyy  
Kel: dont ignore meeeee  
Kel: :(((((((  
Kel: OKAY COME ON NOW I SAW THAT  
Kel: I KNOW UR ONLINE  
Kel: plssssssss insult me if u gotta just say somethinggggg  
Aubrey: Dumbass idiot really thought u could win a 7v2 fight with a basketball  
Kel: if no one got me i know ur desire to make fun of me got me  
Aubrey: What do you want  
Kel: would u be more or less likely to listen to me if i said i missed u and was lonely  
Aubrey: Less  
Kel: well 2 bad bc its true  
Kel: i miss u :( and im lonely :(  
Kel: i wanna hang out!!!  
Aubrey: Ugh. Fine.  
Aubrey: I guess I could go for a pizza at Gino's or smth.  
Kel: wait no u gotta come over to my house. i cant leave  
Aubrey: ...why  
Kel: hero  
Aubrey: That explains literally nothing idiot  
Kel: last time i left the house when i came back he looked at me and was like "what, went to see BASIL?" all angry  
Kel: idrk what im sposed to say to that so id rather not chance it :/  
Aubrey: Oh.  
Aubrey: He's still...?  
Kel: YES  
Kel: i dont wanna hold it against him or anything bc i get it i rly do  
Kel: but i s2g aubrey if i have to go ONE MORE DAY left alone with him like this im gonna lose my mind  
Aubrey: So what, u want to subject me to it too??  
Kel: miserys better in company n all that jazz  
Aubrey: Ugh.  
Aubrey: Fine.  
Aubrey: I'm bored anyways.  
Kel: thank u aubrey i owe u my life  
Aubrey: I'll take ur player one controller instead, actually  
Kel: FUCK  
Aubrey: >:)  
Kel: :'(

7:58 PM  
Aubrey: Holy shit you weren't kidding.  
Kel: i told you!!!!  
Aubrey: I almost pity you. That was. tense.  
Aubrey: "Oh. Aubrey. You've decided to visit. I see." Bitch what does that fucking tone mean!!!!  
Kel: i have to deal with this every single day aubrey!!!!! i share a room with this man!!!!  
Kel: literally the other day i was hungey and made some mac n cheese and he walked in the kitchen and said "What do you think your doing?" and i was like "uhhh making macaroni?" and he said "Cant you just eat a snack? All your doing is making a mess in the kitchen. Clean up when your done at least" and then left  
Kel: save me aubrey  
Aubrey: Dude, he said that?  
Aubrey: Yanno, I don't think I've ever seen Hero this mad before...  
Aubrey: It's kinda. Yikes.  
Kel: lol i have  
Kel: thats just the power of the little brother i guess  
Aubrey: Okay but even when you were your little shittiest he never??? Got angry like this???  
Kel: thats bc those were like, one time things and he was always given a chance to calm down  
Kel: he hasnt rly had the chance to let all his anger out yet tho so hes just kinda. stewing  
Aubrey: I'm probably not saying anything you don't already know but...that doesn't sound good?  
Kel: eh  
Kel: i prefer angry hero to depressed hero.  
Kel: if he snaps at me he snaps at me. at least angry hero eats every day  
Aubrey: Dude  
Kel: ?  
Aubrey: If you haven't done anything wrong then he shouldn't yell at you...  
Kel: wut r u talking about lol i was joking  
Aubrey: Look dumbass I know I'm a dick to you a lot but I'm serious. I don't give a fuck how angry he is at Sunny and Basil, bc your not Sunny OR Basil, and he shouldn't take it out on you.  
Kel: um  
Kel: uh  
Kel: ok lol  
Aubrey: Kel. I'm serious.  
Kel: aubrey dude its okay. like its not a big deal  
Aubrey: You sure?  
Kel: yeah lol its fine  
Aubrey: Hm.  
Kel: haha n e way wouldja look at the time!!! wowzers sure is late i better go to bed soon!!! talktoyoutomorrowbye!!!  
Aubrey: Idiot its only 8  
Aubrey: Kel  
Aubrey: Kel I know for a FACT you've never gone to sleep this early in your life  
Aubrey: Ugh whatever asshole. gn

Basil >>> Sunny  
1:33 PM  
Basil: Oh!!! Sunny!!!!  
Basil: Hi!!!!  
Basil: Um.... Whats that?????  
Sunny: reminded me of you  
Basil: Um. I see???  
Sunny sent an image.  
Basil: Uh. Okay...  
Basil: OH!!! I have one!!!  
Basil sent an image.  
Basil: This is you!!!  
Sunny: lol

Aubrey >>> Kel  
3:18 PM  
Aubrey: Kel what the FUCK is this.  
Kel: huh  
Kel: ???  
Aubrey sent an image.  
Aubrey: What the FUCK is in your driveway.  
Kel: OH  
Kel: aljfaldgj sally drew that  
Aubrey: No she fucking didnt shes like three months old  
Kel: no??? shes like a year and a half now  
Kel: shes crawling around n shit shes more than capable of holding chalk  
Aubrey: WHAT  
Kel: aubrey omg youve SEEN her did u rly think she was a newborn  
Aubrey: Shut your fucking the up  
Kel: hdaljglkajdligjiahidh  
Kel: hey wait a minute  
Kel: why are you in my driveway??? tf  
Aubrey: Bc I wasn't lying yesterday when I said I wanted some Gino's.  
Aubrey: So we're getting Gino's.  
Kel: dude i already told u abt heros weird passive aggressiveness  
Aubrey: Oh my god you dumbass why do you think I walked all the way over here then? I'll literally just tell him myself that we're going to Gino's.  
Kel: hell just ask if were meeting basil there  
Aubrey: Fuck it, I'll just invite Hero to come with us then  
Kel: w  
Aubrey: You got a problem with that  
Kel: yea what if we see basil on the way there!!!!  
Aubrey: Idk you can distract him or smth. You're good at that.  
Kel: i guess....  
Kel: ughhhhhh and i guess itd be good to get him out of the house too.....  
Kel: ur right lets take him  
Aubrey: I'm always right. Now let me in  
Kel: fine fine wtvr

Sunny >>> Basil  
4:13 PM  
Sunny sent an image.  
Basil sent an image.  
Sunny sent an image.  
Basil sent an image.  
Sunny sent an image.  
Basil sent an image.  
Sunny sent an image.  
Basil sent an image.  
Basil: Hey um,,, are we ever gonna,,, actually talk??? About things???  
Sunny: not rn. later  
Sunny sent an image.  
Basil: Understandable  
Basil sent an image.  
Sunny sent an image.

Kel >>> Aubrey  
5:31 PM  
Kel: AUBREY IM SORRYYYYYY  
Kel: PLS DONT IGNORE ME AGAIN DDDDD:  
Aubrey: KEL WHAT THE FUCK EVEN WAS THAT  
Kel: IM SORRYYYYYY  
Aubrey: KEL YOU DUMB FUCK YOU ARE LITERALLY ON THE FUCKING BASKETBALL TEAM HOW THE HELL DO YOU FUCK UP A THROW THAT BAD  
Kel: AKSJDLFJAKSDJFOJ JJSLFJ I DONT KNOW IT JUST HAPPENED  
Aubrey: I thought you were the one that was so worried abt Hero being mad!!!! Why were you throwing shit in there in the first place!!!!  
Kel: look,  
Aubrey: Seriously, I thought he was gonna lose it!!! What the fuck is wrong with you!  
Kel: local med student finally snaps at pizza place, more at 7  
Aubrey: SHUT THE FUCK UP  
Aubrey: YOU'RE LITERALLY THE WORST  
Kel: SORRY SORRY  
Aubrey: Seriously dude, you were way more annoying than usual today. My jacket's ruined now. It's almost like you were trying to piss Hero off.  
Kel: ha  
Aubrey: No way  
Kel: H A  
Aubrey: KEL.  
Kel: i promise i have a good reason,  
Aubrey: YOU BETTER WTF THATS SO SHITTY  
Kel: NONONO ITS ALL A PART OF MY MASTER PLAN  
Aubrey: You have a plan.  
Kel: yes  
Aubrey: And this plan. Involves pissing off Hero.  
Kel: also yes  
Aubrey: Explain.  
Kel: okay well um. you remember when we were all visiting the cemetary? and we all talked about...stuff?  
Aubrey: ...yes.  
Kel: well ive just uh been thinking abt it.  
Kel: after mari...died.. hero was super depressed. we wouldnt leave bed, wouldnt talk, hardly ate...it was kinda scary. no matter what i did he just...layed there. it felt like i was losing him, too.  
Aubrey: Oh. Kel...  
Kel: but!! then uh i guess i fucked up or smth bc one day i REALLY pissed him off  
Kel: TOTALLY sent him over the edge  
Kel: and actually i dont remember that day all too well tbh which is prolly for the better lol  
Kel: but what i DO remember is that after he finally went off on me he started getting better!!!  
Kel: he started waking up earlier and going to school and eating every day  
Kel: and like. i know im usually pretty useless and im a huge pain in the ass to everyone most of the time  
Kel: so!!! i thought that if pissing ppl off is all i can do, then i could use that to make hero angry and do the same thing as before!!! you know, before he gets all depressed again!  
Kel: genius, right???  
Aubrey: Kel. Dude.  
Kel: ??  
Aubrey: That's kinda fucked up ngl  
Aubrey: Like, for you.  
Kel: whatever  
Kel: you didnt see him back then aubrey, but i did  
Kel: im not letting that happen again  
Aubrey: Still...  
Kel: whatever  
Kel: i have to go eat dinner now  
Kel: bye  
Aubrey: ...

Basil >>> Sunny  
11:53 AM  
Basil: Oh yeah!!! Sunny!!! I forgot to ask!!!  
Basil: Whats your new house like???  
Sunny: small  
Sunny: towns small too  
Sunny sent an image.  
Basil: Oh!!! Is that your new room???  
Sunny: mhm  
Basil: It looks cozy!!!! :3  
Sunny: yeah  
Sunny: um  
Basil: Hm??  
Sunny: i've been thinking of getting a plant  
Basil: !!!!!!!!!!!  
Basil: OH oh I know just the one!!!!!  
Basil: You should get a spider plant!!! Theyre very hardy plants and perfect for people that dont have a lot of experience gardening!!!!!  
Sunny: spider plant?  
Basil: Yeah!!!!  
Basil: Oh but dont worry!!!!! They dont actually have anything to do with spiders!!!  
Sunny: oh. good  
Sunny: ill see if i can find one  
Sunny: thanks  
Basil: No problem!!!!! :D

Aubrey >>> Hero  
12:44 PM  
Aubrey: Hero, it's Aubrey. I need to talk to you.  
Hero: Oh, hey Aubrey. What is it?  
Aubrey: It's about Kel  
Hero: Don't tell me he's done something again already... I swear he's been more and more careless recently.  
Aubrey: Not like you're thinking  
Aubrey: UGH this has been pissing me off all night  
Hero: What are you talking about?  
Aubrey: He's been annoying you on purpose dumbass. Like, since Sunny left.  
Hero: What.  
Aubrey: Yeah, but don't yell at him yet. Let me finish.  
Hero: ...go on.  
Aubrey: Okay so we were talking last night after we got home and he said some things  
Aubrey: About how you were after Mari died  
Hero: ...did he now.  
Aubrey: Yeah, he said you were barely eating and it scared the hell out of him  
Aubrey: And then he said how you only started acting normal after you went off on him or smth  
Hero: ...  
Aubrey: And he told me how he's got this whole idea that if he could piss you off like that again, then he could keep you from getting all depressed like you were then  
Aubrey: He said he'd rather you be angry at him all the time than sad and stuck in bed  
Hero: ...he said that?  
Aubrey: Yeah  
Aubrey: Said he thought he was useless and only good for getting on ppl's nerves  
Hero: Oh. I didn't even realize...  
Hero: God, and I even promised I'd never get like that again...  
Aubrey: It's fine  
Aubrey: Bsides, I've been kinda worried abt you too ngl  
Hero: Really..?  
Aubrey: Yea  
Aubrey: Ugh look I'm not good at this touchy-feely shit, but take it from someone who spent the last four years pissed off at everything  
Aubrey: Being mad all the time is exhausting. Being mad at everyone just hurts. Especially if you're not doing anything with it and you're just mad for the sake of being mad.  
Aubrey: Like I get it man, I'm pissed at Basil and Sunny too, but like... You're allowed to be angry, but you shouldn't let your anger be you, you know?  
Hero: That was surprisingly mature of you.  
Aubrey: OHHH MY GOD LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPP  
Hero: Haha, okay.  
Hero: I'll think about it. Thank you.  
Aubrey: Yeah yeah whatever  
Aubrey: Just stop being passive-aggressive all the time okay. I think Kel's like, this close to straight up breaking something.  
Hero: Alright, alright, I will. And I'll have a talk with him, too.  
Hero: By the way... where did you get my number? I don't remember giving it to you.  
Aubrey: Kel's phone password is spacepiratehector12345.  
Hero: Of course it is.  
Hero: I'll talk to you later. Have a good day, Aubrey.  
Aubrey: Whatever Grandpa

Sunny >>> Basil  
8:39 PM  
Sunny sent an image.  
Sunny: meet egg  
Basil: You got the plant!!!!  
Basil: And uh, named it,,, Egg?  
Sunny: not Egg. egg.  
Sunny: lowercase  
Basil: ...Okay.  
Basil: Uhmmm, would you like me to send you some tips on caring for it tomorrow???  
Sunny: her  
Sunny: yes  
Basil: ...Alright. I'll do that then.  
Basil: Uhm Im!! Going to bed now!!! Goodnight Sunny!!!  
Sunny: goodnight  
Sunny: egg also says goodnight

Kel >>> Aubrey  
12:12 AM  
Kel: AUBREY WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO HERO  
Kel: WHY IS HE BEING SO SAPPY  
Aubrey: Lol get rekt


	2. *picture of mushroom* plant scientists be like. hm not quite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aubrey: I don't know, actually.  
> Aubrey: Ask Hero, he's a med student ain't he?  
> Kel: i just did  
> Kel: he said "kel if i find out your doing drugs ill never cook you bacon again" and then hit me with a spatula

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello for some reason?? ao3 kept showing this as a single-chap fic despite me checking off the multiple chapters option??? whatever lol

Aubrey >>> Basil  
12:41 PM  
Aubrey: Hey. It's Aubrey.  
Basil: Aubrey!!! Hi!!  
Basil: Uh,,, whered you get my number;;;???  
Aubrey: Kel's phone password is spacepiratehector12345  
Basil: Of course it is.  
Basil: Wait, whered Kel get my number????  
Aubrey: You didn't give it to him?  
Basil: No,,,  
Basil: I havent seen any of you since the hospital,,,  
Aubrey: What the fuck I thought he's been talking to you????  
Aubrey: Ugh whatever. I think I know why he hasn't. He's stupid anyway.  
Aubrey: But, uh....  
Aubrey: Has...Sunny been talking to you, at least?  
Basil: Oh um!! Yeah!!!   
Basil: We havent been talking a whole lot, but I think hes just,,,,getting used to talking to someone so much, you know???  
Aubrey: I get that.  
Aubrey: Is he doing okay?  
Basil: I think so!!! He said the place he lives at now is pretty small, but he sent me a picture and I think it looks pretty cozy!!!!!  
Aubrey: That's good.  
Aubrey: What kinda things do you two talk about anyways? I've always wanted to know what goes through his head  
Basil: Uhmm,,,, weve tried to keep things light for now,,,  
Basil: I helped him find a plant for his room!!!! He named...her?...egg.  
Aubrey: e  
Aubrey: Egg?  
Aubrey: He named a fucking plant EGG?  
Basil: egg, not Egg. He was uh,,, very specific on the lowercase.  
Aubrey: I am suddenly very glad that I never let him name any of my dolls.  
Basil: Haha, he certainly does have very silly names, doesnt he??  
Basil: Hes also been sending me these funny pictures!!!! He says they remind him of me!!  
Aubrey: Funny pictures??  
Basil: Mhm!!!  
Basil sent an image.  
Basil: Stuff like this!!  
Aubrey: AHDFLGHAKLSHDFGJAHSLGA;DSHGOH M Y GOD????  
Aubrey: OHM Y GOD WAIT THAT'S SO TRUE THO  
Aubrey: HOLD ON A SECOND  
Basil:??? Okay???

Aubrey >>> Kel  
Aubrey sent an image.  
Aubrey: LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THIS ISN'T BASIL  
Kel: HALGHLSHDKGHLKAH HOLY SHIT

Aubrey >>> Basil  
Aubrey: Basil PLEASE tell me he's sent you more  
Basil: Uhmm,,, yeah hes sent me a bunch,,,, do you want to see them??  
Aubrey: Y E S  
Basil: Okay!!!  
Basil sent an image.  
Basil sent an image.  
Basil sent an image.  
Aubrey: OH GODHSAGOISHDIO OSIHOHIOH SOTP STOP  
Aubrey: THATS ENOUGH THATS ENOUGH

Aubrey >>> Kel  
Aubrey sent an image.  
Aubrey sent an image.  
Aubrey sent an image.  
Kel: SADGKLALJJGASJ AUBREY???  
Kel: WEHRE ARE U GETTING THESE  
Aubrey: Like I'd tell you  
Kel: PLSSSS THESE ARE KILLING ME AHGLSH  
Aubrey: Die in ignorance <3  
Kel: WHAT NO  
Kel: TELL ME  
Kel: AUBREY WHO IS ITTTTTTTTT  
Kel: :'''''''''(

Aubrey >>> Basil  
Aubrey: omfg I don't think I've laughed like that in years  
Aubrey: My stomach hurts alhdglakgkdlhs  
Aubrey: PLEASE tell me whenever he sends you a new one  
Basil: Uhm okay??? I will!  
Aubrey: Also if Kel says anything, you've never seen these before in your life, got it?  
Basil: ??? Okay!!  
Basil: Glad you liked them!!   
Aubrey: I love them Basil you have NO idea  
Aubrey: Anyway, uh  
Aubrey: How have... you been doing? Lately?  
Basil: O h,,, me?  
Basil: Um,,,  
Basil: Ive been,,, okay? I guess?  
Aubrey: You sure?  
Basil: Well I mean,, uh,, Im not...great  
Basil: Im better than I was before, though, so thats something!!!  
Basil: Ive just been trying to uh,,, take things one day at a time,, you know??  
Aubrey: Yeah, I get it. That's good.   
Aubrey: That you're doing better.  
Aubrey: Um.... I'm not good at this feely shit but like...  
Aubrey: Ugh  
Aubrey: Look I can't promise I'll be too nice about it bc I'm well aware I'm a dickhead, but if you're having like a really bad day or smth you can talk to me. Okay?  
Basil: Oh.  
Basil: Uhm not that I dont appreciate it or anything but,,,, are you sure?  
Aubrey: Not really  
Aubrey: But like  
Aubrey: ughhhhhhhhhhhh  
Aubrey: I still feel like shit over pushing you into the lake okay? I was way too angry and forgot where we were but that's not an excuse and I still feel awful abt it  
Aubrey: Bc if Hero wasn't there then I could've been like you guys  
Aubrey: Except worse bc I know Sunny's like aquaphobic or smth so he probably would've drowned too  
Aubrey: And the only reason I'm not is bc of dumb fucking luck  
Aubrey: Don't get me wrong, I'm still mad as hell that you guys did that and lied about it for so long, but it'd be kinda hypocritical of me to pretend you guys are these unforgivable monsters, esp since I'm 16 and you guys were like, 12  
Aubrey: And it's just  
Aubrey: Idk I feel like you guys have been hurt enough bc of what happened  
Aubrey: Like, I don't forgive you, but I'm willing to work on forgiving you later  
Aubrey: If that makes sense.  
Basil: ...It does.  
Basil: That...means a lot to me, Aubrey.  
Basil: Um... I really dont expect. Any of you to forgive me. Like, ever.  
Basil: So its okay if you dont. You dont have to.  
Aubrey: I want to, though.  
Basil: Oh.  
Basil: Um.  
Basil: Thank you.  
Aubrey: Ugh whatever. I think I've expended all my feelings for the day. I'm gonna go read a comic or smth  
Basil: Okay. Bye, Aubrey.  
Basil: Um,,, do you want me to give you Sunnys number??  
Aubrey: ...not yet.  
Aubrey: Later, but not yet.  
Basil: Okay. Just tell me when you want it.  
Aubrey: Sure.

Hero >>> Kel  
4:28 PM  
Hero: Kel?  
Hero: Kel??  
Hero: Kel, answer your phone.  
Hero: KEL.  
Hero: I'm making lasagna for dinner.  
Kel: HOLLY SHIT YOU ARE???  
Hero: No.  
Kel: why u gotta do me like that bro...  
Hero: I haven't seen you all day. Why weren't you answering your phone?  
Kel: huh  
Kel: OH  
Kel: i was picking up trash around town and put it on silent so i wouldnt get distracted  
Hero: You were picking up trash?? By choice???  
Kel: dont say it like that!!!!   
Kel: bsides theres a lady in the playground paying like three bucks per bag  
Hero: Ah, that's why.  
Kel: hey >:(  
Kel: why were u looking for me n e way  
Hero: No reason, just noticed you've been gone a while. I got curious.  
Kel: .  
Kel: u thought i was hanging out with b*sil, didnt u  
Hero: You don't have to censor his name.  
Hero: But yes, you caught me...  
Kel: rly man. cmon  
Hero: I know, I know, and we just had that conversation the other day, too...   
Hero: I'm sorry.  
Kel: its cool  
Kel: i wouldnt talk to him w/o telling u first tho  
Hero: It's none of my business who you talk to. You don't have to do that.  
Kel: omg do u realize how that sounds  
Hero: Yes. Sorry. I didn't mean it like that.  
Kel: i know u didnt lol im just messing  
Kel: but like i dont want u to think ur the only one upset at them or anything   
Kel: so like. id rather wait until ur more chill abt everything to talk to them  
Kel: so that we could talk abt it ourselve w/o fighting  
Hero: That's very mature of you, Kel.  
Kel: ty ive been trying  
Hero: You know, Kel. You *are* only 16. You're allowed to be the immature one. If anything, *I* should be the one trying to be considerate of *your* feeling.  
Kel: ya ya and ur only 20 ur allowed to be immature n shit too  
Kel: ur not mom u know  
Kel: ur allowed to not build ur every action off of how itll affect me  
Hero: I'm your older brother. I'm supposed to take you into thought.  
Kel: ok but like   
Kel: idek how to explain it man  
Kel: im not gonna drop dead or smth just bc ur less than perfect around me. i want u to be comfortable around me  
Kel: like. its okay dude. ur allowed to be bitchy. esp rn  
Hero: Still...  
Kel: look ur trying not to yell at me like you did after mari, right?  
Hero: Yeah. I promised.  
Kel: okay but thats what im talking about!!!!! thats what happens when ur never angry around anyone ever!!!  
Kel: it doesnt go away it just sits there until it pops  
Kel: u gotta find a way to let urself be pissy or itll build up till is blows up  
Hero: ...You're probably right.  
Hero: Thank you, Kel.  
Kel: haha np  
Hero: Again, it was very mature of you.  
Kel: yea yea i told u i been trying  
Hero: ...You know,  
Kel: ?  
Hero: I think I might make lasagna for dinner after all. :)  
Kel: DEAD ASS?????? FUCK YEAH  
Hero: Just remember to wash up before dinner, Kel. You have been dealing with trash all day, after all.  
Kel: ANYTHING FOR UR LASAGNA HERO I LVOE YOU  
Hero: Haha, love you too, Kel.

Kel >>> Aubrey  
6:24 PM  
Kel sent an image.  
Kel: HEROS LASGNA TIME BABEY!!  
Aubrey: NO FUCKING WAY  
Aubrey: SAVE ME SOME  
Kel: tell me who sent you those basil memes  
Aubrey: Dirty bastard. No.  
Kel: guess ill just have to eat all this delicious lasagna by myself  
Kel: om nom nom  
Aubrey: Fuck you

Aubrey >>> Hero  
Aubrey: Hero my best friend in the entire world that I love very much may I please also have lasagna  
Hero: Oh, did Kel tell you I made some?  
Aubrey: YES and he WONT SAVE SOME FOR ME  
Hero: Well, we can't have that, can we?  
Hero: I'll tell him to let you come over.  
Aubrey: THANK YOU I LOVE YOU

Kel >>> Aubrey  
Kel: BRO WTF NOOOO  
Kel: hero says i have to invite you over >:(   
Aubrey: WHOOOOOOOOOOP LASAGNA TIME  
Kel: ill tell him ur busy tonite  
Aubrey: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE YOU BITCH  
Aubrey: I'm literally already half-way there don't you say shit  
Kel: tf??? howd you get here so fast???  
Aubrey: I hear the words "Hero's Lasagna" and 200ccs of methamphetamine are sponateously injected into my central nervous system.  
Kel: wouldnt that kill you??  
Aubrey: I don't know, actually.  
Aubrey: Ask Hero, he's a med student ain't he?  
Kel: i just did  
Kel: he said "kel if i find out your doing drugs ill never cook you bacon again" and then hit me with a spatula  
Aubrey: alhsdlhgalshgo;aihsdghasdhg  
Aubrey: I'm outside.  
Kel: h  
Kel: HUH??  
Aubrey: Let me in.  
Kel: hm. no.  
Kel: oKAY OKAY STOP BANGIN ON THE DOOR JFC UR GONNA WAKE UP SALLY  
Aubrey: Lasagna time.


	3. they r just leetl creechurs...they canot chang this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basil: Lets talk about something else then!!  
> Sunny: ok  
> Sunny: can i name your rosemary  
> Basil: No.  
> Sunny: sadness

Basil >>> Sunny  
12:14 PM  
Basil: Hey Sunny!!! Look at this!!!  
Basil sent an image.  
Basil: It's the sprout of one of my newest plants!!! It's rosemary!!  
Basil: Im not used to growing plants that arent flowers but Polly likes to cook with these kinda of herbs, and I wanted to try branching out to different plants anyways,,, so I decided to try my hand at it!!! If I can grow them then itll save her a lot of trouble and give her tasty fresh herbs to use!!!  
Basil: What do you think??  
Basil: Sunny???  
Basil: Um,,, are you even awake right now??  
Sunny: m  
Basil: Huh,,,???  
Sunny: b oi ih  
Basil: Sunny are you,,, okay??  
Sunny sent an image.  
Basil: ?????? What?????  
Basil: Is something wrong??!?  
Sunny: tttttttttttttttttttttttt,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, f  
Basil: Sunny :((((((?????  
Sunny: huh  
Sunny: whats wrong  
Basil: Thats what I wanna know!!!!!  
Basil: Are you okay?????  
Sunny: ???  
Sunny: oh  
Sunny: my bad  
Basil: What happened??  
Sunny: mouse  
Basil: ??????????  
Sunny: sat on my phone  
Basil: A mouse sat on your phone??  
Sunny: yes  
Basil: You have mice in your new home??? Oh no!!!!  
Sunny: its fine  
Sunny: theyre cute  
Basil: Hm.... I guess you have a point!!! They are pretty cute !!!!  
Sunny: i named them  
Basil: You. Did?  
Sunny: yes  
Sunny: wanna know?  
Basil: ...I guess,,??  
Sunny: the one just now was Torothy  
Basil: Torothy??  
Sunny: tom + dorothy  
Basil: I. see.  
Sunny: theres also bicheal  
Sunny: drim  
Sunny: local  
Sunny: and 8  
Basil: You uh. Sure have a lot of mice. In your home.  
Sunny: they might all be the same mouse  
Sunny: i cant tell  
Basil: Well um!! Hopefully its only one mouse. Itd be easier to get rid of then!!!  
Sunny: i dont want to get rid of them  
Basil: You,, dont?  
Sunny: no  
Sunny: theyre friends  
Basil: But wont they like,, eat your food,, and put holes in the walls??  
Sunny: so does kel  
Basil: Thats. True.  
Basil: But dont mice also have like,,, fleas,, and diseases,, and stuff?  
Sunny: small price to pay for creatures  
Basil: ,,,  
Basil: Okay.  
Basil: But you know,, your mom might find them and get rid of them...  
Sunny: oh  
Sunny: oh no  
Sunny: sadness  
Basil: Ah Im sorry!!! I didnt mean to make you sad!!!  
Basil: Lets talk about something else then!!  
Sunny: ok  
Sunny: can i name your rosemary  
Basil: No.  
Sunny: sadness

Kel >>> Aubrey  
2:35 PM  
Kel: aubrey i am literally begging you to do something about micheal  
Aubrey: Who  
Kel: micheal  
Aubrey: Idk any Micheals  
Kel: oh my god he is LITERALLY in your gang  
Aubrey: No??? There's no one named Micheal in my group??  
Kel: AUBREY. HE LIVES LIKE TWO HOUSES AWAY FROM ME.  
Aubrey: OOOOHHHHH  
Aubrey: You mean The Maverick  
Kel: im not calling him that  
Aubrey: Why not  
Kel: its stupid  
Kel: im never calling him that ever  
Aubrey: Pussy  
Aubrey: Anyway what abt him  
Kel: its his fucking hair  
Aubrey: You got a problem with people who wear wigs? Asshat  
Aubrey: Also that's like. Not even close to what I thought you'd dislike abt him.  
Kel: if ur talking abt his shit with girls idrc bc in the end hes losing like fifty bucks a day and theyre getting paid so like. whos the real victim  
Aubrey: You have a point ahdflksa  
Aubrey: Anyway what your problem with his wig  
Kel: why does he even wear it  
Aubrey: Uhh because he wants to stand out from the rest of his family??? You know, like most teenagers???  
Kel: but like  
Kel: why doesnt he just dye it then  
Kel: i mean. you dyed ur hair. why cant he  
Aubrey: That's  
Aubrey: Hm  
Aubrey: I don't know??? What the fuck  
Aubrey: Why do you wanna know anyway  
Kel: bc he just ran past me, tripped, and his wig fell off  
Kel: got me thinking like. why  
Aubrey: rip  
Aubrey: But no, you got a point...  
Aubrey: Fuck it I'm asking him

Aubrey >>> THE MAVERICK  
Aubrey: Oi mav  
THE MAVERICK: Hey Aubrey ;)  
THE MAVERICK: You good?  
Aubrey: Yeah man, doing good, doing better.  
Aubrey: Got a q tho  
THE MAVERICK: Haha what is it ;)  
Aubrey: Why do you wear a wig instead of dying your hair.  
THE MAVERICK: Aubrey, my good, dear friend,  
THE MAVERICK: My parents would actually, literally kill me.  
THE MAVERICK: T'would be a bloody, gorey murder.  
Aubrey: You mean to tell me. That your parents are fine with you running around with the rest of us.  
Aubrey: Vandalising, loitering, and harassing the locals.  
Aubrey: But they draw the line at dying your hair blonde?  
Aubrey: Not even an unnatural color. But BLONDE?  
THE MAVERICK: What can I say... but yes ;)  
Aubrey: Wow. Lame.  
THE MAVERICK: ;(

Aubrey >>> Kel  
Aubrey: His parents won't let him  
Kel: you guys literally beat people up tho?  
Kel: lame  
Aubrey: THAT'S WHAT I SAID  
Aubrey: I kinda wanna peer pressure him into doing now.  
Kel: omg why  
Aubrey: Idk I think it'll be funny.  
Kel: omg wait  
Kel: wait i have an idea  
Aubrey: Ouch, don't hurt yourself  
Kel: HEY SHUT UP  
Kel: LISTEN  
Aubrey: Ugh fine  
Kel: okay so like. ur group thinks im lame and annoying and wtvr right  
Kel: like they think im the opposite of cool  
Aubrey: Oh yea they hate you  
Kel: coolcoolcool  
Kel: so like  
Kel: what if. I did something Rebellious and Gangster that not even they could do.  
Kel: would they like lose their shit  
Aubrey: 1. Never call something "Gangster" ever again or I'm breaking your arm.  
Kel: fair  
Aubrey: 2. You are way too much of a goody two-shoes. I SAW you picking up trash yesterday. You can't fool me.  
Kel: I WAS DOING THAT TO GET PAID AHGDOAHS  
Aubrey: Whatever. Point is u wont do shit if u think it'll disappoint Hero and ur parents  
Aubrey: 3. This is just a long-winded way to say that you want to dye your hair, isn't it  
Kel: caught me lol  
Kel: think abt it tho  
Kel: imagine if i did and micheal saw it  
Kel: "Goody Two-Shoes Kel Dyed His Hair Before Moi??"  
Kel: hed totally get rid of that dumb wig and do it himself too  
Aubrey: Hm. You have a point.  
Aubrey: Idk tho I'm p sure Hero would freak.  
Kel: ill let u choose the color  
Aubrey: DEAL

Aubrey >>> Hero  
Aubrey: :)  
Hero: Aubrey?  
Aubrey: :)))  
Hero: ???

Aubrey >>> Basil  
4:21 PM  
Aubrey: Basil. Do me a favor  
Basil: Oh hi Aubrey!!!  
Basil: Sure!!! What is it???  
Aubrey sent a picture.  
Basil: IS THAT KEL??????  
Aubrey: Hell yeah it is. He let me dye his hair. >:)  
Basil: Doesnt he hate pink though,,??  
Aubrey: Hehe yep  
Aubrey: Technically it's not pink tho, it's magenta  
Aubrey: Don't get me wrong, I WANTED to do pink, but a bright color would've looked weird  
Basil: Hmm.... I think youre right!!!  
Basil: You did a really good job!!!!!  
Aubrey: Wow uh, thanks?  
Basil: Anyway um,,, whats the favor you wanted??  
Aubrey: Oh yeah!  
Aubrey: Can you send this to Sunny and tell him to make a meme out of it or smth?? He's stupid funny and I want to send it to Hero before I let Kel go home  
Basil: Oh uh,,, okay!!1  
Basil: I will!!!!  
Aubrey: Ty you are a godsend

Basil >>> Sunny  
Basil sent a picture.  
Basil: Hey uh Sunny??  
Sunny: kel?  
Basil: Yeah thats Kel!!! Aubreys dying his hair!!  
Basil: Um she wanted me to ask you if you can make a uh,, "meme" out of this to send to Hero??  
Basil: I showed her the ones you sent me and she thinks youre really funny!!!!  
Sunny: hm  
Sunny: ok  
Sunny: give me a sec  
Basil: Okay!!!!

4:36 PM  
Sunny sent a picture.  
Sunny: done  
Basil: !!!!! Thank you!!!  
Basil: And I agree with Aubrey!!! Youre really funny :)!!!  
Sunny: thanks

Basil >>> Aubrey  
Basil sent a picture.  
Basil: Here it is!!!!  
Aubrey: AHDSGOHOSAHDGOHAOHLFSDHGLHSJG  
Aubrey: HOL YS HIT  
Aubrey: Perfect. Oh my god. I'm sending this to Hero right fucking now.  
Basil: Did Kel leave already?? If not you should wait until he does,,,  
Basil: That way if Hero messages him, hell already be on his way home and cant yell at you about it!!!  
Aubrey: You're so right.  
Aubrey: Okay Kel left a few minutes ago. It's sent.  
Basil: Hehehe,,,  
Basil: Um,,,,  
Aubrey: ?  
Basil: Kels not gonna be in,,, a lot of trouble,, is he?  
Aubrey: Hm. Dunno.  
Aubrey: Maybe at first. I don't think it'll be too bad.  
Basil: Are you sure,,??  
Aubrey: Yeah man. Even if he was I'll just explain everything to Hero. He'll get it.  
Basil: Okay,,, thats good.  
Basil: Um Sunny said thank you btw!!! For saying he was funny!!!  
Aubrey: Tell him I said np. He's fucking hilarious  
Basil: Okay!!!

Kel >>> Aubrey  
5:03 PM  
Kel: guess whos grounded B)  
Aubrey: LHFSIGHIAOHOIGH WORTH IT  
Kel: HELL YEAH

Hero >>> Aubrey  
5:03 PM  
Hero: I hope you know, Kel's grounded now.  
Aubrey: By you or your parents  
Hero: Our parents.  
Aubrey: Worth it  
Aubrey: And what do YOU think about his Luxurious, Beautiful, Wonderful, New Hair?  
Hero: ...It suits him surprisingly well. And he seems to like it.  
Aubrey: So like I said. WORTH IT  
Hero: Just...make sure to let someone know BEFORE you two do something like this again, okay?  
Aubrey: So all I gotta do is let'em know? That's all?  
Hero: Well, no, that's not all,  
Aubrey: Cool cool I'll be sure to let you know when we get matching piercings  
Hero: Aubrey, no  
Aubrey: Maybe septum rings? I've always wanted an eyebrow piercing...  
Hero: AUBREY, NO!  
Aubrey: Haha I'm just messing w u lol  
Hero: Oh...good..phew  
Aubrey: Haha lol

Aubrey >>> Kel  
Aubrey: Wanna get nose piercings  
Kel: FUCK YEAH

<< HOOLIGANG >>  
5:15 PM  
THE MAVERICK: WHEN THE FUCK DID KEL OF ALL PEOPLE DYE HIS FUCKING HAIR  
THE MAVERICK: WHAT THE FUCK  
Aubrey: Lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for everyone asking what sunnys memes look like... at least One of them is just the horse standing on a beach meme except instead of MAN its PLANT


	4. customers the same in all universes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aubrey: Pleasepleaseplease give me his number, you'll be my best friend forever  
> Aubrey: I'll enter a lavender marriage w u  
> Aubrey: ASSHOLE  
> Aubrey: ANSWER ME

Sunny >>> Basil  
1:15 PM  
Sunny: good morning  
Basil: Good morning Sunny!!!!  
Basil: Er um,,, I guess its more like,, good afternoon though.  
Sunny: hm.  
Sunny: so it is  
Basil: Did you,,, just wake up??  
Sunny: maybe  
Basil: Wow...I didnt think you were the kind of person to sleep in so late,,!!  
Basil: Unless um,, you went to bed really late too?  
Sunny: no  
Sunny: i went to bed at 7 last night  
Basil: S  
Basil: Seven??? Seven O Clock???  
Sunny: yes  
Sunny: i was tired  
Basil: Are you getting sick???  
Basil: Whenever I get sick I fall asleep really early,,,  
Sunny: hm.  
Sunny: didnt consider that.  
Sunny: maybe  
Basil: Oh no!!!!!  
Basil: Well if youre getting sick, then you should be taking it easy!!!!  
Basil: Make sure to eat nutrious food (NO COOKING!!) and get plenty of sleep!!! And and wash your hands too lots too!!!  
Sunny: ok  
Sunny: i will  
Basil: Good!!!! I hope you start feeling better soon!  
Sunny: ty  
Sunny: um  
Basil: ??  
Sunny: you have aubreys number?  
Basil: Uh. Yes??  
Basil: Why??  
Sunny: cool  
Sunny sent an image.  
Sunny: send her this  
Sunny: dont tell her its from me  
Basil: Um,, okay,,  
Basil: I will,,!

Basil >>> Aubrey  
Basil sent an image.  
Aubrey: Wtf  
Aubrey: Is that Captain Spaceboy???  
Aubrey: And Sweetheart???  
Basil: I think so,,  
Aubrey: Tf kinda crackship is this  
Aubrey: Kinda cute tho ngl  
Aubrey: Who made this  
Basil: UMMm,,  
Basil: Im not supposed to say,,,  
Aubrey: What  
Aubrey: Basil  
Aubrey: Who made this  
Basil: Im sorry Im really not supposed to say!!!!  
Aubrey: Why not????  
Basil: UMM  
Basil: I dont know!!! Uhh  
Basil: They just said to give it to you,,,  
Aubrey: Who???  
Basil: UHH,,,,,  
Basil: Ha ha I dont know!!! Uh I just uh,,, found it online!!!  
Aubrey: Dude I already know you know  
Aubrey: Just tell me  
Basil: Wwhy do you want to know so bad??  
Aubrey: Well, I didn't really care at first, but now ur acting weird  
Aubrey: Who made the drawing Basil  
Basil: ;;;;;;;

Basil >>> Sunny  
Basil: Sunny help she keeps asking who made it!!!!  
Basil: Um uh who drew the picture??? Maybe if I tell her that she wont ask who told me to give it to her,,,  
Sunny: i did  
Basil: Huh  
Basil: ????  
Sunny: i drew it  
Sunny: i dont want people asking me to draw things all the time though  
Sunny: so dont tell her it was me  
Basil: ;;;;;;;;;

Aubrey >>> Basil  
Aubrey: BASIL. WHO MADE THE FUCKING DRAWING.  
Aubrey: WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO SHADY ABOUT THIS.  
Basil: Shady what,,??? Ha ha whos shady,,,,  
Aubrey: Look you fucker,  
Aubrey: Tell me who drew the fucking picture or the dandelion thats growing in the sidewalk in front of my house gets weeded  
Basil: AAAAH NO NO NO DONT IM SORRY  
Basil: OKAYOKAY IT WAS SUNNYYYYYYY  
Aubrey: SUNNY DREW THAT?  
Basil: YESS BUT HE DIDNT WANT ANYONE TO KNOW HE CAN DRAW IM SORRY,,,,!!!!!!!!!

Basil >>> Sunny  
Basil: I TOLD HER,,, IM SORRYYYYYYYY  
Sunny: anger

Basil >>> Aubrey  
Basil: Now hes mad at me,,,,  
Aubrey: HOLD ON A SECOND  
Aubrey: Can you. Can you ask him to draw me something  
Basil: No!!!! I already told you hes mad at me now!!1  
Basil: He doesnt want people asking him to draw things anyway,,,,  
Aubrey: Ugh fine then pussy  
Aubrey: Give me his number then, I'll ask him myself  
Basil: What!!!! No!!!!1  
Aubrey: You said you'd give me his number when I asked!!!  
Basil: Yeah but,, not for this!!!!  
Aubrey: OMG Just give me his number!  
Aubrey: Basil  
Aubrey: Basil don't you DARE ignore me  
Aubrey: GIVE ME HIS FUCKING NUMBER  
Aubrey: Basil please  
Aubrey: Pleasepleaseplease give me his number, you'll be my best friend forever  
Aubrey: I'll enter a lavender marriage w u  
Aubrey: ASSHOLE  
Aubrey: ANSWER ME  
Aubrey: jsyk I'm not gonna stop texting you until you give me his number

Kel >>> Hero  
1:41 PM  
Kel: hey uh hero? bro?  
Hero: Yes Kel?  
Kel: um. i was uh thinking.  
Kel: i kinda wanna talk to basil.  
Hero: Oh. You do?  
Kel: kinda.  
Kel: i think im ready to really listen to him this time.  
Kel: i just wanted to check w you first tho.  
Hero: If you want to talk to him, you can talk to him, Kel.  
Kel: i know i know  
Kel: i just wanna know like  
Kel: idk if it goes well and we start talking more often i just wanna know if ud be cool with that  
Kel: or if u dont think u can handle that yet  
Hero: No, I get it. And I appreciate you being considerate of my feelings Kel, I really do.  
Hero: And you know, I'm really proud of you for how you've been handling everything. I know it hasn't been easy, but you've been really good about keeping your cool and going about things rationally. You've really grown a lot  
Kel: ah jeez man  
Kel: u dont gotta butter me up if ur gonna say no  
Kel: its cool  
Hero: I'm not just trying to flatter you, Kel. I really do mean it.  
Hero: And besides, I was going to say yes.  
Kel: haha yea surWAIT REALLY?  
Kel: youre cool w me talking to him??  
Hero: Yes. I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I'm fine with hearing him out.  
Hero: Or at least...letting you hear him out first.  
Kel: SWEET ty ty ty  
Hero: You're welcome, Kel.  
Hero: But, we're going to be talking about that other part of the conversation later.  
Kel: haha what other part  
Kel: n e way gtg omw to basils love u bye  
Hero: Kel...

Kel >>> Hero  
5:23 PM  
Kel: omw back  
Kel: got some cookies from the bakery  
Hero: Hi, Kel. Cookies??  
Kel: hell ya. yummy yummy fr our tummy tummies  
Hero: Don't. Say that.  
Kel: lol  
Hero: Anyway.  
Hero: How did...it...go?  
Kel: p good  
Kel: i helped him with his plants while we talked and ms. polly made us lunch  
Kel: i expected to be crying n stuff but like... he kept his cool and i kept mine  
Kel: he explained what all he remembered from uh. that day. and from when he and sunny had that fight too.  
Kel: ngl it was all kinda fucked up but like. i think i get it? like i can almost kinda see it from their perspective. why n how it happened.  
Hero: Sounds like a lot to think about.  
Kel: yeah. he said he didnt expect us to forgive him either which was. kind of a relief? i guess?  
Hero: There's no pressure to make a decision, then.  
Kel: yeah that  
Kel: theres a lot of stuff said that id rather tell u face to face but for the most part it was kinda chill  
Kel: well  
Kel: mostly  
Hero: Mostly? He didn't do anything, did he?  
Kel: nono nothing like that  
Kel: but it was rly weird  
Kel: like. his phone.  
Hero: ...his phone??  
Kel: YEAH it kept going off every five minutes  
Kel: like the ENTIRE time  
Hero: The ENTIRE time??  
Hero: Kel, you were there for almost four hours.  
Kel: I KNOW  
Kel: i asked him what was up n he looked me straight in the eye and said "I dont have a phone, kel. what are you talking about. its completely silent."  
Kel: n then later i heard ms. polly asking him when he was gonna answer "that girl" back and he straight up said "who" fahsghadghi  
Hero: What....  
Hero: Is he...being harrassed online or something?  
Kel: i dont think so??? he didnt act like he was nervous or scared or nuthin  
Kel: he just seemed like he was straight up ignoring it  
Hero: Hm...  
Hero: I'd tell you to message him later to make sure he's okay...but he probably wouldn't notice.  
Kel: yeah n i forgot to get his number lol  
Hero: What?  
Hero: Kel.  
Kel: ya  
Hero: You already have his number.  
Kel: no i dont  
Hero: Kel.  
Kel: srsly i dont  
Kel: h  
Kel: HUH????  
Kel: WHERE DID I GET HIS NUMBER FROM THO??? I DONT REMEMBER???  
Hero: You don't know??  
Kel: NO???  
Kel: WTF  
Kel: i am so confused and just a little bit scared  
Kel: hold on  
Kel: WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY NUMBERS ON MY PHONE  
Hero: I guess you're popular?  
Kel: NO WAY  
Kel: HALF OF THESE ARE PEOPLE THAT HATE ME  
Kel: LIKE I LITERALLY HAVE THE NUMBERS OF ALL THE PPL IN AUBREYS SCOOTER GANG  
Hero: How??  
Kel: I DONT KNOWWWW  
Kel: oh my god. i have sunnys old phone number.  
Kel: HAVE I HAD THIS THE ENTIRE TIME???  
Kel: COULD I HAVE BEEN CALLING HIM THE E N T I R E T I M E??????!?!?!?  
Kel: i think im having an aneurysm  
Hero: Are you okay??  
Kel: no  
Kel: sry hero but im eating some of the cookies now  
Kel: i need a nap  
Hero: Okay...just don't spoil your appetite.  
Hero: We're having grilled fish tonight.  
Kel: have i ever told u how much i love u bro  
Kel: bc i love u so fckn much  
Hero: Haha...I love you too, Kel.  
Hero: I'll see you when you get home.  
Kel: u 2 bro

Kel >>> Basil  
8:43 PM  
Kel: hey man i dont remember where i got ur number from but i remember ur phone blowing up like CRAZY earlier so i just wanna make sure nothin was up w that? hero was worried u were getting harrassed or smth  
Basil: AUBREY PLEASE ITS BEEN SEVEN HOURS IM NOT GIVING YOU HIS NUMBER  
Kel: what  
Basil: DONT THINK I CANT TELL WHAT YOUR DOING AUBREY.!! I WONT BE FOOLED BY A FAKE NEW NUMBER!!!!  
Kel: bro wtf  
Kel: its kel???? huh  
Basil: Kel??  
Kel: yeah???  
Basil: ....I dont belive you. PROVE IT.!  
Kel: umm uhhhh when i asked abt ur phone earlier u tried to tell me u didnt have one while i was lookin right at it  
Basil: Oh,,,  
Basil: It is you,,,,  
Basil: Sorry,,,,,,  
Kel: np man  
Kel: so wait. is aubrey bothering you again???! ffs  
Basil: No no no not its not what your thinking!!!!  
Basil: Its just um,,, she really wants Sunnys number so she can ask him something,,,,but he already knows what she wants to ask so he told me not to give it to her,,,,,,  
Basil: Shes been messaging me all day for it :((((  
Basil: Its not really a big deal though!!!! The whole thing is kinda silly,,,  
Kel: ,,,are you sure?? youd tell me if she was back to bullying you, right?  
Basil: Of course!!!! Shes actually been pretty nice to me lately!  
Kel: oh. ok  
Kel: thats good  
Kel: whend u give her ur number anyway  
Basil: Oh um I didnt,,  
Basil: Dont tell her I told you this but uhh,  
Kel: ??  
Basil: Your phone password is spacepiratehector12345  
Kel: BRO WTF NOOOOOOOO  
Kel: SHES BEEN GOING THRU MY PHONE??????  
Basil: Its a,,,really predictable password, Kel..  
Kel: just bcus its true dont mean you gotta say it :(  
Kel: ugh i guess i gotta change it  
Kel: does captainspacehector678910 sound better??  
Basil: ...  
Basil: Um. Yeah. It does.  
Kel: HELL YEAH  
Kel: thx fr letting me know btw  
Basil: ...No problem.

Basil >>> Sunny  
2:21 AM  
Basil: Please help shes still messaging me  
Sunny: grudge  
Basil: NOOOOOO


	5. FINALLY a fucking group chat. its been five fucking chapters what the HELL have i been doing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aubrey: Kel what  
> Aubrey: Dude  
> Aubrey: Kelllllll  
> Aubrey: Kelly Smelly  
> Aubrey: Wait no that insult sucked  
> Aubrey: Don't read that one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> girl help this is my seventh time trying to upload this (yes ive been counting). the fuck is a gateway and why is it bad

Aubrey >> Kel  
11:14 AM  
Aubrey: Hey hey have you guys had breakfast yet  
Kel: uhhh yeah? hero wakes up at like...stupid o clock so we have brekkie kinda early  
Aubrey: Damnit  
Aubrey: What about lunch  
Kel: nah  
Kel: i think hes getting ready to buy groceries for it tho  
Aubrey: Cool cool  
Aubrey: Ask Hero if I can come. We don't got shit here and half my gang isn't even awake rn  
Kel: wait why hero...its my house too u know  
Aubrey: Yeah well I don't give a shit abt ur opinion. Plus hes the cook not u  
Kel: tru  
Kel: k ill ask

Kel >>> Hero  
Kel: hey aubrey wants to know if she can it lunch w us  
Hero: Tell her I said of course! She's always welcome.  
Kel: k

Kel >>> Aubrey  
Kel: he said yes  
Aubrey: HELL YEA

Aubrey >>> Kel   
12:32 PM  
Aubrey: Shit I think I left my headband at ur place  
Kel: uhhhh i dont see it   
Aubrey: Dude you can barely see the fuckn exponents in our math class  
Kel: AUBREY WHAT THE FUCK IT IS SUMMER BREAK WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MATH  
Aubrey: Maybe if you talked about math more often then you'd actually be good at it  
Kel: LOW FUCKING BLOW OH MY GOD  
Aubrey: Lmao  
Aubrey: Still tho ur fuckin blind  
Aubrey: Ask Hero if he's seen my headband  
Kel: fine. demon.  
Aubrey: *noises of me beating you to death while my hooligang pops champagne bottles*  
Kel: HOOLIGANG?  
Aubrey: STFU I DIDNT CHOOSE OUR CHAT NAME OKAY ANGEL DID  
Kel: WHY DID YOU LET ANGEL CHOSE UR GC NAME  
Aubrey: It was his birthday >:(  
Kel: oh my god  
Aubrey: STFU STFU STFU  
Kel: lucky fr u hero found ur headband  
Kel: its on our coffee table when u wanna swing around n come get it  
Aubrey: YESSS MY HAIR FEELS SO WEIRD W/O IT

Aubrey >> Kel  
1:21 PM  
Aubrey: Kel  
Aubrey: Hero's a med student, right  
Kel: we have already established that yes  
Aubrey sent an image.  
Aubrey: Ask him how I'm sposed to treat this bc Vance is freakin out big time  
Kel: AUBREY WTF HAPPENED  
Aubrey: Kim.  
Kel: ah i see  
Kel: ok lemme give him my phone  
Kel: Hey Aubrey! It's Hero.  
Aubrey: I can tell lmao u two text wayyy different  
Kel: Haha, that we do.  
Kel: Now, for Kim's injury... it probably isn't too bad in actuality.  
Kel: Head wounds look worse than they are, so the first step would be to rinse the cut with some bottled water.   
Kel: If any of you have antiseptic on hand, you should use it now. If not, send someone up to the pharmacy real quick to get some. It's very important for cuts to stay clean, especially of that size.  
Aubrey: Shit we don't have any. I'll send Angel.  
Kel: Is she lucid? If you don't know, ask her some simple questions, such as what the date is and if she can recognize all of you.  
Aubrey: Lemme see  
Aubrey: Ok yeah she's definitely lucid.  
Kel: That's good. The cut is probably the only thing wrong, then.  
Kel: It doesn't look bad enough to need stitches, but if Vance is still worried, then you all can swing by. I've got some butterfly bandages that'll do the trick.  
Aubrey: Lol it's okay, Kim says she's good.  
Kel: Alright then. Just make sure there is some sort of bandage on it eventually.  
Aubrey: Yeah yeah, I will.  
Aubrey: Thx Hero  
Kel: It's no problem. I'm giving the phone back to Kel, now.  
Aubrey: Aight  
Kel: yo yo it me. what were yall even doing btw  
Aubrey: Angel bet her 20 bucks that he could backflip higher than her off the slide.  
Kel: well. can he.  
Aubrey: Hell no LMAO

Aubrey >>> Kel  
3:12 PM  
Aubrey: Kel  
Kel: yo  
Aubrey: Can you ask Hero smth for me real quick  
Kel: ohhhh  
Kel: myyyyy  
Kel: GODDDDD  
Aubrey: What's ur fucking problem  
Kel: this is like the fourth time you've asked me to get hero fr something!!!!   
Aubrey: So  
Kel: ugghhhhhh  
Kel: finnne  
Kel: what do you want  
Aubrey: I wanna try cooking tonight and make like a soup or smth  
Aubrey: But idk how to do that  
Kel: just find a recipe  
Aubrey: But what recipe do I chose!!! I need his opinion  
Kel: UGHHHHHHH  
Kel: hold on a second  
Aubrey: No need to be rude abt it asshole  
Kel: ughhh ok he says u should try making a chicken noodle soup  
Aubrey: Isn't that for sick ppl tho  
Kel: its not only for sick ppl  
Kel: have u. never had it outside of being sick  
Aubrey: No??? We save our canned soups for when we're sick so we don't have to buy any..  
Kel: WAIT HAVE U NEVER HAD HOMEMADE CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP??  
Aubrey: No???  
Kel: WOW ok then its decided ur making chicken noodle soup. ill bug hero for a recipe and send it to u.  
Aubrey: Ok??? Tell him I said thanks I guess???

Aubrey >>> Kel  
4:59 PM  
Aubrey: Kel  
Kel: aubrey.  
Kel: is this about Hero again.  
Aubrey: Maybe  
Kel: thats it im done  
Aubrey: Kel what  
Aubrey: Dude  
Aubrey: Kelllllll  
Aubrey: Kelly Smelly  
Aubrey: Wait no that insult sucked  
Aubrey: Don't read that one  
Aubrey: Ughhhh

Hero created a group chat.  
Hero added Kel and Aubrey to the group chat.  
5:08 PM  
Hero: There we go. That should save Kel the trouble of playing message boy between Aubrey and myself.  
Kel: FUCKING THANK YOU  
Kel: hey wait why didnt i think of a group chat >:o  
Aubrey: Because you're a dumbass  
Hero: You know, Aubrey, I don't know why you kept asking him to send me messages in the first place. You do have my number.  
Kel: WAIT SHE WHAT  
Aubrey: HERO NOOOOO WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM THAT  
Aubrey: I WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN  
Kel: OH MY GOD YOU ASS  
Kel: WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME DO THAT   
Kel: DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME I WASTED  
Aubrey: I like causing problems for you on purpose.  
Aubrey: It's like a hobby for me.  
Kel: ALKFDHHILSHGIHDIFHSIODHIO  
Aubrey: You brought this on urself idiot.  
Aubrey: If it was annoying you so much then why didn't you try giving me his number yourself  
Hero: That's...a very good question.  
Kel: look,  
Kel: i may be stupid,  
Hero: ...but?  
Kel is offline.  
Aubrey: OMGHAOIHGOIAHIO  
Hero: I worry about him sometimes.  
Aubrey: Same same but like  
Aubrey: The same way u worry abt the prey animals on nat geo  
Aubrey: "Well it sure is unfortunate that it is destined to die. Sad to know but amusing to watch nonetheless."  
Hero: Aubrey! Don't talk about him like he's going to die...he might not be the quickest person, but he's not a danger to himself.  
Aubrey: He made Sunny fight my entire gang with no weapon. He himself only had a fucking basketball.  
Aubrey: I use a nail bat.  
Hero: I  
Hero: Aubrey please don't tell me you hit Sunny and Kel with a nail bat.  
Aubrey: If it didn't scar it doesn't count, right  
Hero: ...  
Hero: I suddenly need to grill Kel on everything he's done since I've left for college. And maybe take him to the clinic for a check-up. And an x-ray.  
Aubrey: Make sure he's vaccinated too  
Hero: I'm sure our parents reminded him to get vaccinated...  
Hero: ...  
Aubrey: ...  
Hero: Oh my god  
Hero is offline.  
Aubrey: @Kel I s2g if you gave me a disease, I'm committing assault on you again.  
Aubrey: And also you won't be allowed to try any of my bomb ass soup.  
Aubrey is offline.

Hero >>> Basil.  
9:20 AM  
Hero: Excuse me, Basil? This is Hero. Kel gave me your number. Do you have a moment?  
Basil: Oh!!! Um Hi Hero!!!  
Hero: Hello, Basil. How are you this morning? Did you have breakfast alreadyy?  
Basil: Im good!!! I slept pretty well I think,, and all my plants looked really nice when I checked on them..!  
Basil: And yes!! I did have breakfast!!! Polly made french toast and apple slices!  
Hero: That's good. Kel tells me Polly is a very good cook.  
Basil: She is!!!  
Basil: Umm how are YOU this morning, Hero??  
Hero: I'm doing very good, thank you for asking. I made myself and Kel omelettes for breakfast.  
Basil: Sounds yummy!!!  
Hero: It was.  
Hero: Anyway, I wanted to ask you if you were free to get lunch with me later? Maybe are 12 or so?  
Hero: Kel told me some things that the two of you talked about and... I think I'm ready to talk to you and keep a straight head, if you don't mind.  
Basil: Oh, um,,,  
Basil: Sure,,, Im not busy.  
Basil: Where are we gonna eat??  
Hero: I was thinking we could maybe get something to-go from Gino's, and then go to the park or our old hideout. Somewhere neutral for both of us?  
Basil: That works for me !!! Sounds good!!  
Hero: Alright, then. I'll see you there.  
Hero: Have a good rest of your morning, alright?  
Basil: Ookay!! You too, Hero!!

Hero >>> Basil  
12:45 PM  
Hero: Did you get home okay?  
Basil: Mhm!!   
Basil: Polly said to thank you for taking me out to lunch, so thank you!!!  
Hero: Tell her it was no problem.  
Hero: And I'd like to thank you for taking the time to talk to me, especially so soon after talking to Kel. I understand this isn't very easy or pleasant for you to talk about.  
Basil: Please dont thank me,,,  
Basil: Besides its um,,, really hard to listen to for you too, isnt it,,???  
Hero: It...is.  
Hero: It's very hard.  
Hero: It's going to take me some time to really come to terms with this.  
Basil: I understand!!! Its okay!!!!  
Basil: I dont really,,, expect anyone to forgive me,,,  
Basil: Thank you for umm,, being so calm about it?? I guess???  
Hero: Thank you for being patient.  
Basil: No, thank YOU for even giving me a chance to say anything!!1!!  
Hero: Haha, I think we're going to be going in circles if we continue like this.  
Basil: Me too,,hehe,,  
Hero: You know Basil...  
Basil: Hm??  
Hero: Despite everything that's happened... You haven't really changed all that much.  
Basil: Um,,,;;;;;;  
Hero: Ah, I need to go.  
Hero: I'll take some time to think about what you've told me and talk to you...later?  
Basil: Oh uh okay!!! Goodbye Hero!!!!

Sunny >>> Basil  
5:34 PM  
Sunny sent an image.  
Sunny: finally got a picture of torothy...  
Sunny: its blurry though  
Sunny: hm.  
Sunny: actually i dont think thats torothy.   
Sunny: i think thats local.  
Basil: I thought you said you couldnt tell the difference...  
Sunny: not by sight  
Sunny: but by heart.............  
Sunny: hm............  
Basil: Hehe, youre so silly, Sunny.  
Basil: Is that Egg in the background?  
Basil: Sorry!!! *egg  
Sunny: yes  
Sunny: im thinking of getting her a brother  
Sunny: maybe........  
Sunny: gge  
Basil: Um,,,,,  
Basil: I dont,,,, uh,,,,,,  
Basil: Thats kinda,, hard to say though,,, isnt it,,,????;;;;;  
Sunny: ah  
Sunny: yes.  
Sunny: hm.  
Basil: Im sure youll think of a good name Sunny!!!  
Sunny: ty  
Basil: Haha,,,ha,,  
Basil: ,,,,  
Sunny: ??  
Sunny: are you ok  
Basil: Yyeah,,,  
Basil: Im just,,,tired,,,  
Basil: I talked to umm,, Hero today,,, and Kel yesterday,,  
Basil: About things;;  
Sunny: oh  
Sunny: hm.  
Sunny: do you want me to send you more memes  
Basil: Umm,,, those are the funny pictures right???  
Sunny: yes  
Basil: Then yes!!! Theyre really funny,.!  
Sunny: ok  
Sunny sent an image.  
Sunny sent an image.  
Sunny sent an image.  
Sunny sent an image.  
Basil: You really have a lot of these,,  
Sunny: fills time  
Sunny: better?  
Basil: Hehe yeah,, I feel better...  
Basil: Thank you Sunny :)  
Sunny: np  
Sunny sent an image.


	6. *voltron voice* we were having a BONDING moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aubrey: Hey, hey Kel,  
> Kel: huh  
> Aubrey: Nepotist.  
> Kel: tf u calling me a neopet for

<< Hero's Groupchat >>  
11:14 AM  
Aubrey: This gc name fucking sucks  
Aubrey: @Hero change the gc name  
Hero: Huh?? Is there something wrong with it?  
Kel: uh yeah its BORING  
Hero: What would I even change it to...  
Aubrey: Anything but what it is rn  
Hero: Okay...  
Hero: Um...  
Hero changed the chat's name to Everyone's Groupchat.  
Hero: Like that?  
Aubrey: No  
Kel: bro wtf thats even worse  
Hero: Sorry?? Should I try again?  
Hero changed the chat's name to Faraway Friends!.  
Hero: That's better, right?  
Kel: YEA IF UR LIKE 60 ASHGLHAH WTF  
Aubrey: Ohhhh my god  
Aubrey: You're awful at this  
Hero: Sorry...I didn't think it was that important?  
Aubrey: Ugh whatever  
Aubrey: Give me admin perms and I'll change it myself  
Kel: what  
Kel: no  
Kel: give ME admin perms  
Hero: Huh.  
Aubrey: Who the hell would trust you with admin perms???  
Kel: people whos name begins with an h and is my older brother  
Kel: now gimme gimme the permie permies  
Hero: Um.  
Aubrey: Do NOT give him the admin permissions. No.  
Kel: and why should u have them instead of me???  
Aubrey: Bc I'm actually responsible and mature and have a reading level higher than Pre-K?  
Kel: W  
Kel: OUCH?  
Hero: Uh.  
Aubrey: Don't think I've forgotten our sixth grade social studies project.  
Kel: its a fucking groupchat aubrey not a school project  
Kel: why r u making such a big deal out of this!!! tf  
Aubrey: Well why are you!!!!! God!!  
Kel: bc its HEROS chat and IM his brother so NATURALLY i deserve to be admin  
Aubrey: Hey, hey Kel,  
Kel: huh  
Aubrey: Nepotist.  
Kel: tf u calling me a neopet for  
Hero: Guys.  
Aubrey: DUMBASS WTF  
Kel: what!!!!  
Aubrey: THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULDN'T BE ADMIN  
Kel: WHAT!!!!!  
Kel: IF ANYTHING THIS SHOWS U SHOULDNT BE ADMIN SEEING AS U MISSPELLED FUCKING NEOPETS  
Aubrey: YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID OH MY GODDDD  
Kel: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT  
Hero: GUYS.  
Kel: HERO.  
Hero: Yes??  
Kel: PLEASE tell aubrey that if shes going to try and call me a neopet as an insult she should at least spell it right  
Kel: that lack of self awareness def shows an inability to be admin  
Kel: wouldnt u agree  
Hero: Well,  
Aubrey: Hero, dude, will you please tell this brainless monkey that I'm not calling him a fucking neopet.  
Aubrey: No one's even used neopets in fucking YEARS. How tf are you gonna be admin if you don't know basic vocabulary.  
Aubrey: BTW you should bring back enforced reading time at ur house, for his sake.  
Hero: The thing is,  
Kel: DONT YOU FUCKING DARE BRING THAT BACK  
Kel: THAT WAS THE BANE OF MY ELEMENTARY LIFE  
Aubrey: KEL YOU DUMB FUCK I BET YOU WERE THE SOLE FUCKING REASON THEY EVEN HAD ENFORCED READING TIME  
Aubrey: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT NEPOTISM IS  
Kel: WELL EXCUSE ME FOR NOT BEING IN AP BIOLOGY OR WHATEVER THE FUCK  
Aubrey: B I O L O G Y ??????  
Hero: God.  
Hero: .  
Hero: .  
Hero: .  
Hero: .  
Hero: .  
Hero: .  
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Hero: .  
Kel: bro wtf,,  
Aubrey: Hero??  
Hero: If you two are done fighting. I've been trying to say something.  
Kel: o shit my bad  
Aubrey: Oops.  
Aubrey: Go ahead dude, we're done  
Hero: Thank you.  
Hero: Now.  
Hero: What are admin permissions?  
Aubrey: ...  
Kel: ...  
Aubrey is offline.  
Kel is offline.  
Hero: ????? What?????

Sunny >>> Basil  
12:21 PM  
Sunny: what your favorite color  
Basil: Hi Sunny!!!  
Basil: Ummm i guess my favorite color is like,,,a teal green???  
Sunny: teal or green  
Basil: If I had to pick one,,, uh,,, green!!!  
Sunny: ok  
Sunny: whats your favorite type of music  
Basil: I dont really,,,listen to music that much,,  
Basil: If I do I just listen to whatevers on the radio!!  
Sunny: hm.  
Sunny: pop, then  
Basil: Haha!! I guess!!!  
Sunny: whats your favorite animal  
Basil: Hm.....Cats!!!  
Sunny: ok  
Sunny: if you had to commit a crime what would it be  
Basil: Huh  
Sunny: if you had to commit a crime what would it be  
Basil: I;;;  
Basil: Wouldnt???;;;;;  
Sunny: no  
Basil: What??  
Sunny: if you had to commit a crime what would it be  
Basil: Um.  
Basil: I dont. Know??? What???  
Sunny: hm.  
Sunny: vandalism.  
Basil: Vandalism???  
Sunny: yes  
Sunny: ok  
Sunny: if you were locked in a room with a serial killer, a person thats only killed once but it was someone very very close to you, your abusive ex, and a gun with only one bullet, who would you shoot  
Basil: WHAT  
Sunny: dont make me type it out again  
Basil: UMM  
Basil: ?????Basil: WhY???? Are you asking????  
Sunny: answer the question  
Basil: But why???!????  
Sunny: answer  
Basil: Um,,,,,  
Basil: Uhhh,,,,,  
Basil: Thats,,,kinda a hard question?? Um...,,,  
Basil: The,,,serial killler i guess?? Because theyre more dangerous!!!! They might hurt everyone!!!!!  
Sunny: you dont like the rest of the people though  
Basil: Well,,, yeah,,,but still!!!!! If we all get out and I shot someone else,,, theyre more likely to go back to killing!!!!  
Sunny: i see  
Sunny: ok  
Basil: Sunny um,,,, where are all these questions coming from???  
Sunny: hm.  
Sunny: i disagree.  
Basil: What??? Huh???  
Sunny: i dont think youre undyne  
Sunny: i think youre....asriel  
Basil: Sunny please Im begging you,,,  
Basil: What are you talking about,,,,,  
Sunny: personality quiz  
Basil: Oh,,  
Basil: Oh!!!!  
Basil: You were trying to get my result, then!!!!  
Sunny: yes  
Basil: Ohhh haha,, well you couldve said something earlier!!!!  
Sunny: sorry  
Basil: Its ok!!!!  
Basil: But um,, what do you mean that you dont think Im "undyne"???  
Sunny: which undertale character are you  
Basil: Whats undertale???  
Sunny: ,  
Sunny: call me  
Basil: ????? Ok?????

Kel >>> Basil  
1:04 PM  
Kel: basil dude i need ur help  
Kel: heros an old man and i refuse to put up with it  
Kel: if u help me with this then ill like. uh  
Kel: idk i was gonna say i would buy u smth but ive bribed aubrey like four times this week and im broke af  
Kel: i guess ill just owe u lol  
Kel: basil?? u good??  
Kel: o ur prolly doin plant shit arent u  
Kel: doin hot girl shit haha  
Kel: that was the least funniest thing ive ever said and i apologize  
Basil: Kel????  
Kel: HI BASILLLL :DDDD  
Basil: Hi Kel!!!!  
Basil: Sorry I didnt reply, Sunny was showing me something and we got kinda carried away,,,  
Kel: word  
Kel: wait u got his number??  
Basil: Yeah!!! I gave him mine before he left!! Weve been talking since then!  
Kel: sweet  
Kel: how is he btw  
Basil: He told me he stayed up all night taking personality quizzes,,, but other than that I think hes been doing okay!!!  
Kel: yep that sounds like him lolol  
Kel: ANYWAY i wanted ur help w smth  
Kel: a master plan, if u will  
Basil: Um ok!!! You said it had something to do with Hero???  
Kel: YES omg idk how hes surviving college hes so STUPID  
Kel: ok so basically he made a gc for me aubrey and him bc aubrey was being a shit  
Kel: and he is SO SO SO SO bad at naming things like an actual person its embarrassing to share blood w him  
Kel: so aubrey n i asked him to make one of us admin so we could change it ourselves (and fought over it bc i deserve to be admin and she doesnt) but he DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT ADMIN PERMS ARE  
Kel: i explained it to him earlier bc like i said. embarrassing.  
Kel: BUT NOW HE WONT MAKE ME ADMIN!!!!  
Kel: and thats when i thought of a sexy sexy plan to make me one  
Basil: Um. Wait. This whole thing is about??? A groupchat name???  
Kel: u dont understand basil. he named it faraway friends. fucking FARAWAY FRIENDS. it hurts my eyes to read.  
Basil: I dont see anything wrong with that,,,,its a cute name!!!!  
Kel: look man u dont gotta get it just help me please ill love u forever  
Basil: Um,, okay!!  
Kel: SWEET THANK YOU  
Basil: Haha yeah!!!

Basil >>> Sunny  
Basil: SUNNY HELP WHAT ARE ADMIN PERMS!!!!1!!!  
Sunny: oh no

Kel >>> Basil  
Kel: dw dude u dont gotta do much  
Kel: the heavylifting is allll on my end  
Basil: Ok!!! So whats the plan??  
Kel: ok so. first i steal heros phone  
Basil: What!! Do you even know his password,,,  
Kel: dw man he hasnt changed his password since i was like 11  
Kel: even if he did he puts it in around me all the time. hes not rly careful w his password  
Basil: .......Mhm.  
Kel: the fact that u felt like u had to type that out instead of just ignoring it is what hurts the most  
Kel: ANYWAY MOVING ON  
Kel: next i go into his messages and add u to the gc  
Kel: and i know u 2 talked or wtvr so he wont be like pissed when he sees u in there i think  
Kel: then i give u admin perms  
Kel: THEN u give ME admin perms from ur side  
Kel: eezy peezy  
Basil: Um,,,, couldnt you just give them to yourself from Heros phone???  
Kel: omg shut up w ur LOGIC and EFFICIENCY  
Kel: were having a bonding moment here man  
Kel: bsides theres nothing fun abt being smart  
Kel: were in cahoots.  
Basil: Cahoots??  
Kel: yeah man nothin funner than being in cahoots  
Kel: causing mischeif  
Kel: scheming  
Kel: uhhh whats another word for it  
Basil: Conniving??  
Kel: HELL YEAH MAN WERE CONNIVING!!!  
Kel: so u with me or what!!!  
Basil: Um,,,  
Basil: Are you sure Hero wont get mad??  
Kel: its a fckn group chat man if hes so uncomfy w u in there then ill just make a new one (and not give him admin perms as payback)  
Basil: Well,,,  
Basil: Ok then!!!  
Kel: THATS WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!  
Kel: OPERATION: GIVE KEL THE ADMIN PERMS HE DESERVES IS A GO!!!!  
Basil: Yeah!!!!!  
Kel: ok imma go. ill give u a signal when i got the goods  
Basil: Ill be ready and waiting!!!! >:)  
Kel: >:)!!!!!

Basil >>> Sunny  
Basil: If I die its Kels fault  
Sunny: ill let ms polly know 

Hero >>> Basil  
1:47 PM  
Hero: WE IN THE CLEAR BABEY!!!!!  
Hero: GET READY!!!  
Basil: Aye aye!!!! Haha!

<< Faraway Friends! >>  
Hero added Basil to Faraway Friends!.  
Hero made Basil an admin.  
Aubrey: Hero what???  
Hero: owo  
Aubrey: WTF  
Aubrey: CURSED CURSED CURSED  
Hero: FUWAHAHAHAHAHA  
Hero: BASIL GO GO GO  
Basil: On it!!1!  
Basil made Kel an admin.  
Hero: FUCKKKK YEAHHHHHH  
Aubrey: You've gotta be fucking kidding me.  
Hero: i kid not my dear aubrey >:)))))  
Aubrey: Why would you force Basil to help you like this.  
Hero: hey who says im forcing him!!! were conniving!!!!  
Hero: isnt that right basil???  
Basil: Yyeah!!!! Were conniving!!!  
Aubrey: Im going to conknife both of you.  
Aubrey: Well maybe not Basil I'm still not convinced ur not blackmailing him somehow  
Hero: that is very rude and hurtful  
Aubrey: You're rude and hurtful  
Hero: >:o  
Aubrey: Oh my god stop stop stop it  
Aubrey: Don't use emojis with Hero's handle it's awful I hate it  
Hero: >:3C  
Aubrey: IM GOING TO MURDER YOU  
Aubrey: YOU LITTLE  
Aubrey: .  
Aubrey: Heh.  
Hero: what???  
Aubrey: Heheheheheh.  
Hero: uh oh  
Aubrey: Hey Basil :)  
Basil: Yes/??  
Aubrey: Look behind you buddy :)  
Basil: WHAoytaoyegiu  
Hero: BASIL???  
Hero: BASIL YOU GOOD????  
Basil: :)  
Hero: AUBREY WHAT DID YOU DO  
Basil took away Kel's admin permissions.  
Basil made Aubrey an admin.  
Hero: NOOOOOOOOOO  
Hero took away Aubrey's admin permissions.  
Hero made Kel an admin.  
Basil took away Kel's admin permissions.  
Basil made Aubrey an admin.  
Hero took away Aubrey's admin permissions.  
Hero made Kel an admin.  
Basil took away Kel's admin permissions.  
Basil made Aubrey an admin.  
Hero took away Aubrey's admin permissions.  
Hero made Kel an admin.  
Basil took away Kel's admin permissions.  
Basil made Aubrey an admin.  
Basil: This is getting stupid.  
Hero: yea it rly sihgtyw8eythas  
Basil: Did you fucking die or smth  
Basil: OH SHIT DOES THAT MEAN I WIN??  
Hero took away Aubrey's admin permissions.  
Hero took away Basil's admin permissions.  
Hero: Aubrey.  
Basil: Oh fuck  
Hero: Give Basil his phone back. Now.  
Basil: Yes sir  
Basil: Hero Im sorry!!!!!!  
Hero: It's okay, Basil. I'm not mad at you.  
Hero: Aubrey and Kel, on the other hand...  
Aubrey: Sorry,,,,  
Hero: Well, if I'm being honest, I'm not mad at you two either.  
Aubrey: Oh thank god  
Hero: I am, however, extremely disappointed.  
Aubrey: WHAT NO THAT'S WORSE  
Hero: I know.  
Hero: :)  
Aubrey: I have never feared a smiley face more.  
Hero: This had better not happen again, understand?  
Aubrey: IT WON'T IT WON'T  
Basil: Yeah!!! It wont!!!  
Hero: Alright then.  
Hero: By the way, Kel's grounded for the night.  
Hero is offline.

Sunny >>> Basil  
5:29 PM  
Sunny: are you dead  
Basil: No,, but I think Kel might be,,  
Sunny: rip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i realized at the same time basil did that kels plan was srupid but wtvr. king of bad ideas i guess.
> 
> also if u want some angst. the reason hero hasnt changed his password is bc its maris birthday :) ur welc


	7. malewife hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kel: hes a med student, aubrey. a med student. do you know how stressed his daily life is.  
> Kel: i called him once during finals week and when i mentioned my allowance he started crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can we all have a moment of silence for the word doc of convos for future chapters. it was like three chapters worth of content and the bitch got corrupted ＿|￣|○

Aubrey >>> Sunny   
1:29 PM  
Aubrey: Hello my favorite hetcomp  
Sunny: ..?  
Aubrey: It’s Aubrey.  
Aubrey: I took Basil’s phone off him the other day and got your number.  
Sunny: oh  
Sunny: hello  
Aubrey: Yeah, hi,  
Aubrey: ANYWAY  
Aubrey: I wanted to ask you something :)  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: WTF YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’M ASKING  
Sunny: suspicious  
Aubrey: God I want to call you an ass for that so bad but you really do have a point  
Aubrey: IT’S NOT BAD I SWEAR  
Sunny: …continue  
Aubrey: Ok ok so.  
Aubrey: That picture you sent Basil. You drew it.  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: Yes you did. Shut up.  
Aubrey: Will you draw me something.  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WANT YOU TO DRAW THOUGH  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: Please  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: Please  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: Please  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: What if I pay you  
Sunny: 1k  
Aubrey: WTF NO  
Sunny: 2k  
Aubrey: UM??? STILL NO????  
Sunny: 3k  
Sunny: final offer  
Aubrey: Sunny I’m not giving you three thousand dollars to draw Hero in a wedding dress.  
Sunny: ah.  
Sunny: $0.00  
Aubrey: OMG REALLY  
Aubrey: I probably should have led with that huh  
Aubrey: Anyway I actually went online for like two hours looking for the Right Dress for you to draw him in  
Aubrey sent a picture.  
Aubrey: Think you can pull it off?  
Sunny: i think im too short for that one  
Aubrey: I MEANT DRAWING IT NOT WEARING IT FFS  
Sunny: then yes  
Aubrey: Thank you I love you  
Sunny: np  
Sunny: i need a picture of hero too though  
Aubrey: O shit yeah  
Aubrey sent a picture.  
Aubrey: Here ya go  
Sunny: ty

Aubrey >>> Hero  
Aubrey: :)  
Hero: Oh no.  
Hero: What are you doing to Kel this time?  
Aubrey: Nothing :)  
Hero: I don’t like that.  
Aubrey: :)

Hero >>> Kel  
Hero: What are you two doing.  
Kel: wut  
Hero: You and Aubrey. What are you doing.  
Kel: n...nothing??? i havent even seen her today. ive been basketting the balls.  
Hero: Yeah. Sure. Let's say I believe that.  
Kel: bro would i lie to u  
Hero: Without hesitation.  
Kel: u dont have to call me out like that   
Kel: but im not lying this time!!! i dunno what shes doin  
Hero: Hm...  
Hero: Hm.  
Hero: Very well.

Hero >>> Basil  
Hero: Whatever Aubrey's asked you to do, don't do it.  
Basil: Huh???   
Basil: Does she,, want me to do something???  
Hero: Really? She hasn't asked you for any odd favours today?  
Basil: No,,, Im running errand for Polly today anyway, so even if she did I would have to say no,,  
Hero: Hm...  
Hero: Hm.........  
Basil: Hero???  
Hero: Alright. Fine. Thank you anyway, Basil.  
Basil: Youre,,,welcome?? I think???

Hero >>> Aubrey  
Hero: What. Are. You. Planning.  
Aubrey: ;))))))))  
Hero: You're killing me here.  
Aubrey: Die <3

Kel >>> Aubrey  
3:06 PM  
Kel sent a picture.  
Kel: what are you doing to this poor man  
Aubrey: LMAOOO WHAT IS HE DOING  
Kel: STRESS BAKING  
Kel: I JUST CAME HOME FROM THE PARK AND IT LITERALLY SMELLS LIKE THE CAKE AISLE IN OTHERMART X10  
Aubrey: ADSHGIAOHSDGHALHSG OMG  
Kel: he asked me what "we" were planning a few hours ago  
Kel: WHAT DID YOU DO  
Aubrey: That's for me to know and you to find out :)  
Kel: aubrey  
Kel: think about who ur hurting here  
Kel: hes a med student, aubrey. a med student. do you know how stressed his daily life is.  
Kel: i called him once during finals week and when i mentioned my allowance he started crying.  
Aubrey: OMG WAIT REALLY  
Kel: YES  
Kel: HE CRIED FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES  
Aubrey: Isn't he the responsible one tho??? How tf is he broke  
Kel: um  
Kel: i dont think hes in a state of mind to be asked smth like that rn  
Kel: which brings me back to my original point  
Kel: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!  
Aubrey: Bonding  
Kel: with who????  
Aubrey: :)  
Kel: why are you like this  
Aubrey: It's fun :)  
Aubrey: Not like you'd understand u mama's boy  
Kel: WHAT THE FUCK  
Aubrey: MAMA'S BOY  
Kel: NO IM NOT!!!!!!  
Kel: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!  
Aubrey: Fine then. Daddy's boy.  
Kel: that is infinitely worse please never say those words ever again  
Aubrey: :)  
Aubrey: Daddy's boy :)  
Kel: i hate you i hate you i hate you  
Kel: i dont care what ur doing to hero anymore i need a shower  
Aubrey: ADGSLAKJGDKLAJL

Aubrey >>> Sunny  
4:39 PM  
Aubrey: Hey u almost done yet??  
Aubrey: It's been like three hours  
Sunny: what  
Aubrey: Sunny, dude, it's like a quarter till five...  
Sunny: oh  
Sunny: so it is  
Aubrey: ...well are you????  
Sunny: what  
Aubrey: OH. MY. GOD.  
Aubrey: Are you almost done???  
Sunny: almost  
Sunny: finishing touches  
Aubrey: Oooooh can I see??  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: What   
Aubrey: Why not  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: That's not an answer asshole  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: Okay ykw I was willing to accept u being quiet n shit irl bc u haven't talked to anyone in like years but you DO know that you can use full sentences when texting, right  
Sunny: yes  
Aubrey: Well. Are you?  
Sunny: hm  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: I don't remember you being this fucking rude when we were kids  
Sunny: i was  
Sunny: i just whispered it to mari instead of saying it to you guys  
Aubrey: Is. Is that why she always started cracking up whenever we were doing literally nothing. Bc you kept making quips abt us.  
Sunny: yes  
Aubrey: Wow.  
Aubrey: So um. Uh.  
Aubrey: About Mari.  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: I'm not asking to talk about it right this moment  
Aubrey: I just wanna say something  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: I don't rly think ur in the position to just say no, dude  
Sunny: i havent slept in two days. i dont want to think about anything resembling what happened  
Aubrey: Y  
Aubrey: YOU HAVEN'T SLEPT IN TWO DAYS?  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: WHY THE FUCK  
Aubrey: HAVEN'T YOU SLEPT  
Aubrey: IN TWO DAYS?  
Sunny: um  
Aubrey: SUNNY WHAT THE FUCK  
Sunny: slime rancher  
Aubrey: What.  
Sunny: slime rancher  
Aubrey: What the fuck is that  
Sunny: ranch slimes  
Aubrey: DON'T BE A SMARTASS   
Aubrey: Is that a video game or something???  
Sunny: yes  
Aubrey: You mean to tell me. You've been up for two days straight. Playing video games.  
Sunny: video game  
Sunny: one  
Aubrey: You've been up for two days straight playing A SINGLE VIDEO GAME?  
Sunny: yes  
Aubrey: Are you like. Okay??  
Sunny: tired  
Aubrey: WELL GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY  
Aubrey: After you finish this picture you're going STRAIGHT to bed  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: And why the fuck not?  
Sunny: slime rancher  
Aubrey: ...  
Aubrey: That's it. I'm getting Basil.  
Sunny: if you do im not giving you the picture  
Aubrey: YOU WOULDN'T DARE  
Sunny: try me  
Aubrey: You are a dirty bastard. Fuck you.  
Aubrey: Fine. I'm not telling Basil.  
Aubrey: Just hurry up and finish the fucking picture.  
Sunny: success  
Aubrey: I hate you

Sunny >>> Aubrey  
4:58 PM  
Sunny sent a picture.  
Sunny: done  
Aubrey: WAHIGODHAOS8HDGOIH  
Aubrey: WHAT THE FUCK DUDE  
Sunny: huh  
Aubrey: WHY IS THERE SO MUCH DETAIL. WHY DID YOU GO SO HARD WITH THE SHADING. WHAT THE FUCK.  
Aubrey: YOU'VE GOT A WHOLE ASS BACKGROUND WTF EVEN IS THAT  
Sunny: sweethearts search for hearts finale  
Aubrey: None of those words make sense  
Aubrey: Whatever. I actually feel kinda bad not paying you for this now.  
Sunny: 3k  
Aubrey: Never mind be broke and starve

<< Faraway Friends! >>  
Aubrey: @Everyone :)  
Aubrey: I have a gift for our one and only Hero :)  
Basil: Oh??  
Hero: Oh no.  
Kel: sigh  
Aubrey: BEHOLD  
Aubrey sent a picture.  
Hero is offline.  
Aubrey: COWARD @HERO COME BACK  
Kel: OMGGAGHHIOIHIOREHGHAHSDOHG WHAT  
Basil: Oh!!   
Kel: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH DUDE  
Kel: @Hero COME BACK HERE PLS PLS PLS  
Aubrey: If he wants to run and hide then let him. We all have his number anyway  
Kel: omg ur right  
Kel: we can just spam him w this   
Basil: I dont see why hes so embarrassed anyway!!!! I think its very pretty!!!  
Aubrey: Yeah fr I'm kinda jealous  
Aubrey: Like I know it's not a real picture but he pulls it off soooo well  
Kel: do you think i could pull off a dress like that. be honest.  
Aubrey: My heart says no but my eyes also say no  
Kel: :(  
Basil: Dont worry Kel!!! I think youd look very nice in a dress!!!  
Kel: ty basil ur the only bitch i respect around here  
Aubrey: God are you being serious  
Kel: when am i not  
Aubrey: You sure you want an answer to that  
Kel: no  
Kel: but i AM willing to try anything once  
Aubrey: Omg what  
Aubrey: I mean if you rly want I could let you borrow one of my old dresses...  
Kel: do u rly think any of them would fit me  
Aubrey: U right  
Aubrey: ...They'd probably fit Basil tho  
Basil: What  
Kel: omg they would  
Kel: now that i think abt it basil would look rly good in a dress actually  
Basil: Hhuh????  
Aubrey: OMG UR SO RIGHT  
Aubrey: That's it, it's official. This weekend you boys are coming over to my house and I'm throwing dresses on you.   
Aubrey: Kel I guess I'm willing to buy you one or two that'll actually fit  
Kel: dw ill pay u back  
Basil: Wait a minute!!! Huh???  
Aubrey: What.  
Kel: does is like,,, make u uncomfy??  
Basil: No!! But,,, why???  
Kel: 1. itll remind hero of the picture and hell get embarrassed 2. itll be fun 3. i kinda do rly wanna see what i look like in a dress  
Aubrey: 4. I will take any chance I get to boss you two around  
Kel: lol yea  
Basil: Um,,, I guess Im okay with it,,,  
Basil: Sure!!!  
Kel: HELL YEAH NOW ITS A PARTY  
Kel: OMG WAIT if were rly doing this then why not go all the way  
Kel: lets make this a dress-up slumber party  
Aubrey: I don't think my house is physically capable of housing slumber parties  
Kel: u right  
Kel: i could try askin my parents but tbh im not sure how theyd react to this kinda thing  
Kel: uhhh basil?  
Basil: Um,,, well Polly would be fine with this just because Im inviting friends over at all,,,  
Basil: But uh,,, are you two,,, comfortable?? Spending the night at my place?? Again?  
Aubrey: If we all pile into ur room I think I'll be fine  
Kel: same  
Kel: if ur fine w that anyway  
Basil: Sure!!! Thats fine!!!  
Aubrey: SWEET  
Aubrey: OH WAIT YEAH THAT REMINDS ME  
Aubrey: Basil.  
Basil: Yyeah??  
Aubrey: Sunny told me he hasn't slept in two days.   
Basil: WHAT???  
Kel: wait wut  
Basil: That Sunny >:(((((  
Basil: Wait,,, howd he tell you??  
Aubrey: I found his number in ur phone lol  
Basil: Hey!!!  
Basil: Sigh,,,, I thought that art style was familiar,,,  
Basil: Thank you for telling me Aubrey!!!! Ill make sure he goes to bed pronto!!!!  
Basil is offline.  
Kel: uve been talkin to Sunny?  
Aubrey: I mean I literally only first messaged him today but yeah  
Aubrey: You got a problem with that  
Kel: not rly but like  
Kel: you DO realize hero can see these right  
Aubrey: Ok and?  
Aubrey: HEY HERO IF YOU'RE READING THIS AND GETTING PISSY THEN FUCK OFF. GET OFF OUR DICKS.  
Kel: :////  
Aubrey: If he can handle us joking around with Basil here in the gc then he can handle me bringing up talking to Sunny for the sole purpose of forcing him to go to bed  
Aubrey: He's an adult, Kel, and he can damn well act like one  
Kel: ughhhhhhh ur right ur right  
Aubrey: I'm always right  
Kel: even when we were in fifth grade and you made that science project about the biggest fish in the ocean and included whales  
Aubrey: FUCK YOU KEL  
Kel: ur not the only one that can bring up old school projects lol  
Aubrey is offline.  
Kel: DOESNT FEEL SO GOOD NOW DOES IT

Sunny >>> Aubrey   
10:31 PM  
Sunny: betrayal  
Aubrey: Go back to sleep.  
Sunny: ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes aubrey is a lesbian. if ur on omori tumblr then uve prolly seen the john mulaney "i think aubreys a lesbian" meme. that was me and i stand by what i said
> 
> that said i think my nb kel hc came thru a little but whatever <3 its my fic and i get to choose the kel


	8. i havent actually watched teen beach movie so im not sure if that simile is correct but from what i DO know about teen beach movie it SOUNDS correct so whatevewhatever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hero: So...  
> Hero: Sunny drew that picture?  
> Aubrey: Are we about to have a normal conversation or am I going to need to hit you with my bat  
> Hero: Please don't.

<< Faraway Friends! >>  
7:42 AM  
Hero: You guys are the bane of my existance. I hate every single one of you. Never message me again.  
Hero: Go to hell.

10:31 AM  
Kel: BRO WHAT??? OUCH?  
Basil: Hhuh?,??;;  
Aubrey: LMAO HE FINALLY SNAPPED  
Kel: WE HAVENT EVEN DONE ANYTHING YET TODAY WTF  
Hero: Hm? What are you guys talking about?  
Basil: Heroo,,, ddo you really hate us???;;;?? :(  
Hero: Huh???  
Hero: Oh my god.  
Hero: Wrong chat.  
Kel: OHHHHHH LASHDGIOHASIDHGOIH  
Basil: Oh,,, thats a relief!!  
Aubrey: Ok but who was that even meant for??  
Hero: Oh, just my brunch group from college.  
Kel: ASHDGOIAHIODHGIH  
Kel: BRUNCH GROUP???  
Aubrey: Oh my god. You are literally a middle aged white woman  
Hero: I resent that, Aubrey.  
Kel: also aubrey dont u have brunch w ur like friends all the time  
Aubrey: No I don't???  
Kel: ive literally seen u guys tho  
Aubrey: No?? thats just lunch???  
Hero: It's only brunch if you've already had breakfast and are still planning to eat lunch, actually.  
Aubrey: It's only brunch if you've already had breakfast and r still planning to eat lunch??  
Aubrey: ,  
Hero: Oh! Haha!  
Kel: LMAO AHDOIASHGGHI  
Kel: U TALK LIKE THE WHITE LADY  
Aubrey: Kel. Wherever you are. You better fucking not be if you know what's good for you.  
Aubrey is offline.  
Basil: What,,,does that mean,,??  
Kel: i think that means shes coming to beat me up lol  
Kel: unfortunately for her ive yet to leave the house and can lock the doors :)  
Hero: I'm pretty sure I gave her a spare key, actually..  
Kel: FUCK  
Kel is offline.  
Hero: Oh dear...  
Basil: Um,, Hero?  
Basil: What did your college friends even say for you to get so um,,, angry??  
Hero: Sigh...  
Hero: Two of them were spamming the chat with very...suggestive...images of Tony the Tiger while the rest of us were asleep.  
Basil: The,,, the cereal cat???  
Hero: Yes. The cereal cat.  
Basil: Are,,, are all college students like that??  
Hero: No...I'm just unlucky, I guess. They're not usually this bad, but sometimes......  
Basil: Well!! I promise not to be like that when Im in college then!!!  
Hero: Thank you, but I'm afraid Aubrey has already made a habit of sending me the strangest pictures.  
Basil: Ill!!! Just have to send you really nice pictures to counteract it, then!!!!  
Hero: Thank you......

Basil >>> Sunny  
11:15 AM  
Basil: Good morning, Sunny!!!!  
Sunny: good morning  
Basil: You slept all night, I hope???  
Sunny: :/  
Basil: Uh oh, that doesnt sound good,,,  
Basil: Did you not sleep well,,,???  
Sunny: no  
Basil: Oh no!!!!  
Basil: Im sorry :(((  
Sunny: not your fault  
Sunny: mine  
Basil: Um,, how is it,, your fault??  
Sunny: twelve year olds are sore losers  
Basil: Did you  
Basil: Did you fight a twelve year old???;;  
Sunny: yes  
Sunny: but also no  
Basil: Huh????  
Sunny: 'fight' isnt the right word  
Sunny: more like...  
Sunny: hm....  
Basil: Sunny. What did you do to the twelve year old.  
Sunny: you know teen beach movie  
Basil: I,,, I guess????  
Sunny: there you go  
Basil: Um,,,, what???  
Basil: Im,,, not sure how that applies??? To anything???  
Sunny: dont think too hard  
Sunny: just go with it  
Basil: Um....okay..?  
Basil: Well!!! Uh!!!  
Basil: Since you didnt sleep well, you should probably take a nap later today!!!!  
Basil: Have you had breakfast yet???  
Sunny: ah  
Sunny: no  
Basil: Sunny!!!! You need to eat breakfast!!!  
Basil: Its very important!!!!  
Sunny: ok  
Basil: Good!!! And then take a nap, okay??? NO VIDEO GAMES!!!  
Sunny: ok  
Basil: :)!!!!  
Sunny: um  
Basil: Hm???  
Sunny: could you call me later  
Sunny: two ish  
Sunny: in case my alarm doesnt wake me up  
Basil: Sure!!!!!

Hero >>> Aubrey  
12:11 PM  
Hero: So...  
Hero: Sunny drew that picture?  
Aubrey: Are we about to have a normal conversation or am I going to need to hit you with my bat  
Hero: Please don't.  
Aubrey: Begging only makes it more satisfying  
Hero: I'm not here to fight, Aubrey. I promise.  
Aubrey: Ugh you better not be  
Aubrey: I haven't had the chance to talk to him abt anything either so idk what you want me to tell you  
Hero: You haven't?  
Aubrey: Not really  
Aubrey: He told me he didn't wanna talk abt it  
Aubrey: And yanno I WOULD'VE pushed it but then he also said he hadn't slept in two days and I thought forcing the issue would've been cruel even for me at that point  
Hero: I see.  
Hero: And, actually, that's why I brought it up.  
Hero: Did he tell you why he was awake for so long?  
Aubrey: He said he was playing a video game  
Hero: ...seriously?  
Aubrey: THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT TOO  
Hero: Are you sure he was being honest?  
Aubrey: Idk man talking to him is like pulling teeth  
Aubrey: And I seriously can't tell if he's like that on purpose or if he's just that bad at talking to people  
Hero: It's hard to imagine him being difficult on purpose...I'm sure he's just not used to talking to people, yet.  
Hero: Do you think he's...doing okay?  
Aubrey: Tbh if Basil's not doing too great then I can't imagine Sunny is  
Aubrey: And yesterday I saw Basil pruning with a pair of kitchen scissors instead of his shears, so  
Hero: I see...  
Hero: Um...Aubrey? Do you think you could give me his number? I really do want to make sure he's taking care of himself.  
Hero: I know he has Basil, but Basil can be a bit of a...er...  
Aubrey: Push-over? Doormat? Wuss?  
Hero: Um. Yes.  
Aubrey: Dw pot I won't tell kettle you said that  
Hero: Aubrey!  
Aubrey: Haha lol  
Aubrey: But sure I'll give you his number  
Hero: Thank you, Aubrey.  
Aubrey: Np  
Aubrey: You know ur taking this a lot better than expected  
Hero: I know, I know...You were right, though. It is pretty exhausting being angry at them all the time. Especially since it's so easy to worry about them, too. It's likely I'll find myself angry again at some point, but I think it would be better if I just let it come and go instead of trying to hold onto it.  
Hero: And...I'm a bit ashamed to have given Kel the impression that you all need to walk on eggshells around me regarding this stuff.  
Aubrey: Well as long as u know it was a problem  
Aubrey: Bsides at least he learned how to have tact  
Aubrey: Sorta  
Aubrey: Kinda  
Aubrey: Maybe  
Hero: Just a little.  
Hero: Still, thank you for being patient with me. It means a lot.  
Aubrey: Ughhh don't get all sappy with me  
Aubrey: U were pretty patient too I guess when I was being a bitch so whatever  
Aubrey: Even's even  
Hero: Haha, whatever you say, Aubrey.

Hero >>> Sunny  
1:12 PM  
Hero: Hello, Sunny. It's Hero. Aubrey gave me your number.  
Sunny: hlo  
Hero: ...Sunny?  
Sunny: good morning  
Hero: ...It's well past noon.  
Sunny: so it is  
Hero: Did you...just wake up?  
Sunny: yes  
Sunny: i took a nap  
Hero: Oh!  
Hero: Okay, that's good.  
Hero: Aubrey did say you seemed to be having trouble sleeping.  
Sunny: she told you too...  
Hero: She told everyone, actually.  
Sunny: anger......  
Hero: Um. Yes.  
Hero: Well, I just wanted to make sure you were taking care of yourself. I've been a bit worried.  
Hero: How long have you been having trouble sleeping?  
Sunny: yes  
Hero: I. See?  
Hero: Have you been eating alright?  
Hero: Three meals a day, not only eating junk food, etc?  
Sunny: hm.  
Hero: ...  
Hero: Are you...going to answer the question?  
Sunny: no  
Hero: ...Alright.  
Hero: Have you at least been getting out more often? Even just half an hour in the sun a day can do wonders for your health.  
Sunny: i open the window sometimes  
Sunny: does that count  
Hero: ...Do you do it while it's day out?  
Sunny: no  
Hero: Then no.  
Hero: Sunny, you should really start taking better care of yourself, especially with how long you stayed inside your old house.  
Hero: You should at the very least be going outside and getting some sun. I'm a bit worried for your immune system.  
Hero: You could start by taking walks in the morning or late evening; That way, you can get some sun while excersising at the same time. If you pick the time right, there won't even be any people to bother you.  
Sunny: i excersise  
Hero: Oh? You do?  
Sunny: ddr  
Hero: Dance Dance Revolution doesn't count as an excersise regiment.  
Sunny: it does if youre good enough  
Hero: Sorry, but I don't think you're quite good enough for it to count.  
Sunny: offense  
Hero: That aside, I know for a fact you didn't own a DDR machine before you moved, and I highly doubt you own one now.  
Sunny: the machine is in my mind, i can play anywhere anytime  
Hero: That. Aside.  
Hero: Is there anything else you do, or used to do, that you consider excersise?  
Sunny: fist fighting the shadows every time i want a midnight snack  
Hero: I'm gonna take that as a no.  
Hero: I meant it, Sunny. You should take better care of yourself. I worry about you.  
Hero: I'm not above getting your mom's number and telling her about your habits.  
Sunny: if i was a furry i would be growling at you  
Hero: Um  
Hero: W  
Hero: What?  
Hero: A...furry??  
Hero: What's that???  
Sunny: ah  
Sunny: hm  
Sunny: i have made a mistake.  
Hero: Huh???  
Sunny: ask someone that is not me  
Hero: Why???  
Sunny: no  
Hero: Um??? Okay...  
Hero: Moving on from...that...  
Hero: Can you promise me that you'll at least get some more sun? It doesn't have to be very much - Just a few minutes a day, if you can. Please?  
Sunny: ok  
Hero: Good! Thank you very much.  
Sunny: np  
Hero: I'll talk to you later, Sunny. Try not to skip any meals, okay?  
Sunny: ok  
Hero: I know there's a lot we haven't talked about yet, but I do care about you and Basil. I really do want the two of you to live as happily and healthily as you can.  
Hero: It was good talking to you, Sunny. I mean it.  
Sunny: ok

Sunny >>> Basil  
Sunny: im awake  
Basil: Ah!! Good afternoon, Sunny!!!  
Basil: Was your nap good, at least???  
Sunny: better  
Basil: That's good!!!!  
Basil: Don't forget to eat lunch soon, okay??? Or at least get a snack!!!  
Sunny: ok  
Sunny: ..you too  
Basil: Huh?  
Sunny: you  
Sunny: um  
Sunny: ...  
Basil: ???  
Sunny: concern  
Sunny: take care of yourself too  
Basil: Oh,,, are you worried about me,,??  
Sunny: ..yes  
Basil: Oh....  
Basil: Uhm,, well,, thank you...  
Basil: But!!! You dont need to worry about me!!! Ive been taking care of myself, promise!!!  
Basil: If I wasnt, Im pretty sure Aubrey would beat me up again,,, haha,,,,  
Sunny: hm.  
Sunny: hm...  
Sunny: ok  
Sunny: i trust you  
Sunny: im going to eat now  
Sunny: bye  
Basil: OH uh,,,,  
Basil: Bbye Sunny!!! Hope its tasty,,...  
Sunny: wait. also.  
Basil: Hm?  
Sunny: if hero texts you.  
Sunny: ignore it.  
Sunny: do not even look at what he said just delete the notification.  
Basil: Um. Why?  
Sunny: the burden of knowledge is a heavy weight you do not need to bear  
Basil: What...  
Sunny: its for your own good  
Sunny: ok bye  
Basil: Ok...?

<< Faraway Friends! >>  
2:42 PM  
Hero: I just remembered something...  
Hero: Do any of you know what a "furry" is?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to me this chapter is less funny and more filler because there were certain tidbits that were kinda hard to build up to 🤔 but idk maybe u just find it boring bc ive read and edited it like a hundred times


	9. the title for this chapter in my files doesnt actually fit the content but i thought it was funny anyway so its gonna be in the notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aubrey: WHO TAUGHT YOU THOSE WORDS  
> Basil: The,,, internet???  
> Basil: Im 16???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *enters blackspace* damn bitch i live like this?

<< Faraway Friends! >>  
12:32 PM  
Aubrey: Does Ms. Polly count as a milf? Discuss.  
Kel: hey aubrey what the fuck  
Kel: also yes btw   
Aubrey: Really? You think she's a milf?  
Kel: hell yeah  
Aubrey: Does that mean you want to fuck her?  
Kel: WHAT  
Kel: I NEVER SAID THAT  
Aubrey: You called her a milf tho...and you were pretty damn certain so   
Kel: UM YOU WERE THE ONE THAT ASKED???  
Kel: AND JUST BC I AGREE SHES A MILF DOESNT MEAN I WANNA FUCK HER WTF  
Kel: I JUST MEAN LIKE. SHE FITS THE CRITERIA.  
Aubrey: The criteria of her being a mom you'd want to fuck?  
Kel: NOOOOO LIKE   
Kel: OTHER PEOPLE MAN OTHER PEOPLE WOULD WANNA FUCK HER  
Aubrey: What other people tho  
Kel: uhhhhh micheal prolly  
Aubrey: Whomst  
Kel: you know who im talking about man  
Aubrey: I know no Micheals  
Aubrey: All I know is my good friend The Maverick  
Aubrey: (who's name btw isnt even spelled micheal, it's mikhail)  
Kel: WAIT FR  
Kel: THATS HOW ITS SPELLED?  
Aubrey: YES???   
Kel: OH MY GOD AHGAOIHG  
Kel: IVE BEEN SPELLING IT WRONG MY ENTIRE LIFE OMG  
Aubrey: HE LITERALLY LIVES DOWN THE STREET FOR YOU HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW THAT  
Kel: I DONT KNOWWW  
Aubrey: Ugh your dumbassery aside  
Kel: hey  
Aubrey: You actually do have a point  
Kel: WOAH I DO?  
Aubrey: Unfortunately yeah  
Aubrey: The Maverick would totally be dtf Ms. Polly  
Basil: What,,,  
Kel: OMG BASILG ASHDGOIAHSOIGHOH  
Aubrey: BASIL JUST THE MAN I NEED  
Aubrey: SHES UR MOM OK I NEED UR OPINION  
Aubrey: DOES MS. POLLY COUNT AS A MILF  
Basil: Um.  
Basil: I dont. Know?  
Kel: aubrey why would u ask him that  
Kel: its basil i doubt he even knows what a milf is  
Aubrey: Wait shit ur right  
Aubrey: Basil pls pls pls don't google what a milf is I don't need that on my conscious  
Basil: Guys,,,   
Basil: I know what it means,,..  
Kel: haha sure   
Kel: dw bro whatever u think it means is prolly what it means. u dont gotta search it up haha  
Basil: It means "mom Id like to fuck." Its a porn category...  
Kel: W  
Aubrey: BASIL  
Aubrey: WHO TAUGHT YOU THOSE WORDS  
Basil: The,,, internet???  
Basil: Im 16???  
Aubrey: ...  
Kel:...  
Basil: ...you guys forgot I was sixteen didnt you,,,  
Aubrey: Um  
Kel: i plead the fifth  
Basil: :(  
Kel: FUCK NO IM SORRY  
Aubrey: SORRY BASILLLLL  
Basil: :(((  
Basil: Anyway! :)  
Basil: I dont think Polly would count as a milf,,??? Shes not really my mom,,,,  
Aubrey: Hm hm interesting point  
Kel: ughhhhalhf i thought we were PAST THIS  
Aubrey: Not until we get Hero's input  
Aubrey: And maybe Sunny's  
Kel: whyyyyy  
Aubrey: I can't ask my gang bc none of them have met her and I feel like it would scew the results if the idea of her being a milf is already implanted into their minds  
Kel: why do u wanna know so bad thooo  
Aubrey: Reasons  
Kel: hmmmmmm....  
Kel: aubrey... do YOU think shes a milf?  
Aubrey: Um  
Basil: Do you want to fuck my mom, Aubrey?  
Kel: LDKHFGSLHDFIGOSIHSOIDHGOI HIOSFD   
Aubrey: FUCK OFF YOU JUST SAID SHE WASN'T YOUR MOM  
Basil: Yeah but,, YOU think she counts as my mom,,  
Basil: And youre avoiding the question!!!  
Kel: YEAH AUBREY UR AVOIDING THE QUESTION  
Kel: DO U WANNA FUCK BASILS MOM  
Aubrey: I don't have to answer this  
Kel: UR THE ONE THAT BROUGHT IT UP  
Kel: REAP WHAT U SOW   
Aubrey: I DON'T WANT TO FUCK HER OKAY I'M JUST CURIOUS  
Kel: WHY ARE YOU SO CURIOUS  
Aubrey: I JUST AM OKAY!!!!!  
Aubrey: GET OFF MY DICK!!!  
Kel: youve burned ur bridge. now lie in it.  
Aubrey: THAT'S NOT HOW THE SAYING GOES YOU DUMB FUCK  
Aubrey: STRINGBEAN FAILING MATH WORST FUCKING SHOT ON THE BASKETBALL TEAM LOOKING SHITBAG  
Kel: its too late aubrey not even insulting me is going to get u off the hook  
Aubrey: FUCK  
Aubrey: UHHHH  
Aubrey: BASIL TELL ME ABOUT PLANTS.  
Kel: lol like THATS gonna work  
Basil: Did you know that trees will take nutrients from anything it can find in the dirt? Cadavers, dead plants, scraps...anything! In fact, police once tracked down the body of a man to have been buried under a tree, and when they dug it up they found that the tree's roots had moved to cover the corpse so thorougly that the roots were in the shape of the body itself! Interesting, right?? :D  
Kel: hey basil what the fuck  
Aubrey: I take it back. I would prefer the milf talk.  
Kel: owo  
Aubrey: Never fucking mind I'm leaving and never talking to you guys again  
Kel: COWARD  
Aubrey: Die

Aubrey >>> Hero  
Aubrey: In your Adult Opinion, does Ms. Polly count as a milf?  
Hero: Aubrey I am begging to god. I stayed out of the chat for a reason. Do not drag me into this.  
Aubrey: Pussy

Aubrey >>> Sunny  
Aubrey: Hey do you think Ms. Polly counts as a milf  
Sunny: depends  
Sunny: does she see herself as basils mom?  
Sunny: if no then shes just a lady, not a mom  
Aubrey: Hmm a very good point  
Aubrey: Damn tho I can't ask her  
Sunny: why not  
Aubrey: "Oh Hey Ms. Polly! Quick question, I know that HE doesn't see you as a parental figure, but would you consider yourself a mother towards Basil? I'm trying to decide if you're a milf."  
Sunny: yeah like that  
Aubrey: Don't you have social anxiety  
Aubrey: WHY would you be okay asking this poor woman that  
Sunny: i used up all my anxiety at the hospital  
Sunny: i no longer fear any social interactions in any capacity  
Aubrey: You know what. That's fair.  
Sunny: good luck btw  
Aubrey: ...with what??  
Sunny: fucking ms polly  
Aubrey: GOD FUCKING DAMNIT

Kel >>> Aubrey  
4:51 PM  
Kel sent an image.  
Kel: what does this make you feel  
Aubrey: How long have you spent making this  
Kel: longer than im proud of tbh  
Aubrey: Does Basil know you're using a picture of his not-mom to edit onto badly made milf domme porn captions  
Kel: ...no  
Aubrey: What are you willing to pay to ensure he doesn't find out :)  
Kel: im spending the rest of my allowance keeping you quiet arent i  
Aubrey: Yep :)  
Kel: i honestly dont know what i was expecting

Basil >>> Hero  
3:28 AM  
Basil: Ssunnty  
Basil: sunyy PLese wkke up  
Basil: plAesim sryyr  
Hero: Basil?! What's wrong?  
Basil: ssnny ?,  
Hero: No, this is Hero..  
Basil: o h,  
Basil: msory i  
Hero: No, it's fine. What's wrong? Are you ok?  
Hero: Are you hurt?  
Basil: nno ic  
Basil: i cnta brerthe  
Hero: I'm gonna call you, ok?

3:42 AM  
Hero: Do you feel any better?  
Basil: yes....  
Basil: im sorry for waking you up;;;;  
Hero: You meant to text Sunny, right?  
Basil: yeah....  
Basil: i have you both as emergency contacts on my phone though...so your numbers are right next to each other....  
Hero: It's ok. I'm happy to help.  
Hero: What happened?  
Basil: its silly....you shouldnt worry about it....  
Hero: It's my job to worry about you kids. Besides, if it gave you a panic attack like that, then it obviously isn't silly to you.  
Basil: what if it was just a nightmare about all plants everywhere becoming carnivorous  
Hero: ...Well.  
Hero: Um.  
Hero: It's certainly a...frightening concept.  
Basil: sure is! imagine the kind of diet a carnivorous tree would have!  
Basil: or worse, having to walk through a lawn of carnivorous grass!  
Hero: I would. Rather not imagine that.  
Basil: haha yeah...  
Basil: it um...was actually just a nightmare though...  
Basil: um. not about plants, though.  
Hero: A nightmare?  
Basil: yeah...like i said. its silly.  
Hero: Basil, I can personally vouch for nightmares never being 'silly.'  
Hero: What was it about, if you don't mind me asking?  
Basil: ...  
Basil: you um. dont want to know.  
Hero: ...It's about 'that', isn't it.  
Basil: ...yeah.  
Hero: I see.  
Hero: Tell me about it anyway.  
Basil: huh  
Hero: As much as I would hate to hear it...I don't want you to just keep this stuff bottled up.  
Hero: I won't say anything callous. I...probably won't say anything at all, honestly.  
Hero: Just... go ahead and get it out.  
Basil: um...if youre sure...  
Hero: I'm not, truthfully. But go ahead.  
Basil: okay...well...  
Basil: it started out at the stairs...right before it..happened...  
Basil: and uh....i think ive told you before? how at the time, i didnt want to believe sunny really did it...so i convinced myself that there was something standing behind him...  
Basil: well um.. something was there... and it was about to make him um.do it.  
Basil: then i had my garden shears and i was going up the stairs to stop it... and i attacked it...  
Basil: but then it was sunny instead...aand i was  
Basil: ,,  
Basil: i killed him.,,.  
Basil: in the dream i ddint feel bad about it thouhg,...  
Basil: i was relieved actualy.,..  
Basil: and then we were all outside,....  
Basil: he was in the ttree  
Basil: and mari was there...she was tying a rope around my neck..  
Basil: i couldnt breathe,,,  
Basil: umm and dthen i.,,, woke up  
Basil: thts um,,   
Basil: thats it.  
Basil: ;;;  
Hero: ...  
Hero: Hm...Basil?  
Hero: Can I ask you a question?  
Basil: umm,,,, sure?  
Hero: When you say that there was "something behind him"... Was that simply a concept of some sort you thought up, or did you actually see something?  
Hero: Even in our talk the other week, you spoke as if this "something" was a real thing...  
Basil: well uh,,,  
Basil: i dont really,,,remember if i saw it in the actual moment,,,  
Basil: but i saw it after...  
Basil: it would cover the floor...and try to eat me....  
Basil: mine did anyway...sunny hasnt told me a lot about his...  
Hero: ...So the two of you had different..."somethings"?  
Basil: mhm.  
Basil: i saw his during our fight...at least i think it was his? it mightve looked different to him but...i dont think so...  
Basil: his followed him around...always hovering behind him... staring at him...  
Basil: i dont know if it did anything else though...  
Hero: I see.  
Hero: And it was something you absolutely, definitely saw?  
Basil: well um,,  
Basil: i mean,, yes??  
Basil: ii know its not real though!!!! well i know now anyway;;  
Basil: it really feels real sometimes though...  
Hero: ...I see....  
Hero: Well, I...apologize for prying like that. You've had a stressful enough night.  
Basil: its fine,,,  
Hero: If you say so.  
Hero: Will you be alright for the rest of the night, or would you like me to stay up with you?  
Basil: you dont have to do that!! ill be fine.  
Hero: Are you sure?  
Basil: mhm!  
Hero: Alright then...  
Hero: Goodnight, Basil.  
Basil: goodnight hero!


	10. the one where aubrey multiclasses as both tsundere and mom friend (and also basil gets adopted i guess)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aubrey: ...  
> Kim: ...  
> Vance: ...  
> Angel: ...  
> Charlie: ...  
> THE MAVERICK: ...  
> Aubrey: Ok.  
> Aubrey: So.  
> Aubrey: What the fuck was that.  
> THE MAVERICK: VANCE FUCKING COCKBLOCKED ME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones a lil different but i think its also the longest chapter yet so *shrugs* win some ya lose some

Kim >>> Aubrey  
11:21 AM  
Kim: ey yo boss we got a code NMC  
Aubrey: WTF IT'S NOT EVEN NOON  
Aubrey: Didn't we have one the other day!?  
Kim: that was a NMC-M, this one's a NMC-A  
Aubrey: Ughhhhh  
Aubrey: You'd think after the first time you bit one of them they'd learn not to take ur fucking candy  
Aubrey: Alright, I'll deal with it  
Kim: i could kiss you  
Aubrey: Gay  
Kim: caught me

Aubrey >>> Charlie  
Aubrey: Cha Cha Slide where u at  
Aubrey: And by that I mean where's Angel at  
Charlie: The Hideout  
Aubrey: Cool  
Aubrey: Make sure he can't run off, I gotta kick his ass real quick for Kim  
Charlie: NMC?  
Aubrey: UGH YES  
Charlie: Oh... Well...  
Aubrey: What did he do to.  
Charlie: He swam out to the statue...  
Aubrey: Let me guess. He still had the candy on him.  
Charlie: He still has it...  
Aubrey: Fuckkk  
Aubrey: Little shit   
Aubrey: I'll tell Kim  
Aubrey: Make sure he doesn't leave though bc I'm still kicking his ass  
Charlie: Ok.  
Aubrey: AND FFS DON'T LET HIM EAT THAT SOGGY ASS CANDY

Aubrey >>> Kim  
Aubrey: Bad news. It's soaked in lake water.  
Kim: NOOOO  
Kim: i'm gonna kick angel's ASS i s2g  
Kim: he's just salty i can backflip better than him  
Aubrey: Hell yeah you can  
Aubrey: Dw tho I'll get you some more  
Kim: FOR REAL???  
Aubrey: Yeah lol Kel owes me like 2 months worth of shit at this point  
Kim: free candy AND scamming kel outta money? best day ever  
Kim: but waiiitttt why does he owe you so much stuff...  
Aubrey: Because he's stupid and comes up with bad plans and is always desperate for help  
Kim: yep sounds like him  
Kim: why do you hang out with those losers anyway  
Aubrey: Kel n Hero are stupid easy to make fun of  
Aubrey: And Basil's not actually a loser he's just trying his best  
Kim: he's kinda a baby tho  
Aubrey: Oh yeah definitely a baby  
Aubrey: He's still cool tho  
Aubrey: Cooler than Kel at least LMAO  
Kim: PFFFF anyone's cooler than kel  
Kim: it's a low bar  
Aubrey: Believe it or not, he used to be worse  
Kim: no wayyyy  
Aubrey: He used to steal my stuff and make fun of me for having "cooties"  
Kim: HE BELIEVED IN COOTIES AT AGE 12?  
Kim: THAT IS SO FUCKING LAME.  
Kim: ugh i wanna go bully him now  
Aubrey: HEY >:(  
Kim: yeah yeah no bullying ur buds i know  
Kim: he's still lame and gross tho  
Aubrey: Ugh yeah

THE MAVERICK >>> Aubrey  
1:03 PM  
THE MAVERICK: Hello my darling Aubrey ;)))  
Aubrey: Sup  
THE MAVERICK: You wouldn't happen to know where your friend Basil is, would you?  
Aubrey: ...why  
THE MAVERICK: He grows flowers, no?  
THE MAVERICK: I would like to buy some from him.  
Aubrey: Who r u tryina romance this time...  
THE MAVERICK: I'm not sure what her name is...but she is truly beautiful ;)  
Aubrey: Sad  
THE MAVERICK: ;(((  
Aubrey: Whatever man u do u I guess  
Aubrey: Basil's at his house rn I think  
Aubrey: Be nice to him aight and if I think ur underpaying him I'm kicking ur ass  
THE MAVERICK: I wouldn't dream of it ;)

<< HOOLIGANG >>  
2:15 PM  
THE MAVERICK: @Everyone I have an announcement to make.  
Kim: this oughta be good  
Vance: fr?  
Angel: WHAT IS IT  
Charlie: ..?  
Aubrey: Oh lord  
THE MAVERICK: I have come to the conclusion that I am, in fact....  
THE MAVERICK: Bisexual ;)  
Angel: YOOOOOOOOOO  
Vance: nice  
Charlie: b  
Kim: NOOOO U WERE OUR TOKEN STRAIGHTIE  
THE MAVERICK: Au contraire, I am not straight at all ;)))  
Aubrey: I'm gonna regret asking this  
Aubrey: How'd you figure it out  
THE MAVERICK: I have heard the voice of an angel...dewdrops shone in his eyes, the flutter of birdwings in his laugh...and like the vines of an oh so sweet honeysuckle, infatuation took root in my heart.  
Aubrey: Basil infodumped to you about plants didn't he  
THE MAVERICK: Yes ;)  
Kim: ASLDHGOIAHDIOGHSOIHDGOIHOI  
Vance: aint that the blonde kid that wears a sweater despite it bein like ninety degrees out...  
Angel: OH I KNOW THAT KID  
Angel: HE IS KINDA CUTE ISNT HE  
THE MAVERICK: Yes...I will admit it... I am weak to a pretty face ;)  
Aubrey: Mav. Look at me.  
Aubrey: Use any of your usual tricks on him and I'll break your fucking spine.  
Aubrey: Got it?  
THE MAVERICK: But of couse ;)  
Charlie: He's the kid that gardens a lot, right...?  
Charlie: I like flowers...  
Angel: YEAH CAN WE MEET HIM TOO  
Kim: why do YOU wanna meet him  
Angel: I GOTTA DUEL HIM TO MAKE SURE HES RIGHT FOR MASTER  
Aubrey: How about you DON'T do that if you want to continue breathing :)  
THE MAVERICK: Yes, my noble ward...there is no need for that...  
Angel: FINEEEE  
Angel: CHARLIE STILL WANTS TO MEET HIM THOUGH  
Aubrey: Charlie can meet him because I think he'd appreciate talking to someone that actually knows what plants are  
Aubrey: The rest of you stay the hell away :)  
Vance: why cant we meet em  
Aubrey: Because you're all degenerates and you'll be a bad influence   
Aubrey: Except for you, Charlie. You're an angel and we're delighted to have you here.  
Kim: ya that's fair  
THE MAVERICK: Charleene truly is better than all of us ;)  
Vance: ya def  
Angel: CANT ARGUE WITH THAT B) SHES THE BEST  
Charlie: Thank you...  
Aubrey: I'll dm you his address Charlie <3

Angel >>> Aubrey   
3:11 PM  
Angel: HEY AUBREY WHENS OUR NEXT MOVIE NIGHT GONNA BE   
Aubrey: Idk man  
Aubrey: Why   
Angel: CHARLIE JUST CAME BACK FROM TALKING TO BASIL  
Angel: SHE SEEMED TO REALLY LIKE HIM  
Angel: SHE HAD HER HAPPYNEUTRAL FACE  
Aubrey: I knew they'd get along  
Aubrey: How's that related to movie night tho  
Angel: WE COULD INVITE HIM TO MOVIE NIGHT  
Aubrey: I already said I don't trust yall around him  
Angel: WED ALL BE FOCUSED ON THE MOVIE THOUGH  
Angel: NO CHANCE FOR SHENANEIIGNS  
Angel: SHENANIGINS  
Angel: SHENAGAINS  
Angel: FUCK  
Aubrey: Shenanigans?  
Angel: YEAH THAT  
Angel: THINK ABOUT ITTTT  
Aubrey: Hmmmm  
Angel: ALSOALSO HES LIKE KINDA SCARED OF ALL OF US TOGETHER RIGHT  
Aubrey: A little yeah but he's also scared of like. Asking for refills at Gino's so.  
Angel: WELL IF WE PICK THE RIGHT KIND OF MOVIE THEN HE'LL LIKE GET MORE COMFORTABLE AND WONT BE SO SCARED OF US  
Angel: THATS GOOD RIGHT  
Aubrey: I'm gonna regret this but  
Aubrey: I'll ask him if he's down  
Angel: FUCK YEAHHH

Aubrey >>> Basil  
Aubrey: Basil buddy for ur own good I hope u say no but would u be down for movie night w/ me and my friends  
Basil: Um,,,, I mean,,,  
Basil: I know Charlie and Maverick came to talk to me today,, and were nice and everything,,,  
Basil: But I dont think the rest of your friends like me very much,,,  
Aubrey: Okay multiple things  
Aubrey: 1. Mav's name is The Maverick u gotta use the full title  
Basil: Oh!! Okay!! Sorry!!  
Aubrey: Nbd  
Aubrey: 2. If he pulls any shit on u then tell me so I can kill him to death  
Basil: He seemed friendly enough but,, okay!!!  
Aubrey: 3. Thank you so fucking much for appreciating Charlie she is the best person alive and everyone should love her  
Basil: Youre welcome!!? Shes really nice !  
Aubrey: Hell yeah she is  
Aubrey: And finally  
Aubrey: 4. The only reason they messed with you was bc I was mad at you  
Aubrey: Like literally the only reason I'm asking you to come is bc they want to meet you on better footing  
Basil: Oh!!!  
Basil: Really???  
Aubrey: Regrettably yes  
Aubrey: Please say no I don't trust them not to corrupt you  
Basil: Well um,,,  
Basil: It actually sounds like it would be fun,,!!  
Basil: It wouldnt be too bad for me to come,, would it??  
Aubrey: That's a yes isn't it  
Basil: Mhm!!  
Aubrey: FUCK 

Aubrey >>> Angel  
Aubrey: GODDAMMIT HE SAID YES  
Angel: SWEEEEEET SWEEEEEET SWEEET VICTORRRYYYYY YEAHHHHHHH  
Aubrey: Shut the fuck your up

<< HOOLIGANG >>  
Angel: AYOOOOOO @EVERYONE WE GOT OUTSELVES A PLUS ONE FOR MOVIE NIGHTTTT  
Aubrey: Dumbass the @ doesn't work if it's all caps  
Angel: BUT LOWERCASE RUINS THE VIBE AUBREY  
Aubrey: Whatever  
Aubrey: @Everyone We're all gonna have a movie night sometime this weekend so everyone pick out a movie to bring  
Aubrey: Do NOT bring any serious horror or weird shit because Basil is coming with us and if any of you scare him I will Actually Commit A Murder  
Vance: lmao alright  
Charlie: Ok...  
THE MAVERICK: I see...an opportunity arises ;)  
Aubrey: I am going to break every bone in your body slowly and painfully  
Vance: are we using me n kim's house?  
Aubrey: No, we're using Angel's house because this whole thing was his idea and so HE can cater  
Aubrey: Charlie u don't gotta help him a bit ok ur innocent in this  
Angel: THATS FAIR  
THE MAVERICK: Angel, my dear pupil...could it be you are playing wingman for moi? ;)  
Aubrey: Die  
Angel: TBH I WASNT EVEN THINKING ABOUT YOU MASTER I JUST WANTED REALLY WANTED TO WATCH A MOVIE AND MEETING BASIL SEEMED LIKE A GOOD EXCUSE  
Kim: holy shit i can't believe angel is valid for once...wtf  
THE MAVERICK: It is fine Angel...If I am to woo the beautiful forest nymph, I must do so with my own ability ;)  
Kim: i think i miss when you were straight  
Kim: WOW i hated saying that i think i'm going to vomit  
Aubrey: I think I want to vomit just by reading that  
Aubrey: Never say that shit ever again Kim I s2g  
Kim: u don't gotta tell me twice....ew  
Charlie: Um...so when are we having movie night...?  
Aubrey: I'm thinkin maybe Friday night  
Aubrey: I'll check in w Basil later to make sure but it's def gonna be around then  
Charlie: Ok...  
Charlie: I'll make sure we have enough snacks....  
Aubrey: I am in love with you  
Kim: marry me charlie  
Vance: id kill and die for you  
Charlie: Haha......  
Angel: WE SHOULD LIKE HAVE A PARTY ONE DAY JUST FOR CHARLIE  
Angel: I THINK SHE DESERVES IT  
THE MAVERICK: Agreed ;) It will truly be a beautiful day ;)  
Aubrey: I am marking it on my calendar as we fucking speak  
Aubrey: Charlie Appreciation Day  
Aubrey: It'll be like if Christmas and Valentine's Day had a baby but JUST for Charlie  
Kim: i second this  
Vance: thirded  
Charlie: :)

<< HOOLIGANG >>  
3:21 PM  
Aubrey: @Everyone I've confirmed w/ Basil that he's good for Friday, so everyone remember to pick APPROPRIATE movies by then, aight?

<< HOOLIGANG >>  
2:43 PM  
Aubrey: @Everyone Movie night's in two day! FYI

<< HOOLIGANG >>  
1:38 PM  
Aubrey: Movie night is TOMORROW @Everyone so be ready

<< HOOLIGANG >>  
12:06 PM  
Angel: MOVIE NIGHT IS TO-FUCKING-NIGHT @EVERYONE BE THERE OR BE SQUARE  
Kim: how many times do we gotta tell you @Everyone doesn't fucking work in all caps  
Angel: BUT KIM  
Angel: THE VIBES  
Kim: ur vibes are ugly and u should be ashamed  
Angel: NO U  
Kim: SQUARE UP KID  
Angel: SHORTSTACK  
Kim: OH THAT'S IT IM KICKING YOUR ASS WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU  
Vance: @Aubrey  
Kim: TRAITOR  
Angel: TATTLE-TALE  
Aubrey: Children.  
Aubrey: Make up before I break up (your bones from each other)  
Kim: whatever  
Angel: FINE  
Aubrey: Good :)

5:37 PM  
Charlie: @Everyone  
Charlie: Everything is ready...  
Charlie: You can come over with your movies now...  
Aubrey: Have I ever told you how much I love and cherish you  
Charlie: Yes...  
Aubrey: WELL TOO BAD BC I'M TELLING YOU AGAIN  
Aubrey: I love and cherish you <3 You are too good for us  
Charlie: Thank you.......

5:51 PM  
Aubrey: Basil is here.  
Aubrey: Behave.  
Angel: OKIE DOKIE  
Kim: fineee  
Vance: aye aye  
Charlie: Ok...  
Aubrey: Oh no, that wasn't directed at you, Charlie.  
Aubrey: It was, however, directed twice as hard at The Maverick :)  
THE MAVERICK: Why, Aubrey...you wound me....  
THE MAVERICK: I would never act any less than a gentleman around our dear guest...  
Aubrey: That's what I'm afraid of  
Aubrey: Just tone it down a few fucking notches ok?  
THE MAVERICK: As you say ;)

10:12 Pm  
Aubrey: ...  
Kim: ...  
Vance: ...  
Angel: ...  
Charlie: ...  
THE MAVERICK: ...  
Aubrey: Ok.  
Aubrey: So.  
Aubrey: What the fuck was that.  
THE MAVERICK: VANCE FUCKING COCKBLOCKED ME  
Kim: GOOD. YOU DESERVE TO BE COCKBLOCKED  
Vance: IT WASNT ON PURPOSE DUDE I SWEAR  
THE MAVERICK: BULL FUCKING SHIT  
Vance: NO SERIOUSLY ANGEL HIT ME AND KNOCKED MY DRINK OUTTA MY HAND  
Angel: IN MY DEFENSE FROZEN 2 IS A GOOD FUCKING MOVIE AND INTO THE UNKNOWN FUCKING SLAPS  
Kim: YOU'RE RIGHT BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO WHACK EVERYONE TRYIN TO FOLLOW THE CHOREOGRAPHY  
Kim: UR ELBOWS ARE BONY AS FUCK YOU ASS  
Angel: WTF DO MAPS GOTTA DO W THIS  
Vance: ANGEL...WHAT  
Kim: SFHGKLSDHFGLSDHFG  
Kim: DUMBASS!!!! CLINICALLY STUPID!!!! IDIOT FUCKER!!!!!  
Angel: TALK TO ME WHEN YOU GROW A COUPLE INCHES SHORTIE  
Kim: OH IT'S ON YOU SHIT SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR KNEECAPS  
Kim: YOU'RE LITERALLY NOT EVEN THAT MUCH TALLER THAN ME YOU'RE LIKE THE SECOND SHORTEST OUT OF ALL OF US  
Angel: STILL TALLER THAN YOU  
Kim: FUCK OFF  
Aubrey: @Everyone SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I REVOKE THE GINO'S BUDGET FOR THE WHOLE FUCKING MONTH  
Vance: thats cold...  
THE MAVERICK: But fair...  
Aubrey: You bet your asses it's fair.  
Aubrey: Now.  
Aubrey: Are you all done acting like a bunch of Kels?  
Kim: ughhhhhh......  
Kim: yeah  
Angel: YEAH  
Aubrey: Good.  
Aubrey: BTW @Charlie I'm not mad at you for any of this, if the Gino's budget get's revoked you can still have some :)  
Charlie: Thank you....  
Aubrey: Np  
Aubrey: Now then.  
Aubrey: All of you devil's spawns better consider yourself blessed by Jesus fucking Christ himself because he messaged me saying he actually thought the whole Thing was pretty funny  
Aubrey: And that all-in-all he had a pretty great time.  
Angel: YAYYY  
Charlie: That's good....  
THE MAVERICK: It seems I have been bestowed a second chance.... ;)  
Kim: go get your wig pulled of again  
THE MAVERICK: YOU.  
Kim: but anyways that's kinda a relief, basil actually seems   
Kim: uhhhh  
Kim: i was gonna say he seemed pretty chill but like. he's not  
Aubrey: Oh not even a little bit  
Aubrey: I'm under the impression he's been in the middle of a really drawn out anxiety attack for years now  
Kim: yeah same  
THE MAVERICK: It would be an honor if I could find a way to...calm him down ;)  
Aubrey: I'm going to castrate you  
Kim: kinky  
Vance: kinky  
Angel: KINKY  
THE MAVERICK: Kinky ;)  
Aubrey: I hate all of you (charlie excluded)  
Aubrey: Die  
Aubrey: AND GO TO BED  
Aubrey: But mostly die  
Kim: lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: the only relationship being canon here or whatever is the hero/mari thing okay the thing with the maverick isnt serious hes just Like That and basil doesnt even notice him anyway lol
> 
> LMAO ANYWAY YEAH i just wanted to clarify that there will be No Noncanon Ships here bc i would just make everyone poly and then i would confuse myself trying to keep track (and also romance isnt the focus here but wtvr)


	11. grief and mourning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kel: I AM NAMING MY SECOND BORN CHILD AFTER YOU  
> Basil: ...Thank you,,???  
> Aubrey: Don't you mean first born  
> Kel: no that one is firmly saved for orange joe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES i just uploaded a chapter yesterday. YES this one is way shorter than that one. i AM a dumb bitch.

Sunny >>> Aubrey   
1:34 PM  
Sunny: aubrey  
Aubrey: What’s up  
Sunny: bunny  
Aubrey: Um  
Aubrey: What  
Sunny: bunny  
Aubrey: What in the hell are you talking about  
Sunny: bunny  
Aubrey: ??? Ok????  
Aubrey: What about them??  
Sunny: yours  
Aubrey: ???  
Aubrey: What about my bunny?  
Sunny: picture  
Aubrey: You  
Aubrey: Want a picture???   
Aubrey: Of my bunny???  
Sunny: yes  
Aubrey: Uh…okay??  
Aubrey sent a picture.  
Aubrey: There.  
Sunny: more  
Aubrey: More…pictures???  
Sunny: yes  
Aubrey: ???  
Aubrey sent a picture.  
Aubrey sent a picture.  
Aubrey sent a picture.  
Aubrey: That good??  
Sunny: more  
Aubrey: Okay that’s it  
Aubrey: Why the fuck do you need so many pictures of my rabbit  
Sunny: torothy  
Aubrey: …..what  
Sunny: gone  
Aubrey: FOR FUCK’S SAKE can you PLEASE use more than one word  
Sunny: torothy’s gone  
Sunny: 2 words  
Aubrey: I am going to beat you to death  
Aubrey: I’m not giving you ANY more pictures of Bun-Bun until you explain yourself  
Aubrey: USING ACTUAL SENTENCES  
Sunny: the wild rodent that has been habituating within my living area, given the moniker torothy – a portmanteau of names tom and Dorothy – by myself as a show of affection, has recently been discovered by my own maternal guardian and hence removed from the premises permanently and with much brutality, thereby leaving me in a state of misery and mourning. thus, i request that you give to me photographs of your own animal companion, so that i may stave off the ever-present grief following the loss of my dear friend.  
Aubrey: You could not have sounded like more of a smartass if you tried. Like I’m almost impressed.  
Aubrey: Ok so if I’m understanding correctly, you’re sad that your mom killed a mouse?  
Sunny: yes  
Aubrey: Wow.  
Aubrey: Um…sorry for your loss?  
Sunny: bunny  
Aubrey: I’m trying to give you emotional support you asshole  
Sunny: no ty  
Sunny: bunny  
Aubrey: WHAT AM I, CHOPPED FUCKING LIVER?  
Sunny: yes  
Sunny: bunny  
Aubrey: FFS FINE  
Aubrey sent a picture.  
Aubrey: HAPPY NOW?  
Sunny: can I name him  
Aubrey: He already has a name.  
Sunny: can you buy another bunny for me to name  
Aubrey: No.  
Sunny: sadness

<< Faraway Friends! >>  
3:12 PM  
Kel: OKAY   
Kel: WHO THE FUCK  
Kel: TOUCHED MY SECRET STASH OF ORANGE JOE  
Aubrey: Your fucking what  
Kel: THE BOX OF ORANGE JOE IVE KEPT HIDDEN UNDER MY DRESSER FOR FUCKING YEARS  
Kel: ITS GONE  
Aubrey: Good riddance that sounds fucking disgusting  
Kel: FUCK YOU  
Kel: @Hero DID YOU DO THIS  
Hero: I'm sorry, Kel. It had to be done.  
Kel: FUCK  
Kel: YOU  
Aubrey: Kel, buddy, how many years exactly did you keep that thing...  
Kel: ummmmmmm  
Kel: lets just say it was there before hero went to college  
Aubrey: Why.  
Kel: i was saving it for a special occasion >:((((  
Aubrey: What occasion??? Tax evasion???  
Aubrey: You gonna offer the tax collector a drink and poison him with decade old Orange Joe???  
Kel: maybe  
Hero: In all seriousness, Kel, you're going to make yourself sick drinking that stuff...especially with how old it is.  
Kel: bro that is like the best way to die tho. slutting in orange joe.  
Aubrey: SL  
Aubrey: SLUTTING  
Kel: when the orange joe cap twists off  
Kel: the panties hit the floor  
Hero: What is wrong with you.  
Kel: im going through withdrawal  
Hero: A withdrawal...of Orange Joe.  
Kel: yes  
Aubrey: Oh my god you are such a BABY  
Kel: it hurts aubrey  
Kel: im in pain  
Kel: i think im going colorblind  
Kel: hero if i best you in combat will you give me back my orange joe  
Hero: I already threw it away. Sorry! :)  
Aubrey: SGHLSGHLDHlghLKS  
Kel: betrayed by my own flesh and blood...  
Kel: hrnghggg need   
Kel: onge  
Kel: mr. joe  
Basil: Whats going on,,??  
Aubrey: Hero confiscated Kel's Orange Joe so now he's being a dramatic bitch  
Kel: my one true beloved  
Kel: ripped from my grasp  
Kel: i will never know love again...  
Basil: Um,,,,  
Basil: Dont they still have those in the vending machines in the park,,??  
Hero: WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM THAT?!  
Kel: BASIL  
Kel: I AM GOING TO KISS YOU ON THE LIPS  
Basil: Huh,,???  
Basil: Please...,,dont??  
Kel: ok i wont  
Kel: BUT I OWE YOU MY FUCKING LIFE  
Kel: I AM NAMING MY SECOND BORN CHILD AFTER YOU  
Basil: ...Thank you,,???  
Aubrey: Don't you mean first born  
Kel: no that one is firmly saved for orange joe  
Aubrey: You're naming your fucking kid Orange Joe  
Kel: yes  
Aubrey: I hope they disown you  
Kel: that is very rude and hurtful  
Kel: i will now drown my sorrows in orange joe  
Kel: farewell  
Hero: OH NO YOU DON'T  
Hero: COME BACK HERE  
Aubrey: Hey Basil wanna bet on whether Hero catches up to him before he reaches the vending machines  
Basil: Thirty bucks says he will!!!!!  
Aubrey: Ok ur fucking on. Fifty says he won't  
Basil: :)  
Aubrey: Hm that emoji has a very threatening aura  
Basil: Tee-hee!  
Basil: 5  
Basil: 4  
Basil: 3  
Aubrey: Huh  
Basil: 2  
Basil: 1~  
Kel: MOTHERFUCKER  
Hero: You're allowance is being revoked.  
Kel: THIS IS TYRANNY  
Basil: Hehe!!! Pay up Aubrey!!!  
Aubrey: YOU LITTLE SHIT WHAT THE FUCK  
Basil: Kel had to have been in his room to know Hero took away his stash,,, and I saw Hero in the park not too long ago!!!  
Aubrey: Oh you tiny bastard. This was a con.  
Basil: Maaaaybeeeee  
Aubrey: I am so proud and afraid of you right now.  
Kel: what is going on  
Aubrey: You owe me fifty dollars   
Kel: WHAT

Kel >>> Hero  
3:35 PM  
Kel: herooo  
Hero: No.  
Kel: herooooo  
Hero: No.  
Kel: heeeerrrroooooooo  
Hero: No.  
Hero: Fold your laundry.  
Kel: ur killing me here  
Hero: Hm? What's that? It almost sounded like someone not doing laundry...strange.  
Kel: ughghghghghghghghghg

Kel >>> Aubrey  
4:23 PM  
Kel: aubreyyy  
Aubrey: Do you have my fifty dollars  
Kel: what   
Kel: no  
Aubrey: Then don't talk to me  
Kel: whatttt  
Kel: aubreyyyyy  
Kel: you know i dont have an allowance anymore :(  
Kel: aaauuuuubbbbrrreeeeyyyyy  
Kel: :((((((((

Kel >>> Basil  
4:50 PM  
Kel: basil :(((  
Basil: Hi Kel!!!  
Kel: :(((((  
Basil: Um,,, are you okay???  
Kel: im dying  
Kel: bury me amongst the stars  
Kel: in my will i leave to u my captain spaceboy comics  
Kel: tell my grandkids my story....  
Basil: ...If you died now then how would you have grandkids???  
Kel: huh  
Kel: oh shit u right  
Kel: uhhhhhh tell sallys grandkids  
Kel: or i guess just tell sally  
Basil: You can tell her yourself because Im,,,pretty sure youre not actually dying  
Kel: i ammmmm  
Kel: my blood is 75% orange joe  
Kel: i am...onjo the fishn't  
Basil: Um.  
Kel: hey on a scale of 1 to 10 how disappointed would heros sigh be if i started my emo phase over this  
Basil: 20  
Kel: hell yea....new record  
Kel: brb i gotta buy a black shirt and some eyeliner  
Basil: I thought you had your allowance taken away,,???  
Kel: SHIT  
Kel: well desperate times call for desperate measures  
Basil: ,,,What/???  
Basil: What,, does that mean???  
Basil: Kel????

Basil >>> Hero  
Basil: Um,,, Hero?  
Hero: Yes, Basil? Can I help you?  
Basil: Its just um,,,,  
Basil: I think Kels about to do something,,,,  
Basil: He was texting me and said "desperate times call for desperate measures",,, and then stopped replying  
Hero: Hm....he did seem awfully suspicious when he asked me for a marker earlier.  
Hero: ....  
Hero: ....Just a minute.  
Hero: Thank you for the heads up.  
Basil: Youre welcome!!!!

<< Faraway Friends! >>  
5:08 PM  
Hero: @Everyone.  
Hero: I just want you guys to know that Kel is, once again, grounded.  
Basil: Oh no,...  
Aubrey: JFC What did he do this time  
Hero sent a picture.  
Aubrey: IS   
Aubrey: IS HE TRYING TO COLOR IN A SHIRT WITH A SHARPIE  
Aubrey: WHAT  
Basil: Ah,  
Hero: When I asked him what he was doing he said, and I quote, "You're not my REAL dad, Hero. You wouldn't understand my inner pain. Gah."  
Aubrey: DID HE SAY "GAH" OUT LOUD ALDSGHAOIHGOIAHSDIOGHO IC ANT  
Basil: Did he,,, really think he could make an entire shirt black with just a sharpie marker???  
Hero: I don't know and I don't want to lower my opinion of him by learning.  
Aubrey: OMGAHDSGOIHAIODHGO  
Aubrey: WAIT  
Aubrey: WAIT IS THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT HIS FUCKING SODA  
Hero: Yes.  
Hero: Yes it is.  
Basil: ,,,  
Aubrey: You know, the scariest part of this is that HE'LL be the one ur little sister grows up looking up to  
Aubrey: Like, she'll be trying to emulate HIM  
Hero: I don't think we'll have to worry about Sally turning out like him. He's special.  
Aubrey: """Special""" What was he dropped on his head or smth  
Hero: I did catch him eating drywall when he was a toddler, yes.  
Aubrey: HH  
Aubrey: That explains so much actually  
Basil: Was he okay,,??? He didnt get sick, did he???  
Hero: Oh, no, he was perfectly fine.  
Aubrey: U know thats probably why he can drink so much Orange Joe without organ failure  
Hero: Hm...you have a point.  
Kel: UH YOU GUYS KNOW I STILL HAVE MY PHONE RIGHT? LIKE HERO HASN'T ACTUALLY TAKEN IT AWAY YET  
Kel: I CAN SEE EVERYTHING UR SAYING  
Aubrey: Read it and weeb you fucking loser  
Hero: Ah! Thank you for reminding me, Kel. I'll get that taken care of right away!  
Kel: SHI  
Basil: Bye Kel!!!  
Aubrey: Rip in piss  
Hero: Oh! By the way!  
Hero: If the two of you would like to come down for dinner, I can set aside some extra plates.  
Hero: I made chicken and dumplings tonight :)  
Aubrey: FUCK YEAHHHHHHHHH   
Aubrey: I AM OMW AS WE SPEAK LETS GOOOO  
Basil: Um,,, if I come is it alright if I bring a plate back for Polly??  
Hero: Of course!  
Basil: Alright!!! Ill be there!!!  
Hero: I'll be sure to make some room at the table for you guys.

Sunny >>> Aubrey  
2:41 AM  
Sunny: aubrey  
Sunny: aubrey  
Sunny: aubrey  
Sunny: hm  
Sunny: straightey  
Aubrey: SUNNY SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I WALK OVER TO WHEREVER THE FUCK YOU LIVE NOW AND SHOVE MY BAT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU ACTUALLY GROW A FEW INCHES  
Sunny: good morning  
Aubrey: SHUT UP  
Aubrey: IT IS TWO IN THE GODDAMN MORNING  
Aubrey: WHAT  
Aubrey: THE  
Aubrey: FUCK  
Aubrey: DO  
Aubrey: YOU  
Aubrey: WANT  
Sunny: nightmare  
Aubrey: ,  
Aubrey: Oh.  
Aubrey: Um.  
Aubrey: Do you...want to talk about it?  
Sunny: yes  
Aubrey: Uh. Okay.  
Aubrey: Was it about Mari?  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: No??  
Aubrey: What was it about?  
Sunny: torothy  
Aubrey: ...  
Aubrey: I'm blocking you.  
Aubrey: And then I'm going to sleep.  
Aubrey: And when I wake up, I am going to hitch a ride to bumfuckhicksville or wherever the hell you are.  
Aubrey: And I am actually, literally going to kill you.  
Sunny: ok  
Sunny: can i have a picture of your bunny first  
Aubrey: No :)  
Sunny: sadness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to that one commenter a couple chapters back that predicted sunny and aubreys dynamic. ily (ilya actually i thrive off comments <333)


	12. plot?? DEVELOPMENT???? in MY omori chatfic??? its more likely than you think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aubrey: Ok insulting HERO I can understand and even advocate  
> Hero: Hey.  
> Aubrey: Hey urself Henry. Cissy.  
> Hero: ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twelve year-olds are the worst 🙄

Sunny >>> Sunny  
12:31 AM  
Sunny: ur password sux

1:04 PM  
Sunny: ?????

12:59 AM  
Sunny: i know u know who i am 

1:13 PM  
Sunny: stay out of my phone

12:46 AM  
Sunny: u do know i have access to all ur memoreez & knowledge rite??? changin ur password doesnt do crap u loser

1:20 PM  
Sunny: what do you want

12:35 AM  
Sunny: give me back my knife

1:19 PM  
Sunny: no

12:08 AM  
Sunny: give me back my knife

1:23 PM  
Sunny: no

12:42 AM  
Sunny: give me back my knife

1:30 PM  
Sunny: no

1:01 AM  
Sunny: well can u at LEEST stop kickin me out of headspace when ur sleeping....the real worldz boringgg

12:45 PM  
Sunny: will you stop making fun of me

12:56 PM  
Sunny: absolutely not

12:41 PM  
Sunny: :|

12:52 AM  
Sunny: i hate u passionatly & violently

12:47 PM  
Sunny: i know  
Sunny: theres a sketchbook in the top drawer and the color pencils are beside the lamp

1:12 AM  
Sunny: frick u i alreddy knew that

1:32 PM  
Sunny sent a picture.  
Sunny: why  
Sunny: draw something else

12:41 AM  
Sunny: ur not the boss of me >:1  
Sunny: i wont have to draw at all if u gave me my knife back

1:22 PM  
Sunny: no

12:55 AM  
Sunny: well too frikin bad

Sunny >>> Hero  
2:40 PM  
Sunny: hero  
Hero: Hello, Sunny!  
Sunny: hero.  
Hero: ...Yes??  
Sunny: i need advice.  
Hero: Oh! I'll gladly help you!  
Sunny: you cant ask for context though.  
Hero: Um...Alright.  
Hero: What do you need help with?  
Sunny: how do i bribe a twelve year old to stop drawing dicks in my sketchbook without giving in to his initial demands  
Hero: Um...?  
Hero: What were his...initial demands?  
Sunny: a knife  
Hero: Why does he want a knife????  
Sunny: no context  
Hero: Um?????  
Hero: Well then...what else does he like???  
Sunny: cats  
Sunny: do i buy him a cat  
Hero: You should probably not do that.  
Sunny: right...  
Sunny: torothys brethren.......  
Hero: ...Yeah.  
Hero: You could probably get him something cat-themed, though. Like a hoodie, or a mug.  
Sunny: hm  
Hero: If that doesn't work, you could just hide your sketchbook from him.  
Sunny: cant  
Sunny: he knows all my hiding places  
Hero: Ah...  
Hero: Have you tried just telling him to stop?  
Sunny: yes many times  
Sunny: he doesnt like me  
Hero: If all else fails, you could just tell his parents. You did say he was only twelve.  
Sunny: i dont think he has parents  
Hero: Oh...  
Hero: Is he....in a children's home?  
Sunny: no  
Hero: Is he homeless?!  
Sunny: ...no?  
Hero: ??????  
Hero: Do you not know???  
Sunny: its complicated  
Hero: What does that mean????  
Sunny: no context  
Hero: Huh?????  
Hero: Sunny, you can't just tell me these things about your friend and then not explain!!!!  
Sunny: no context  
Sunny: also he doesnt like it when i ask him questions  
Hero: I...alright...??  
Hero: He is safe though, right?  
Sunny: yes  
Hero: Okay...good...  
Hero: Well...tell me how it goes, okay?  
Sunny: ok  
Sunny: thanks  
Hero: It's no problem..

Sunny >>> Basil  
3:51 PM  
Sunny sent a picture.  
Sunny: does this look like something i would like  
Basil: Um,,,,why are you asking me??? Wouldnt you know if you liked it????  
Sunny: not me now  
Sunny: when i was a kid  
Basil: I still feel like you would know what you liked,,,,  
Sunny: answer  
Basil: Umm,, well,,  
Basil: I guess its definitely something I would buy you!!!!  
Sunny: hm  
Sunny: ok  
Sunny: thank you for your input  
Basil: Youre,,, welcome???  
Basil: Oh!!! Are you gonna buy it???  
Sunny: yes  
Sunny: bribe  
Basil: Whos it a bribe for????  
Sunny: friend  
Basil: Oh!!!  
Basil: Youve made a friend already!?!??  
Sunny: kinda  
Sunny: he hates me  
Basil: O  
Basil: Oh??  
Basil: But you said hes your friend??  
Sunny: im 90% sure if i called him my enemy hed start crying  
Basil: ...But he hates you???  
Sunny: yes  
Basil: Does he,,,, actually hate you or is it like,,  
Basil: The way Aubrey pretends to hate Kel but theyre actually really good friends???  
Sunny: i told him i enjoyed his company and he bit me  
Basil: Um  
Basil: Why do you hang out with him???  
Sunny: i ask myself this every day  
Sunny: dw about it though  
Sunny: if it escalates ill tell you more  
Basil: E  
Basil: Escalates?????  
Basil: Huh????  
Sunny: dw about it  
Basil: But!!!  
Sunny: dw about it  
Basil: Um...okay,,..  
Basil: Tell me if does anything else though!!! Ok!!!??!  
Sunny: ok

Sunny >>> Sunny  
2:03 AM  
Sunny: u rly think a stupid swetter can replace my knife  
Sunny: insulting -.-

12:45 PM  
Sunny: why did i wake up wearing it then

1:15 AM  
Sunny: stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you stabz you

12:24 PM  
Sunny: with what knife

1:42 AM  
Sunny: wordz canot describe  
Sunny: well maybee they can  
Sunny: disgust  
Sunny: hate  
Sunny: loathing  
Sunny: resentment  
Sunny: malice  
Sunny: malevolence  
Sunny: abhorration

12:55 PM  
Sunny: you forgot to exit out of dictionary.com on chrome

1:16 AM  
Sunny: thatz it  
Sunny: vengence

Sunny >>> Hero  
Sunny: hey there cissy  
Sunny: token cis  
Sunny: nice name HENRY did ur MOM pick it out  
Sunny: only name u got 2 choose was a sammich. lame.  
Sunny: maybee if u had munny u could change ur name to smth cool... OH WAIT  
Sunny: college student college student cisgender college student ur name sux and ur BROKE

Sunny >>> Basil  
Sunny: parsely  
Sunny: oregano  
Sunny: rosemary  
Sunny: celantro  
Sunny: arugula  
Sunny: bean sproutz  
Sunny: shallotz  
Sunny: wait a minute r shallotz the green onionz or r they the weird shrimp thingz...  
Sunny: ok ya theyre the onions that name still standz  
Sunny: uhhhh lettuce  
Sunny: cabbage  
Sunny: i think im reachin now ill stop

Sunny >>> Aubrey  
Sunny: ...  
Sunny: i cant actually think of anything 2 insult u on that wont make u kill me  
Sunny: consider urself spared >.>

<< Faraway Friends! >>  
9:52 AM  
Aubrey: Ok so can someone tell me why Sunny messaged me at like midnight  
Aubrey: And said this  
Aubrey sent a picture.  
Kel: what the fuck adghashgdiosah  
Hero: Um...  
Hero: He sent me a bunch of strange...insults?....at around the same time.  
Aubrey: Holy shit really  
Kel: whatd he sayyy  
Hero: He called me a..."cissy", made fun of my name, and then said I was broke.  
Aubrey: He's not wrong  
Kel: ahsdgoiahsoidhgioahs HE REALLY ISNT UR REAL NAME IS AWFUL  
Aubrey: Fuckin Henry...  
Aubrey: Is that all he did tho??  
Hero: He was typing a bit strange but other than that...no.  
Basil: Um!!  
Kel: omg dont tell me he sent u stuff too  
Basil: He did!! Actually!..  
Kel: BROOO  
Aubrey: Ok insulting HERO I can understand and even advocate  
Hero: Hey.  
Aubrey: Hey urself Henry. Cissy.  
Hero: ...  
Aubrey: Anyway I can get that  
Aubrey: But YOU???  
Aubrey: Especially by SUNNY???  
Aubrey: WTF  
Kel: wait was he insulting u or was it just weird like aubreys  
Basil: I,...think it was an insult????  
Basil: He just,,, listed a bunch of garnish plants,,  
Basil: And then just leafy greens in general,,..  
Aubrey: SHGOSHDFOGHIOSDHGIOHF  
Kel: OMGGG AGIOSOGBOHAHHI  
Hero: Why...  
Hero: Why???  
Kel: WHY DIDNT I GET ANY MYSTERIOUSLY INSULTING MESSAGES  
Aubrey: Why do you WANT one???  
Kel: i like to feel included  
Basil: I dont think he has your number, Kel...  
Kel: WAIT WHAT  
Kel: I THOUGHT I GAVE IT TO HIM BEFORE HE LEFT  
Hero: Did you??  
Kel: wait  
Kel: aw shit i think i gave him my address instead  
Aubrey: Why the fuck did you give him your address???I'm pretty sure he knows where you live dumbass given ur house is RIGHT NEXT TO HIS OLD ONE  
Kel: ,,,,pen pals???  
Kel: in my defense it was a very stressful week and my common sense battery gets drained very easy  
Aubrey: Yeah that's valid  
Kel: ONE OF U GIVE HIM MY NUMBER THO PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS  
Kel: OR GIVE ME HIS OR SMTH PLSSSSSS  
Hero: I'll forward his number to you later today, Kel.  
Kel: thank youuuuuuu  
Hero: Back to the topic at hand, why did he do this in the first place???  
Kel: maybe he pulled all nighters again and is just sleep deprived  
Hero: He better not be if he knows what's good for him :)  
Kel: you are so threatening for someone whos taken the hippopatamus oath  
Aubrey: THE  
Hero: ...It's the hippocratic oath, Kel.  
Kel: wtvr man hippopatamaos hippocrattack they both start with hippo theyre basically the same word  
Kel: its the hippo oath thats all that matters  
Kel: hippoath  
Aubrey: ...Are we sure UR not the one who's sleep deprived Kel???  
Hero: .......You were awake before I was, Kel.....  
Kel: i might have stayed up all night reading about carcinisation  
Basil: Why?????  
Kel: crab crab crab crab crab  
Hero: Kel.  
Kel: ya ya ill take a nap later  
Hero: I'll make sure of it.  
Aubrey: We're getting off topic AGAIN  
Aubrey: Whatever  
Aubrey: Basil just text Sunny and ask him wtf happened last night  
Basil: Ummmm hes probably not awake right now but Ill leave him a message!!!!

Basil >>> Sunny  
Basil: Hey um,,, Whats up with all the stuff you sent last night???  
Basil: Hero and Aubrey are pretty confused;;;; I am too..  
Basil: Oh yeah!!! And Kel has your number too so expect a text from him later today!!! But Hero is making him take a nap today too...

12:25 PM  
Sunny: good morning  
Sunny: what stuff  
Basil: Good afternoon Sunny!!!  
Basil: And um,,, the stuff you sent everyone last night???  
Basil: Were thinking that because it was so late you mightve just been tired,,, so you might not remember. You can scroll up and check though!!!  
Sunny: hm  
Sunny: ...  
Sunny: oh  
Sunny: that makes sense  
Basil: Hm??? What do you mean??  
Sunny: the sweater bribe...  
Sunny: it escalated.......  
Basil: Huh????  
Sunny: he took my phone  
Basil: !!!!  
Basil: Your friendbutnotreally??!  
Sunny: yes  
Basil: At.,,, one in the morning.,,?  
Sunny: yes  
Basil: Why was he in your house that late???  
Sunny: sleepover?  
Basil: Why is that a question....;;;  
Sunny: impromptu and nonconsenual sleepover  
Basil: That just sounds like he broke in!!!1  
Sunny: its fine  
Sunny: hes 12  
Basil: TWELVE?  
Basil: A TWELVE YEAR OLD? BROKE INTO YOUR HOME?? TO MAKE FUN OF YOUR FRIENDS USING INSULTS THAT BARELY EVEN MAKE SENSE???  
Sunny: to quote him  
Sunny: "vengence"  
Basil: WHAT IS IT VENGEANCE FOR????  
Sunny: he had to get out a dictionary to insult me and i pointed it out  
Basil: I  
Basil: I dont even???? Know what to say anymore????  
Basil: Whats his name??  
Sunny: ...piano  
Basil: Piano?  
Sunny: piano.  
Basil: ...Alright. Piano. Okay. Fine. Mhm. Yeah.  
Sunny: you seem stressed  
Sunny: here  
Sunny sent a picture.  
Sunny sent a picture.  
Sunny sent a picture.  
Basil: ,,,,Keep sending them...,,  
Basil: Its gonna take awhile to fix my brain from this,,,,

<< Faraway Friends! >>  
Basil: Okay.  
Basil: I know what happened last night.  
Aubrey: Tell us tell us tell us  
Hero: What happened?  
Basil: Youre not gonna believe me.  
Aubrey: Try us  
Basil: A twelve year-old named Piano broke into his house, took his phone, and sent those messages as payback for Sunny pointing out that he had to use a dictionary when making up insults.  
Kel: W  
Hero: Huh...  
Aubrey: WHAT  
Hero: How??? What????  
Kel: ????????  
Aubrey: WHAT THE FUCK  
Basil: If you want more details! Ask Sunny yourself!!!  
Basil: I have decided to no longer discuss this as every new thing I learn hurts my brain!!!!!!  
Basil: Now!!! If youll excuse me!!!!  
Basil: I am going to take a very nice bubble bath and look at funny pictures!!!!!  
Basil: Goodbye!!!!!  
Kel: IT BROKE HIM ADSGHAOIHGDIOH  
Aubrey: RIP Basil, Sunny finally managed to be too much for him. A true king.

Kel >>> Sunny  
Kel: hey bestie  
Kel: guess who finallyyyyy gotcha digits  
Sunny: kim  
Kel: guess again  
Sunny: kimberly  
Kel: that is the same person  
Sunny: berly  
Kel: now ur just makin up names  
Kel: n e way fyi u broke basil. i think hes having an aneurysm  
Sunny: it was bound to happen  
Kel: u right  
Kel: i dont actually care abt piano kid or wtvr but can you tell him to make fun of me too  
Kel: or like you can do it i just dont wanna be the only not one being insulted  
Sunny: your three point throw is mediocre and your sneakers are cheap  
Kel: that was quick  
Kel: thx bestie ur the shit  
Sunny: b

Sunny >>> Sunny  
10:49 PM  
Sunny: im giving you a rabies shot


	13. this one is literally just a bunch of kel ur welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kel: ohhhh  
> Kel: its like really fucked up arithmetic  
> Aubrey: H  
> Aubrey: HOW IS IT LIKE ARITHMETIC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why is this chapter so goddamn long? well it is because i love kel. definitely not bc the file got corrupted while i was writing and i couldnt see the actual size. nope its the love stored in the kel.

<< Faraway Friends! >>  
2:12 AM  
Kel: evryybod y SHUT the fukc up, ijsut had an idea  
Kel: ww shoiuld gototh e b eahch  
Kel: ffuckign HEL EYAS  
Kel: ehheheaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
Kel is offline.

8:35 AM  
Hero: I’m not even going to pretend to know.  
Basil: Kel???  
Kel: uck  
Hero: Kel, why were you awake at two in the morning?  
Kel: wikippedia bingne  
Kel: did. didyo know tthat thersssss a spesies of sea bunbny that can htoapthsythsi  
Hero: Try again, Kel.  
Kel: ddiy ounkowd tht  
Kel: didoyuuuuuu  
Kel: hhhhhh  
Basil: Are,,,you okay??  
Kel: ungng tired  
Hero: I wonder why.  
Basil: Ummm,,,, I think you should go to bed,,  
Basil: Or,,, back to bed???  
Hero: Kel, did you get any sleep at all last night?  
Kel: n  
Hero: Sigh…  
Hero: Let’s get you to bed.  
Hero: We'll be talking about this later, though.  
Hero is offline.  
Kel: kb  
Basil: Sweet dreams, Kel!!! Please get some rest!!!!  
Kel: yeethaw  
Kel is offline.

11:41 AM  
Aubrey: Hey what the fuck happened here  
Aubrey: Is Kel dead  
Hero: No, but he’s certainly dead to the world…  
Aubrey: Disappointing  
Hero: Aubrey…  
Aubrey: Fine fine whatever  
Aubrey: What was he even trying to say  
Hero: I’m…not sure?  
Hero: His first set of texts almost sounded like he was talking about...the beach?  
Aubrey: The beach???  
Hero: Well...It IS summer break...  
Aubrey: Yanno I think I'd rather not go on a trip like that this year...  
Hero: Yeah...I agree.  
Hero: I think it wouldn't be too bad if we all did something together in-town, though.  
Aubrey: Hmmm maybe maybe  
Aubrey: Maybe like towards the end of summer tho ngl  
Hero: Yeah, that seems like a good idea.  
Hero: Hmm....you know, I've been thinking.  
Hero: Since we’ve all talked to him at this point…  
Hero added Sunny to Faraway Friends!.  
Hero: There.  
Kel: HII SUNNYY  
Sunny: good morning  
Aubrey: Ur cutting it close but I guess it is still morning  
Sunny: success  
Aubrey: Bitch.  
Hero: Kelsey. Why are you awake.  
Kel: bro to bro telepathy  
Kel: i felt him being added to the chat....  
Kel: in my soul........  
Kel: GUYS GUYS WAIT  
Kel: WE GOTTA CHANGE THE CHAT NAME  
Hero: We’re not doing this again.  
Kel: BUT HEROOOO  
Hero: No.  
Kel: I GOT A LEGIT REASON THIS TIME THO  
Aubrey: Goddd  
Aubrey: What is it  
Kel: sunny doesnt live in faraway :((( it doesn’t include him  
Hero: Oh.  
Kel: yeah :(((  
Sunny: sadness  
Kel: SEE HE FEELS LEFT OUT  
Kel: @Basil come online and help me guilt trip hero  
Hero: You don’t need to do that??  
Kel: maybe i want to. ever thunka that.  
Aubrey: On one hand I despise agreeing with you on anything ever  
Aubrey: On the OTHER hand I LOVE bullying Hero  
Kel: do it do it do it  
Aubrey: Fine  
Hero: What  
Aubrey: HERO YOU ASS WHY ARE YOU EXLUDING SUNNY  
Aubrey: DICKBAG  
Aubrey: DO YOU WANT HIM TO FEEL SAD  
Aubrey: DO YOU  
Hero: N  
Hero: No??  
Kel: then explain why the name of the gc name doesnt include him. elaborate.  
Hero: Because it was changed to that before Sunny joined???  
Kel: the court finds the defendant Henry “Hero” Doctorguy  
Kel: guilty as charged  
Aubrey: GUILTY  
Sunny: guilty  
Basil: Guilty!!!  
Kel: BASIL AHGIOSDHGHGAIDI  
Kel: and hes offline again. a true king.  
Aubrey: My man Basil hops on just to help roast Hero…Imma marry that bitch  
Hero: Aren’t you both gay??  
Aubrey: And?  
Aubrey: What about it?  
Aubrey: It’s a lavender marriage, dumbass. Tax benefits. Get with the program.  
Aubrey: Fuck you.  
Hero: I’m sorry???  
Aubrey: You better be.  
Kel: can i be ur best man  
Aubrey: No.  
Kel: can i be basils best man  
Aubrey: No.  
Kel: …can i be the ring bearer??  
Aubrey: …maybe.  
Kel: FUCK YEAH ILL TAKE IT  
Kel: ok now back to bullying hero  
Aubrey: Gladly <3  
Hero: Why.  
Kel: ur old  
Aubrey: Yeah it’s bc ur old  
Hero: I’m only 20…  
Sunny: ew  
Hero: ???  
Hero: If I changed the chat name will you stop?  
Aubrey: For now.  
Hero: Ok…  
Hero: I have no idea what to change it to, though…  
Sunny: can i name it  
Aubrey: NO  
Sunny: sadness  
Kel: wtf guys  
Kel: let him name it  
Aubrey: Kel, buddy, that is a godawful idea  
Aubrey: Sunny’s names are shit  
Sunny: offense  
Kel: HEY UR OFFENDING HIM  
Kel: LET THE MAN SPEAK  
Hero: I see nothing wrong with letting Sunny choose the name.  
Hero: What do you have in mind, Sunny?  
Sunny: boudce  
Sunny: its pronounced buds  
Hero: …  
Kel: what  
Aubrey: HOW THE FUCK IS THAT PRONOUNCED BUDS  
Sunny: in the word rough – ou makes ‘uh’ sound  
Sunny: ce makes ‘s’ sounds  
Kel: ohhhh  
Kel: its like really fucked up arithmetic  
Aubrey: H  
Aubrey: HOW IS IT LIKE ARITHMETIC  
Kel: add subtract different sounds  
Sunny: add subtract different sounds  
Kel: aghsidhoghdahsog  
Aubrey: I hate you two. Why are you like this.  
Kel: ngl at least half of it is to spite you  
Aubrey: Motherfucker  
Hero: Am I really changing the chat name to Boudce…?  
Sunny: boudce  
Sunny: lower case  
Hero: …Right. boudce…  
Aubrey: I tried to warn you dude  
Hero: …That you did, Aubrey. That you did.  
Hero: Sigh.  
Hero changed the chat’s named to boudce.  
Aubrey: Existence is agony.  
Kel: existence is GREAT  
Sunny: pride

Aubrey >>> Kel  
1:12 PM  
Aubrey: I'm bored.  
Kel: oogzy boogzy banginzy  
Aubrey: What the fuck  
Kel: yeah idk why i sent that either  
Kel: im still kinda tired so like  
Kel: brain no thinky  
Aubrey: At this point I think a concussion could only improve your normal brain function  
Kel: ur prolly right  
Kel: id say im down to test it but i think hero would actually literally murder me if i got a concussion on purpose  
Aubrey: Are we sure you can even die tho  
Aubrey: Like. Didn't you fall out of the treehouse head first once??  
Aubrey: And only got a broken wrist????  
Kel: o yahhh i forgot that happened  
Kel: that was wildddd  
Aubrey: I never want to see you on pain killers again  
Aubrey: Actually scratch that I'm fine seeing u like that but only if I have a camera  
Kel: FUCK YA film that shit i wanna see  
Aubrey: Well we gotta get u on painkillers first  
Aubrey: And I don't wanna become like an Actual Gang Member by trying to find some on the streets  
Kel: it seems we are back to intentionally injuring me i see  
Aubrey: As fun as that sounds I worry too much abt Hero's blood pressure to put him thru that  
Kel: ya same same  
Aubrey: I'm still bored tho so uhhhh  
Aubrey: Fuck it. What's ur type.  
Kel: type????  
Aubrey: Yeah ur type.  
Kel: uhhhhhhh electric types kick ass the most but between u and me i rly like steel n dragon types....  
Aubrey: What in god's name are you talking about  
Kel: ...pokemon?????  
Aubrey: Ok well first of all,  
Aubrey: Everyone knows fire and fighting types are the best, so shut the fuck up,  
Kel: heathen  
Aubrey: Fuck off  
Aubrey: SECOND OF ALL  
Aubrey: I wasn't talking about pokemon you fucking nerd  
Kel: U WERENT????  
Aubrey: NO?????  
Aubrey: WHY WOULD I TALK TO U ABT POKEMON?????  
Aubrey: I ALREADY HAVE TO DEAL W ANGEL WHY WOULD I DO THAT TO MYSELF  
Kel: you know what. fair point.  
Kel: but wait what were u talking abt then  
Aubrey: Relationships dumbass  
Kel: ?????  
Kel: w  
Kel: why??????  
Aubrey: Bc I'm bored and we all know ur never gonna find a boyfriend by urself  
Kel: i totally could  
Aubrey: Then why haven't you  
Kel: well why havent YOU gotten a GIRLFRIEND yet  
Aubrey: Bc the only girls that aren't scared of me are the ones in my gang???  
Aubrey: And we follow a STRICT bros before hoes rule so we're not allowed to date each other  
Kel: what abt mikhail then  
Aubrey: He'll never land himself a real girlfriend, it's easier to just let him pretend  
Kel: cold. nice.  
Aubrey: Anyway this isn't about The Maverick this is about YOU  
Aubrey: Type. Now.  
Kel: how about no  
Aubrey: Yes  
Kel: no  
Aubrey: Yes  
Kel: no  
Aubrey: Stop being a little bitch  
Kel: im gonna break into ur house and replace all ur hair dye with a near-identical-but-still-off-color shade of pink so that whenever u look into the mirror ull be tortured knowing that smth is wrong w how u look but ull never figure out what it is  
Aubrey: What the fuck is wrong with you  
Kel: do u rly need to ask  
Aubrey: U right  
Aubrey: Still bored  
Kel: thirty bucks says u cant beat me in a game of basketball  
Aubrey: I'm going to fucking obliterate you

Kel >>> Basil  
2:31 PM  
Kel: basil basil my good friend basil  
Basil: Hi Kel!!!  
Kel: hello  
Kel: i need ur help w smth  
Basil: …Is this gonna get you in trouble again??  
Kel: nnno?  
Kel: nono its not like. shenanigans.  
Kel: but ur still the only person i think can help me w this  
Basil: Really???  
Kel: ya man  
Kel: i mean sunny might be able to but u know how he is  
Kel: n i dont rly wanna bother hero w it  
Basil: And Aubrey??  
Kel: is aubrey  
Basil: Haha,, I guess that’s true,,  
Basil: Sooo what do you need help with??  
Kel: i think im having a panic attack lol  
Basil: What?????  
Kel: its either a panic or anxiety attack idk the difference or an allergic reaction but ive literally just been playing b-ball so if it turns out ive become allergic to like the ball or some shit i think id rather it just kill me  
Kel: or maybe im allergic to aubrey  
Kel: but she left like fifteen minutes ago so i dont think thats it either  
Basil: UM???  
Basil: Well um uh first you should go sit down somewhere!! Youre at the park right?? So find a place a little away from everyone else and go sit!!!  
Kel: k  
Kel: what now  
Basil: Now you need to focus on breathing!!!!  
Basil: In through the nose, hold, and out through the mouth!!  
Basil: Do you um,, want me to call you to walk you through it???  
Kel: nah lol sound makes my head kinda hurt  
Basil: Ok!!! Well!  
Basil: Just keep focusing on your breathing!!!!  
Kel: aight  
Basil: Oh uh!!!  
Basil: And now um,, look around you and tell me uh, five things you can see!!  
Kel: ??  
Basil: It’s a grounding exercise!! I learned it from my therapist!  
Kel: oh cool  
Kel: ummm well i see some trees  
Kel: annnnnd clouds i guess  
Kel: i can still see part of the court from here  
Kel: theres a patch of clover flowers over here  
Kel: O SHIT a worm. fuck yeah.  
Basil: Ok nowww tell me four things you can hear!!  
Kel: cars go vroom vroom  
Kel: theres like a gaggle of preschoolers screaming at the playground  
Kel: uhhhh bird. chirping.  
Kel: i think i hear a woodpecker but i already said bird does that count  
Basil: Mhm!!! Good job!!  
Basil: Now give me three things you can touch!!  
Kel: oh thats EASY  
Kel: grass clothes ball BABY  
Basil: Two things you can smell!!  
Kel: uhh grass?? again?  
Kel: it smells like its gonna rain soon does that count  
Basil: I.,, guess??  
Basil: Okok now 1 thing you can taste!!  
Kel: ..,,grass  
Basil: Why can you taste grass,,  
Kel: because i. ate a dandelion  
Basil: Why??  
Kel: bc theyre edible  
Basil: I know that but why did you eat it??  
Kel: bc theyre edible  
Basil: …Ok??  
Basil: Well!! Um!!  
Basil: Do you feel any better??  
Kel: hell yea man  
Kel: thanks  
Kel: ur the most anxious person i know i knew u got the tricks  
Basil: ,,,,Thank you??  
Kel: np  
Basil: Umm..,,  
Basil: Do you mind if I ask,,, what set you off??  
Kel: ur guess is as good as mine lmao  
Kel: sometimes ya brain gets yeeted into The Bad Place (tm) and ur body goes “oh shit!!! we dyin!!!”  
Kel: u know???  
Basil: Yeah,,, I know,,,  
Basil: But wait,,, you said you didnt want to bother Hero with this,,???  
Basil: Why not??  
Kel: hhhhhhhhhh  
Kel: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
Kel: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
Kel: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
Basil:???  
Kel: did you know that theres like seventeen whole colors that shrimp can see that humans cant  
Kel: doesnt that piss you off  
Basil: I,,, guess??  
Basil: What does that have to do with Hero though,,,  
Kel: darn  
Kel: i was hoping the rage would distract you  
Kel: ughhhhh  
Basil: Yyou dont have to tell me if you dont want to!!!! Its none of my business really,,,,  
Kel: noooo dont feel bad for askingggggg  
Kel: i can smell ur anxiety from here  
Basil: Sorry,,,  
Kel: shhhhshshhhhshshhh  
Kel: shush  
Kel: its fine anyway i was just being dramatic lol  
Basil: Oh,,  
Kel: yeah  
Kel: its not that i DONT wanna talk to hero abt this stuff  
Kel: its just like  
Kel: hes got soooo much on his plate already  
Kel: i dont wanna give him another thing to worry abt  
Kel: like ya i know hes my big brother so hes gonna worry regardless but like  
Kel: thats just obligation  
Kel: i dont wanna give him a LEGIT reason to worry uknow?  
Basil: Ohhhhh,,, I understand.  
Kel: yeah  
Kel: im fine anyway  
Basil: You sure??  
Kel: yeah man lol  
Kel: im good  
Basil: Uhm,, if youre sure,,!  
Basil: Im always here to help if youre um, not fine though!! Ok??  
Kel: hell yea thanks man  
Kel: :)

Angel >>> Kel  
4:22 PM  
Angel: HEY  
Angel: HEY  
Angel: HEY  
Angel: HEY  
Kel: WHY DO YOU HAVE MY NUMBER  
Kel: ALSO WHY DO I HAVE YOURS AND ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS  
Kel: BUT MOSTLY WHY DO YOU HAVE MINE  
Angel: UH IDK WHY YOU HAVE OUR NUMBERS BUT I GOT YOURS FROM MASTER  
Kel: WHY DOES HE HAVE MY NUMBER  
Angel: IDK YOUD HAVE TO ASK HIM  
Kel: WHY ARE YOU TEXTING ME  
Angel: YOURE FRIENDS WITH BASIL  
Kel: Y  
Kel: YEAH??  
Kel: THE FUCK DO YOU WANT WITH HIM??  
Angel: WHATS HIS FAVORITE FOOD  
Kel: ???????  
Angel: LIKE. TO EAT?  
Angel: HE EATS RIGHT???  
Angel: OR WAIT DOES HE DO THAT PLANT STUFF  
Angel: PHOTOSYNTHETICS OR SOMETHING  
Kel: HES NOT A PLANT  
Angel: HES NOT??????  
Kel: NO???? DID YOU THINK HE WAS A FUCKING PLANT????  
Angel: KINDA  
Angel: I MEAN HIS NAME IS BASIL  
Kel: I CANT BELIEVE UR SOMEHOW MORE STUPID THAN ME. HOW DID YOU MANAGE THAT.  
Angel: ITS A SKILL B)  
Angel: ANYWAY YOU DIDNT ANSWER MY QUESTION  
Kel: WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW  
Angel: IM PLAYING WINGMAN  
Kel: O SHIT  
Kel: OKAY UHHHH  
Kel: HES NOT A PICKY EATER TBH  
Kel: I DONT THINK HE LIKES THINGS THAT ARE LIKE HEAVY MEATY THO  
Kel: BUT LIKE HELL EAT P MUCH ANYTHING U PUT IN FRONT OF HIM IF ONLY TO BE POLITE  
Angel: OK THANK YOU  
Kel: YUORE WELCOME  
Kel: WHO ARE YOU SETTING HIM UP WITH ANYWAY  
Angel: UM.  
Angel: HE DOESNT WANT ANYONE OUTSIDE OF US TO KNOW  
Angel: HE WANTS IT TO BE A SURPRISE  
Angel: IN FACT HE DIDNT ME TO BE HIS WINGMAN AT ALL BUT SINCE IM SUCH A GOOD FRIEND I DECIDED ILL HELP HIM ANYWAY B)  
Kel: YOU DO YOU I GUESS  
Angel: OK BYE I MIGHT NEED UR HELP LATER BUT IDK SO BYE  
Kel: BYE???? I GUESS???

Kel >>> Aubrey  
Kel: who has the hots for basil  
Kel: spill  
Aubrey: No.  
Kel: spill  
Aubrey: No.  
Kel: spill  
Aubrey: No.  
Kel: spill  
Aubrey: No.  
Kel: spill  
Aubrey: No.  
Kel: spill  
Aubrey: No.  
Kel: why not  
Aubrey: It physically pains me to think about it  
Kel: ok so its someone that sucks  
Kel: which narrows it down to everyone bc no one is good enough for basil  
Kel: damn  
Kel: spill  
Aubrey: No.  
Kel: spill  
Aubrey: No.  
Kel: spill  
Aubrey: Tell me what ur type is  
Kel: GOD NO  
Aubrey: Well ok then

Kel >>> Sunny  
11:44 PM  
Kel: bro r u awake  
Kel: i need 2 spitball an idea rn  
Sunny: ok  
Kel: SWEET ok ok so  
Kel: rats.  
Sunny: squeak squeak  
Kel: u get it.  
Kel: ok now. listen.  
Kel: crabs.  
Sunny: snip snip.  
Kel: YES  
Kel: ok so. carcinicize a rat. what would u get.  
Sunny: like a transformer?  
Kel: i guess?? maybe??  
Kel: tratsformer  
Sunny: transratformer  
Kel: transformrat  
Sunny: trans rats  
Kel: trans rights  
Sunny: yes  
Kel: good job man we rly nailed it  
Kel: still tho. imagine.  
Kel: rat to crab.  
Sunny: perfect being  
Kel: YESSSS YOU GET ME  
Kel: ok i need to go to bed now before hero grounds me again  
Sunny: goodnight  
Kel: ty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh.. i dont actually have an explanation for last chapter apart from "feral omori funny." i saw One (1) thumbnail on youtube that had omoris reflection in sunnys bathroom mirror and my brain went "yoink!". it was prolly the hikikomori route but i love kel too much to play it so idc. my canon my rules.


	14. this chapter is brought to you by the 58 i scored on my chemistry test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kel: its just twenty bucks :( cmon  
> Hero: It is twenty dollars that could very efficiently be used to buy a week’s worth of groceries, or a bribe for one’s dorm-mates. If saved correctly, it could even become thirty or even forty dollars; Allowing one to reward themselves with a trip to town to distract them from the fact that the man they saw tie a plastic doll the the ceiling fan in the dorm commons has a higher grade in math than them.  
> Kel: um

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does this chapter have anything resembling coherency? no. do i care? also no.

<< boudce >>   
9:45 AM  
Kel sent a video.  
Kel: @Everyone   
Aubrey: AOHGOIHSDHGOHAHGAHHGO  
Aubrey: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA  
Basil: Oh!!  
Aubrey: THAT’S TOO GOOD HOLY SHIT  
Aubrey: SAVED COPIED BACKED UP  
Aubrey: PRIME BLACKMAIL  
Sunny: get his ass  
Kel: SHIT  
Kel: GUYS HE HEARD ME LAUGHING  
Kel: HES GETTING OUT SHITSHITSHTI  
Aubrey: HIDE BITCH  
Kel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
Hero: AHEM.  
Hero: EXCUSE ME?  
Aubrey: Hiii Heroooo   
Basil: Hi,,,,  
Sunny: good morning   
Kel: hey man whats up haha  
Hero: DO NOT “WHAT’S UP” ME.  
Hero: WHY.  
Hero: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.  
Hero: TO YOUR OWN BROTHER.  
Kel: cain instinct  
Aubrey: Tbh Hero ur not that bad a singer  
Aubrey: U rly hit those high notes  
Hero: SHUTUPSHTUP SHTPUT SHTUP UP HSTUP  
Sunny: derogatory laugh  
Kel: ashgdlhgkl;hgoiha hgi  
Kel: DEROGATORY LAUGH  
Aubrey: DEROGATORY LAUGH  
Hero: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
Basil: Guys!!! Leave him alone!!!  
Basil: Everyone sings in the shower,,,,,!  
Hero: THANKYOUTHANKYOU BASIL THANK YOU  
Kel: awwww what  
Kel: u never stop us from bullying hero  
Aubrey: Yeah man what gives  
Sunny: ive walked in on basil singing britney spears on the shower before  
Basil: ,  
Aubrey: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
Kel: BASIL AHGOHAISGHD  
Kel: WAITWAIT SUNNY  
Kel: WAS HE ANY GOOD  
Sunny: better than hero  
Hero: I miss when I got paid to watch you guys. I really do. It was almost worth it.  
Aubrey: STOP BEING SO LAME AND WE'LL STOP MAKING FUN OF YOU SO OFTEN  
Kel: yeah man u unironically misuse internet slang  
Kel: ur fair game fr cyberbullying  
Aubrey: WAITWAITWAITWAIT  
Aubrey: You got PAID? To hang out with us?  
Aubrey: The FUCK?  
Hero: If a thirteen year-old boy came up to you right now and told you he wholeheartedly enjoyed, and even preferred, hanging out with a bunch of nine year-olds, would you believe him?  
Kel: not even a little tbh  
Aubrey: Ok yeah you have a point  
Aubrey: STILL.  
Hero: If it makes you feel any better, Mari also got payed, and we used to pool our money together to buy you guys treats.  
Hero: It was always used on you guys.  
Aubrey: Nngh,, ok..  
Kel: YOOOOO SO THATS HOW YOU GUYS COULD ALWAYS AFFORD TO TAKE US TO GINOS DESPITE NOT EVEN BEING IN HIGHSCHOOL  
Hero: Haha, yep!  
Hero: Our parents stopped after a while, though...  
Sunny: they should start paying you again  
Hero: You think?? You all are almost adults now, so hanging out really can't be mistaken for babysitting anymore...  
Sunny: have you considered this  
Hero: ?  
Sunny: with the taste of your lips im on the rise your toxic toxic toxic  
Hero is offline.  
Kel: SDFHGISHDFOIGOSDIFHSHIOIOH   
Aubrey: SUNNY OMG AJHGIODHSAIGSI

<< boudce >>   
1:12 PM  
Kel: open rp  
Kel: im lebron james  
Kel: “Hey ho howdy-do it is BALLIN time”  
Aubrey: I’m Jesus Christ.  
Aubrey: “You’re going to hell!” *smiles*  
Kel: “Not if I make this b-b-b-BASKET” *shoots da hoop*  
Aubrey: *it misses*  
Kel: *it fucking does NOT i am LEBRON JAMES*  
Aubrey: *calls dad who is literally god in case u forgot* “Hey make this shitbag miss his shot lol thx”  
Kel: *it still doesnt miss because fuck you*  
Sunny: *gun*  
Kel: bro u gotta say who u r first  
Sunny: a gun  
Sunny: “pew pew”  
Kel: “aw shit my body juice”  
Aubrey: “Hm you are going to double hell for those words! Repentance is not an option for you any longer!” *smiles*  
Sunny: “pew pew”  
Aubrey: “Jokes on you I’m already dead like twice over or smth idk I haven’t actually read the bible”  
Sunny: “pew pew pew”  
Aubrey: “Aw fuck an extra pew I’m dead again”  
Aubrey: “See you in three days asswipes”  
Basil: Um.?  
Kel: HI BASIL  
Kel: ok since lebron james is fucking dead now i guess uhhhhhh  
Kel: OK I GOT IT  
Kel: im JULIUS CAESAR  
Basil: Huh??  
Aubrey: WHY JULIUS CAESAR  
Kel: toga time  
Kel: wait sry  
Kel: "togaeth timeth"  
Aubrey: Well since Jesus died again I guess I gotta change characters too huh  
Aubrey: I'm Jailbreak   
Kel: FROM THE EMOJI MOVIE?  
Aubrey: ">:)"  
Basil: ??????  
Sunny: can i change characters too  
Aubrey: ":D"  
Kel: "ye canneth if ye wisheth"  
Sunny: ok  
Sunny: im g  
Aubrey: You're what  
Sunny: the letter g  
Sunny: "g"  
Aubrey: ">:("  
Sunny: "g"  
Aubrey: "=_="  
Kel: "goodeth jobbeth"  
Basil: Can,,,  
Basil: Can someone explain whats going on???  
Sunny: "g"  
Kel: "aye!!!"  
Kel: "we be rolethplayineth"  
Kel: "ye canneth be anyeth personeth ye wanteth"  
Kel: "as longeth as ye areth ineth charactereth"  
Aubrey: "# TnT"  
Kel: *is confusedeth*  
Sunny: "g"  
Basil: Kel I,,, dont think Julius Caesar talked like that??  
Kel: "whatevereth be ye meanineth"  
Basil: Im pretty sure youre just talking like a pirate,,  
Basil: Or a knight or something,,,  
Kel: OMG  
Kel: ok i changed my character again im a pirate knight  
Kel: "this be moreth in charactereth, aye?"  
Basil: I,,, guess??  
Aubrey: "|:p"  
Kel: "whateth emotioneth is thateth supposedeth to conveyeth"  
Sunny: "g"  
Kel: "aye?"  
Sunny: *g* "g"  
Basil: Um,,  
Kel: "dosteth ye wanteth to joineth?"  
Basil: Er,,  
Basil: This is a little weird, even for me,,,  
Aubrey: "6-6"  
Kel: "faireth"  
Sunny: "g"  
Hero: What did I just walk into  
Sunny: "g"  
Hero: What.  
Sunny: "g"  
Hero: What...what does that mean.  
Kel: "aye...i donteth thinketh it actuallyeth meanseth anythingeth othereth thaneth the lettereth G"  
Hero: H  
Kel: "nay, tis G"  
Hero: I'm so confused. Not that that's new anymore...  
Aubrey: "~~u~~"  
Hero: Um.  
Basil: They said theyre roleplaying,,,  
Hero: Are they, now?  
Hero: Hm...  
Hero: Mind if I join?  
Kel: *LE GASP*  
Aubrey: "@0@"  
Sunny: "g"  
Basil: Why.  
Kel: "BUTTETH OF COURSETH. FEELETH FREEETH"  
Hero: Haha! Alright then!  
Hero: Let's see...  
Hero: I'm Aubrey :)  
Kel: wait w  
Hero: "EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP BLOWING UP MY PHONE BY ACTING LIKE A CIRCUS TROUPE OF DUMBASSES BEFORE I REPLACE YOUR FEMURS WITH MY FUCKING FISTS"  
Hero: Did I do it right? :)  
Kel: uh  
Aubrey: I mean...  
Sunny: "g"  
Kel: what sunny said  
Basil: I think it was spot on Hero!!   
Hero: Thank you Basil :)  
Hero: Now, I'm sure you lot have better things to do than make me relive the early 2000's, don't you?  
Kel: ,,,, uhuh  
Aubrey: Yeah,,,  
Hero: (, ^ u^)7  
Hero: `*'*`\\('v ' )  
Hero is offline.  
Aubrey: Cursed cursed cursed cursed  
Kel: how much do u think he unironically used to do that exact kinda rp as a kid  
Aubrey: Do NOT put that image in my head  
Aubrey: I'm better off not knowing  
Basil: I think,,, were all better off not knowing.  
Kel: u right  
Sunny: "g"  
Aubrey: Dude we're done roleplaying now. You can stop.  
Sunny: "g"  
Aubrey: ...Whatever man.

Kel >>> Sunny  
2:34 PM  
Kel: OMG BRO I JUST REMEMBERED  
Kel: YOU DRAW N SHIT RIGHT  
Sunny: next time you see basil tell him i said this  
Sunny: displeasure  
Kel: uhhhhh ok lol  
Kel: OK BUT ANYWAYYY  
Kel: I NEEEEEDDDD YOU TO DRAW ME SMTH  
Sunny: pay me  
Kel: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh how much.?  
Sunny: hm.  
Sunny: baseline cost is the twenty dollars you still owe me.  
Kel: , uhm.  
Kel: ok ykw that’s fair  
Kel: gimme a second

Kel >>> Hero  
Kel: hewwo hewo OwO  
Hero: Cook your own damn dinner tonight.  
Kel: word ill use ur fancy knife n make like pizza roll sliders  
Hero: Do not touch my fancy knife :)  
Hero: Ok :)  
Kel: yessir  
Hero: Besides…what’s a pizza roll slider??  
Kel: like those pizza bagel bite things but made of pizza rolls  
Kel: my invention, im a genius, i know  
Hero: Why?? Would you use a knife for that???  
Kel: kickass knife tricks   
Kel: flip flip cling clang shiiiing   
Kel: u know  
Hero: Right.  
Hero: You’re not allowed to use the knives unsupervised anymore.  
Kel: fair  
Kel: can i keep using the butter knives tho pls im like physically incapable of using spoons to spread jam  
Hero: …Tentatively.  
Kel: YAAAAAYYY  
Kel: OOH AND ALSO since ur in a giving mood and allll  
Kel: can I borrow twenty dollar please please please  
Hero: Why do you need twenty dollars?  
Kel: i wanna buy some art from sunny but i still owe him $$ from when we went to hobbeezzzzz  
Hero: Since that long??? Kel, that was almost two months ago.  
Kel: feels like it was just yesterday we were watching him fistfight wasps…..  
Hero: …It really does.  
Hero: I’m still not giving you the money.  
Kel: WHAT  
Hero: I don’t trust you to pay me back.  
Kel: but heeerrroooooo  
Kel: its just twenty bucks :( cmon  
Hero: It is twenty dollars that could very efficiently be used to buy a week’s worth of groceries, or a bribe for one’s dorm-mates. If saved correctly, it could even become thirty or even forty dollars; Allowing one to reward themselves with a trip to town to distract them from the fact that the man they saw tie a plastic doll the the ceiling fan in the dorm commons has a higher grade in math than them.  
Kel: um  
Hero: I saw him drink an entire gallon of apple juice in seven minutes.  
Kel: w  
Hero: He spent an entire week teaching himself to play the accordian. The only song he can play on it is Take On Me.  
Kel: hero??? are you ok???  
Hero: HE HAS HIGHER GRADES THAN ME IN EVERY. SINGLE. CLASS. KEL.  
Hero: THERE ARE ZERO TEXTBOOKS IN HIS ROOM, KEL.  
Kel: um???? ur freaking me out a little  
Hero: OHHH YOU THINK YOU’RE FREAKING OUT??????  
Hero: REALLY????? YOU?????  
Kel: ya ok im just gonna leave before u start crying at me or smth  
Kel: get better soon i guess idk cya  
Hero: GOOD.BYE.

Kel >> Aubrey  
Kel: aubreyyyyyyyy  
Kel: guess whooooo  
Aubrey: Is it the worst player on the basketball team  
Kel: NO????  
Aubrey: Well damn must be someone that isn’t Kel then  
Kel: FUCK YOU ok i bet uve never even been to any of my games  
Aubrey: Nah but Kim has  
Kel: w  
Kel: why???  
Aubrey: Calm down, it’s not because you’re special  
Kel: rude  
Aubrey: Yeah.  
Aubrey: Anyways she goes to a lot of sports games to get embarrassing pictures of ppl  
Aubrey: In her own words, “stadiums have energies that erase any and all inhibitions within people… its almost beautiful how fucked up ppl get in there”  
Kel: ok yea shes got a point  
Kel: im p sure i saw a guy dip his nachos into his soda once  
Aubrey: EW EW EW EW SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP BEFORE I BREAK UR FUCKING JAW  
Kel: pay me. buy my silence.  
Kel: $20.  
Aubrey: TF??? NO???  
Kel: please  
Aubrey: YOU STILL OWE ME FIFTY DOLLARS FROM THAT BET WHY WOULD I GIVE YOU MORE MONEY??  
Kel: WHAT!!!  
Kel: I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT BET!!!!  
Kel: AND BASIL HAD IT RIGGED REMEMBER!!!  
Aubrey: IDC IDC YOUR SLOW ASS LOST ME FIFTY DOLLARS  
Aubrey: PAY UP BITCH  
Kel: IF I HAD UR FIFTY DOLLARS WHY WOULD I BE ASKING U FOR MONEY  
Aubrey: STILL DON’T CARE  
Aubrey: Give me my money  
Kel: I DONT HAVE IT??  
Aubrey: Give me :) my money :)  
Kel: YIKES UHHHHH

Kel >>> Basil  
Kel: BASIL   
Kel: BUDDY   
Kel: LIGHT OF MY LIFE   
Kel: BESTIE FORESTIE   
Kel: MY SOUL AND LIVELIHOOD THAT I HAVE ALWAYS TREATED NICELY AND WITH RESPECT   
Kel: AND ALSO GOT YOU THOSE KICKASS DAFFODIL SEEDS FOREVER AGO  
Basil: Umm,,, yes??  
Kel: ok before i continue sunny wanted me 2 give u a message  
Basil: Okay..??   
Kel: he said,  
Kel: “displeasure”  
Basil: Oh…  
Basil: Well um,,,  
Basil: Tell him this!!!  
Basil: :’(  
Kel: got it  
Kel: ok message delivered so now  
Kel: PLEASE  
Kel: LET ME BORROW FIFTY DOLLARS  
Kel: seventyifyouhaveanextratwentyyoucanspare  
Basil: W,  
Basil: What??  
Basil: Why??,,  
Kel: BASIL PLS PLSPLS SPLSPL MY LIFE IS IN DANGER  
Kel: I NEED FIFTY DOLLARS AND I DO NOT HAVE FIFTY DOLLARS PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU  
Basil: Um,,, I dont think I even have fifty dollars,,,  
Basil: I dont exactly have a summer job or anything,,,,  
Kel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Basil: Ummm,,,, I could ask Polly for some but,,, why do you need that much money??  
Kel: because of u you dumb blonde bitch  
Basil: ????????  
Basil: How,,????;;;  
Kel: THAT STUPID RIGGED BET U HAD WITH AUBREY  
Kel: SHES GONNA KILL ME IF I DONT PAY UPPPPP  
Basil: Sorry;;;  
Basil: I dont think Polly would give me fifty dollars just for a silly bet though,,,,  
Kel: :C  
Basil: Uhm,, have you asked Hero or Sunny??  
Kel: i gave hero an existential crisis and i still owe sunny twenty dollars  
Basil: Hmm,,, Try asking anyway!!!  
Basil: Sunny can be a little,,, difficult,,, but he still likes helping people!  
Basil: Deep down,,,  
Kel: deeeep deeeeeeeeeeep down…..  
Kel: uhnggggg i guess i gotta then  
Basil: Good luck!!!

Kel >>> Sunny  
Kel: so.  
Sunny: money transferred to my account 0/20  
Kel: listen,  
Kel: wait b4 i start groveling  
Kel: i gave basil ur message and he said “:’(“  
Sunny: good.  
Kel: ..ouch??  
Kel: wtvr  
Kel: anyway LISTEN,  
Sunny: cling clang sound of coins filling my pocket  
Kel: SUNNY  
Kel: ok look i know i owe u that twenty but could I pwetty pwease also have fifty dollars like immediately  
Sunny: why  
Kel: bc basil n aubrey had a bet abt me and basil the fucker rigged it and now aubrey is gonna kill me if i dont pay her back  
Kel: im too tall to die please  
Sunny: height…  
Sunny: anger………  
Kel: SHIT FUCK SORRY  
Kel: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE THO I NEED ITTT  
Sunny: hm.  
Sunny: ok  
Kel: R  
Kel: REALLY????  
Sunny: mhm  
Kel: THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU  
Kel: I LOVE U SM SM SM SM  
Sunny: love doesnt pay for my sims 3 expansion packs  
Sunny: seventy dollars by the end of the month   
Sunny: or else  
Kel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
Kel: BRO  
Kel: I AM JUST A KEL MAN  
Kel: WHY  
Sunny: no sympathy  
Kel: UR KILLING ME HERE SUNNYYYYY  
Sunny: leave me seventy dollars in your will  
Kel: SLDFHGSDHFIGOISDHOIGHDSIOIOGDSH DHUT UP!!!!  
Sunny: kaching kaching  
Kel: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
Kel: ok but if im gonna b paying u back the twenty as well anyway can i PLEASE ask u to draw me smth  
Kel: if i dont get a picture outta this imma riot  
Sunny: ok  
Sunny: what is it  
Kel: FUCKING SWEETTT  
Kel: ok ok. i want u to draw.  
Kel: space jam 3. starring captain spaceboy.  
Kel: ill leave whatver that means up to ur interpretation  
Sunny: hm.  
Sunny: ok.  
Kel: YAYYYYYYYY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wanna give a shout-out to all the lovely ppl who have been citing this bs as inspiration for their own fics <3 ily all sm ur great <333


	15. two steps forward, one step back. and i guess like half a step forward again, as a treat.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aubrey: Aight soooo I still don't know shit  
> Aubrey: I have been guaranteed that I WILL know shit at a LATER time  
> Aubrey: But as for now? No shit is known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the part of me that likes writing genuine fanfic: the pacings still off
> 
> me, hitting it with a stick: its a fucking chatfic calm the hell down
> 
> btw have i ever made it obvious enough that i love kel and heros relationship?

Kel >>> Sunny  
2:27 PM  
Kel: bro can i ask an insensitive question  
Sunny: would you listen if i said no  
Kel: nah  
Sunny: go ahead  
Kel: alright so uh  
Kel: do you remember That Thing We Did when we were little?  
Sunny: we did a lot of things  
Kel: ok yeah  
Kel: uhhhhh that thing wed do when mari and hero had their sleepovers at one of our houses  
Kel: so wed end up having a sleepover at the other one by ourselves  
Kel: and wed like. talk. abt them?  
Sunny: oh.  
Sunny: um  
Sunny: yes  
Kel: coolcool uh  
Kel: i kinda. wanna bring that back.  
Sunny: ...  
Sunny: why  
Kel: cuz like  
Kel: ur the only one that really gets it  
Kel: like ya ya they were like that to all of us but its not the same as living with it  
Kel: i mean u dont gotta say anything urself abt her if u dont want to but like...  
Kel: u get it. i can say stuff abt him and ull know what i mean w/o taking it the wrong way. yanno??  
Sunny: ...hm...  
Kel: ugh nvm forget it this was a bad idea  
Kel: sorry  
Sunny: no  
Sunny: im in  
Kel: r  
Kel: really????  
Sunny: you sound like you need it  
Kel: oh jeez... im mean ur not wrong lol  
Kel: fyi theres like a whole four years of backlog for u to catch up on adhgalhgdlh  
Sunny: i have snacks  
Kel: oh wow uh okay then  
Kel: were really doing this  
Kel: uh  
Kel: thanks man  
Kel: this uh. means alot  
Sunny: np  
Sunny: call me when your ready  
Kel: um..could it be a uh. video call?  
Sunny: ...sure  
Kel: thanks  
Kel: ill get some snackies for myself  
Kel: also uhh i know i said u didnt have to talk abt mari if u didnt want to  
Kel: but you CAN talk abt her if u DO want to  
Kel: no judgin from me man  
Sunny: ...ok

Hero >>> Sunny.  
3:12 PM  
Hero: Do not message me or Kel ever again.  
Hero blocked Sunny.

<< boudce >>  
Hero removed Sunny from the chat.  
Aubrey: Huh??  
Aubrey: Hero??  
Hero: …  
Hero changed the chat name to Faraway Groupchat.  
Basil: Hero,,,?  
Hero: Thin ice.  
Hero: Don’t talk to me right now.  
Basil: Ook,,,,;;  
Aubrey: What the fuck dude???  
Kel: oh youve gotta be fucking kidding me  
Hero: Do you want me to take away your phone?  
Kel: no..  
Hero: Okay then. Shut up.  
Aubrey: Hero what the fuck is wrong with you?  
Hero: If you want to talk to Sunny you can make your own damn chat. Keep me and Kel out of it.  
Kel: seriously?  
Hero: Kelsey. What did I just say.  
Kel: cant i even explain??  
Hero: I don’t want to hear it.  
Kel: oh my god you are unbelievable  
Hero: Really? I’m unbelievable? Me?  
Kel is offline.  
Aubrey: Hero don’t you fucking dare go offline without explaining what’s going on.  
Hero: Look, just.  
Hero: Not right now.  
Hero is offline.  
Aubrey: Oh for fuck’s sake.

Aubrey >>> Basil  
Aubrey: You good man??  
Aubrey: Hero was a total bitch to you  
Basil: Im,,,okay,,?  
Basil: I think..;;;;;  
Basil: Im mostly,, confused,,…  
Aubrey: UGH You’re telling me  
Aubrey: Gimme a second

Aubrey created a group chat.  
Aubrey added Basil to the chat.  
Aubrey added Sunny to the chat.  
Aubrey changed the chat name to UGH.  
Basil: Oh!! Good idea Aubrey,,!!  
Aubrey: I know, I’m full of em  
Aubrey: Hey Sunny  
Sunny: hi  
Aubrey: O shit you didn’t reply with an inappropriate “good morning”  
Aubrey: Are you ok??  
Sunny: tired  
Basil: Sunny!!!  
Basil: Um go drink something warm!!! Like uhh some honey tea or hot cocoa!!!!  
Sunny: ok  
Aubrey: What happened with Hero n Kel??  
Sunny: talked with kel  
Sunny: hero heard  
Basil: What,,,did he overhear??  
Sunny: mari  
Aubrey: Oh..  
Aubrey: Were you and Kel talking about what happened with Mari?  
Sunny: no  
Aubrey: ???  
Sunny: complicated  
Sunny: tired  
Aubrey: I get that….  
Aubrey: I’ll try asking Kel then  
Basil: Alright,,!!!  
Basil: Sunny, youre gonna take a nap, right?? I can call you and talk to you until you fall asleep if you want!!!  
Sunny: ok

Aubrey >>> Kel  
Aubrey: Are you okay??  
Kel: yeah  
Aubrey: Mkay lemme try again  
Aubrey: Are you in any way upset at all even a little insignificant teeny tiny bit??  
Kel: ,,yeah  
Aubrey: That’s what I thought  
Aubrey: What happened??  
Kel: um..,,  
Kel: its complicated,,?  
Aubrey: Ughhh that’s what Sunny said  
Kel: oh  
Kel: youve talked to him already??  
Kel: is he. ok??  
Aubrey: I think so? He said he was tired but that's about it.  
Aubrey: Basil’s got it covered.  
Kel: ok,,,good…  
Aubrey: Ok but seriously what happened??  
Aubrey: He said you guys were talking about Mari but also not???  
Kel: uh,,  
Kel: look i want to talk abt it rly i do just  
Kel: not rn  
Kel: like rn i kinda just want to chill and calm down a little or i think im gonna go grrrgrgrgrgrgrggrgrrrrrrgrgrrrgrgrbrbrbrrrbrgrgrgrbrrbrbrgrbrgr  
Kel: that doesnt rly make sense but like. yeah  
Aubrey: Ughhh,,,,,  
Aubrey: Yeah. Ok.  
Aubrey: I know the feeling.  
Aubrey: Do you want me to stay online with you or???  
Kel: i mean i doooo  
Kel: but hero will probably think im like. scheming to talk with sunny again or something..  
Aubrey: Uuugghhhhhh  
Aubrey: I thought he was done being an ass about this shit  
Kel: same here  
Kel: im gonna go play some terraria or something  
Aubrey: Aight  
Aubrey: Talk to me when you’re up to it tho, ok?

Aubrey >>> Basil  
Aubrey: Aight soooo I still don't know shit  
Aubrey: I have been guaranteed that I WILL know shit at a LATER time  
Aubrey: But as for now? No shit is known.  
Aubrey: Kel's too wound up to talk abt anything without pulling a cliche me, so  
Aubrey: Just letting u know so u don't interrupt his self-care session or wtvr after you get done putting Sunny to sleep  
Aubrey: Idk how he copes outside of video games and basketball actually so I just assume that's what he's doing  
Aubrey: Anyway I'll keep you updated after we talk  
Aubrey: Take care of urself too aight?

Kel >>> Aubrey  
9:13 PM  
Kel: aubrey  
Aubrey: Hey.  
Aubrey: You feelin better??  
Kel: kinda???  
Kel: im ready to talk now i think  
Kel: u gotta help me w smth first tho  
Aubrey: Ok..?  
Aubrey: With what?  
Kel: dw abt that rn  
Kel: just come to my house  
Kel: but like only to the backyard. dont let anyone know ur there  
Aubrey: Dude ngl that sounds shady as hell  
Kel: pleasepleaseplease i will buy you so much candy n pizza n junk just say the word i will owe u sooo hard  
Aubrey: Ugh fine, whatever  
Aubrey: If it gets you to spill  
Aubrey: Better not be stupid  
Kel: thankyouthankyouthankyou

Aubrey >>> Kel  
9:27 PM  
Aubrey: Alright I’m here. Now what  
Kel: look up  
Aubrey: Huh  
Aubrey: WTF  
Kel: SHHHH BE QUIET  
Aubrey: WHAT ARE YOU DOING  
Kel: tf does it look like im doing  
Aubrey: WAIT  
Aubrey: WAIT AM I HELPING YOU SNEAK OUT  
Kel: maybe  
Kel: actually u definitely are bc i don’t think I can crawl back into the window  
Kel: either u help me down or im stuck here  
Aubrey: Tempting.  
Kel: PLEASE NO  
Aubrey: Dw man helping you start ur rebellious phase is WAYYY more tempting  
Aubrey: We’ve already dyed ur hair w/o permission, sneaking out is totally the next step  
Kel: omg thank u i owe u my life  
Aubrey: And candy + pizza  
Kel: and candy + pizza  
Aubrey: Anddd a conversation  
Kel: ,,and a conversation  
Kel: now help pls  
Aubrey: Just jump dude.  
Kel: hhhhhhh  
Aubrey: Don’t be a pussy. I’ll catch you.  
Kel: HHHHH OKAY  
Kel: OKAY IM JUMPING  
Kel: IN THREE  
Kel: TWO  
Kel: ONE

Hero >>> Kel  
Hero: I just heard something strange from outside... It sounded like something fell??  
Hero: Can you check out your window? I think it was out back, but I’m still a little busy cleaning up after dinner.  
Hero: Kel?  
Hero: Kel???  
Hero: Don’t ignore me, Kel.  
Hero: If I have to put down what I’m doing and come up there myself I’m going to be very mad.  
Hero: That’s it, I’m coming up.  
Hero: Kel???  
Hero: Kel, where did you go????  
Hero: How did you leave the house without me seeing????  
Hero: Please don’t tell me you went out the window.

9:39 PM  
Hero: KEL????  
Hero: Please answer your phone Kel.  
Hero: Kel please, I’m getting worried.

9: 48 PM  
Hero: Please .  
Hero: Please Kel I’m sorry.  
Hero: I’m sorry I lost my temper earlier today, you were right, I should’ve stayed calm and let you two explain I’m sorry.

9: 56 PM  
Hero: Please please please answer me  
Hero: Are you okay  
Hero: Please pick up  
Hero: Please be okay please don’t be hurt please please please

Hero >>> Aubrey  
10:11 PM  
Hero: Aubrey have you seen Kel???  
Hero: Look I know youre probably mad at me for earlier and I promise I'll explain but please tell me if you have  
Aubrey: Why? Did something happen?  
Hero: I think he snuck out his window and hes not answering his phone and its late and I dont know where he is or if hes okay or  
Aubrey: Oh jeez, okay okay calm down Hero,  
Aubrey: Deep breaths  
Hero: I’m sorry I’m sorry Its my fault anyway because I lost my temper but I’m really worried he’s never done this before and hes still not answering  
Aubrey: Oh jeez you’re like UPSET upset  
Aubrey: Um  
Hero: Please please tell me if you’ve seen him or if he’s messaged you or anything  
Aubrey: Well um  
Aubrey: The thing is he askeoiahoihgbhd asdaay 832  
Hero: Aubrey?!??  
Hero: Aubrey are you okay???!?  
Hero: Aubrey please answer  
Hero: AUBREY???  
Hero: Shit

Hero >>> Basil  
Hero: Basil  
Hero: Basil Im sorry for earlier I really really am  
Basil: Its ok,,??  
Basil: Im,, sure you have good reasons,,..  
Hero: Basil  
Hero: Have you heard from Aubrey or Kel???????  
Basil: Um not really??  
Basil: I mean,, Aubrey made a gc for me and uh,, Sunny when you uh,, kicked him out,,  
Basil: But that was hours ago,, she said Kel didnt want to be bothered so I never messaged him,,  
Basil: Is everything okay???  
Hero: Kel snuck out and hes not answering his phone and I can’t find him  
Hero: I asked Aubrey and I think she was going to say something but now she’s not replying either  
Basil: OH jeez,,,  
Basil: Let me try calling them,,,  
Hero: Thank you..

10:25 PM  
Hero: Anything??  
Basil: Um well Kel didn’t pick up,,,  
Basil: And Aubrey’s said it was disconnected so,,, I think her phone might be broken??  
Hero: Oh no oh no oh no  
Basil: Im sorry,,,,  
Hero: No its  
Hero: It’s not your fault Basil  
Basil: Ii’ll help you look for them!!!!  
Hero: NO  
Hero: No  
Basil: But!!!  
Hero: No thank you Basil, I’d feel much more comfortable if I knew you were somewhere safe.  
Basil: Oh,,, that makes sense,,,  
Basil: Ill keep trying to call him though!!!!!  
Hero: Thank you Basil. Stay safe.

Hero >>> Sunny  
10:31 PM  
Hero unblocked Sunny.  
Hero: Um…Sunny?  
Sunny: h;86v  
Sunny: good morning  
Hero: Sunny it is half past ten at night  
Sunny: oops  
Hero: Never mind that  
Hero: I  
Hero: Look I’m really sorry for overreacting earlier today really really sorry  
Sunny: its ok  
Hero: It really isn’t  
Hero: But can you do me a favor? Please??  
Sunny: ok  
Hero: Can you text or call Kel or Aubrey for me and tell me if one of them picks up??  
Sunny: ok

Sunny >>> Kel  
Sunny: good morning  
Kel: sunny dude its like ten pm  
Sunny: oops

Sunny >>> Hero  
Sunny: i texted kel  
Sunny: he answered  
Hero: OH Thank god,,,,  
Sunny: are you okay  
Sunny: is he okay?  
Hero: He snuck out of the house earlier and hasn’t been answering any of my messages.. I’ve been worried sick  
Hero: I got Basil to try calling him and Aubrey but he said he thinks her phone’s broken,  
Hero: She seemed like she was about to tell me something when we were texting..  
Sunny: hm.

Kel >>> Sunny  
Kel: n e way u good dude? after uh,, earlier?  
Sunny: yeah  
Sunny: took a nap  
Kel: oooh that explains it lol  
Kel: yannoooo basil once said u had weird dreams  
Kel: didja have any tonite :o

Sunny >>> Hero  
Sunny: they can be rowdy  
Sunny: she probably just dropped it  
Hero: …You’re probably right.  
Hero: God this is my fault I’m sorry  
Hero: I shouldn’t have gotten so angry earlier I really shouldnt have  
Sunny: youre allowed to be angry  
Hero: I  
Hero: I know that but  
Hero: I shouldve stayed calm at least  
Hero: Im supposed to be better than this  
Hero: I shouldve let him explain and not overreacted  
Sunny: maybe  
Sunny: doesnt make this your fault though  
Hero: Yes it does he told me to calm down and I snapped at him instead and I ignored how upset he was and broke my promise  
Hero: Im an awful brother

Sunny >>> Kel  
Sunny: kinda  
Kel: WORD what was it abt  
Sunny: we (me you aubrey and hero) were visiting space pirates on the moon  
Kel: SICKKKK  
Sunny: capt spaceboy was just divorced (we called him space exhusband)  
Kel: the fuck  
Sunny: i told him i thought his ex was mean (we had met his ex who was sweetheart)  
Sunny: he tried to shoot me  
Kel: o shit did he  
Sunny: no  
Sunny: mari hit him with a fold-up chair  
Kel: SDFHGIOSHDFIOGHSIODHFGOIHAIOHGD

Sunny >>> Hero  
Sunny: no youre not  
Sunny: you dont have to be perfect to be a good brother  
Hero: Sunny you don’t understand I messed up big time I don’t know where he is he still wont message me  
Sunny: hes texting me about captain spaceboy  
Sunny: wherever he is, hes ok  
Hero: I hurt him, Sunny. I said I wouldn’t do it again and then I hurt him. It wasn't even him I was mad at and I still took it out on him. He’s going to hate me.  
Sunny: i hate to pull this card but  
Sunny: at least hes still alive  
Sunny: :|  
Hero: Oh  
Hero: Oh Sunny, don’t  
Sunny: no  
Sunny: you hurt him, yes.  
Sunny: you made a mistake, yes.  
Sunny: hes still alive and breathing though.  
Sunny: he’ll come home at one point.  
Sunny: and when he does, you can apologize and talk and make up, however long itll take.  
Sunny: i cant even try.  
Sunny: dont act like youve lost all chances with him.  
Hero: Sunny…

Kel >>> Sunny  
Kel: somehow the mental image of mari just like. straight up bodyslamming someone. Is SO vivid.  
Sunny: she did main snake in smash  
Kel: OH MY GOD SHE DID DIDN’T SHE  
Kel: where did she put all that suppressed violent instinct  
Sunny: music  
Sunny: and hero probably  
Kel: EW EW EW NO NO NO  
Kel: I DO NOT WANT TO THINK OF MY BROTHER AND UR SISTER DOING  
Kel: things  
Sunny: things  
Kel: pls dont make me say it im gonna throw up  
Kel: im not gonna be able to sleep tonight  
Sunny: lol  
Sunny: why are you awake this late anyway  
Sunny: ?  
Kel: im still mad at hero so. rebel phase time B)  
Kel: aubrey helped me sneak out but then i accidently broke her phone so now shes making me clean her house or shell beat me up  
Kel: o shit that reminds me i think basil tried to call me. idk she was chasing me rly fast. ill have to check later  
Sunny: “accidently”  
Kel: FUCK YOU OKAY I WAS JUST TRYING TO TAKE IT FROM HER HAND BUT THEN IT SLIPPED AND FELL OKAY IT WAS AN ACCIDENT  
Sunny: lol  
Sunny: good luck  
Sunny: and good night  
Kel: yeah yeah you too :(

Sunny >>> Hero  
Sunny: kels at aubreys house btw  
Hero: Sunny, I  
Hero: What?  
Sunny: he just told me  
Hero: He did?!  
Sunny: mhm  
Sunny: said she helped him sneak out  
Sunny: but then he broke her phone  
Sunny: so shes making him clean her house  
Hero: OH thank god,  
Hero: If I wasn’t so relieved then they’d be in SO much trouble  
Sunny: kel said hes still mad at you  
Hero: I was expecting that.  
Hero: Thank you thankyou thankyou so much Sunny  
Hero: I’ll let Basil know they’re okay.  
Sunny: np  
Hero: I really really mean it Sunny.  
Hero: And again, I’m sorry about earlier.  
Sunny: its ok  
Hero: No, really. Mari was your sister, not mine. You would know better than anyone what it was like to grow up living with her, and of course you’ve seen sides of her that no one else has. You loved her just as much as she did, and you were hurt so much by what happened, you have no reason to lie or want to defame her in the way I accused you. I know there was no malice in what you two were saying about her and myself.  
Hero: ... I know that having siblings like Mari or myself can be difficult. I know that...despite how he tries to act, Kel isn't always as happy and upbeat as he seems. He deserves someone that trusts enough to let those walls down around, and I should be very happy that he found that person in you, and you in him.  
Hero: I'm sorry, Sunny.  
Sunny: its ok  
Sunny: i forgive you  
Hero: ......  
Hero: Well, I’m going to pick up Kel... If you're up to it tomorrow...I'd really like to call you and make an actual apology, okay? And maybe we should actually talk about what happened...we've been putting it off long enough.  
Sunny: ok  
Sunny: good luck  
Hero: Thank you. Good night.  
Sunny: good night

Kel >>> Sunny  
11:27 PM  
Kel: sunny. dude.  
Kel: did you rat me out to hero.  
Sunny: yes  
Kel: why the fuck would you do that.  
Sunny: you didnt tell me not to tell him where you were  
Kel: oh my god. its was fucking implied.  
Kel: i know thats not the actual reason though.  
Sunny: he thought you and/or aubrey were hurt somewhere and that it was his fault  
Sunny: he was about to argue with me about whether he was a worse brother than me or not  
Kel: ......  
Kel: ok.  
Kel: ok yeah. i can see why youd tell him then.  
Kel: that doesnt mean im not fucking pissed though.  
Sunny: i know  
Kel: both of you.  
Kel: you for (understandably i admit) telling him and him for like everything at this point.  
Kel: like ok i feel a little bad about worrying him so much but that doesnt mean i forgive him even a little.  
Sunny: i know  
Sunny: its ok.  
Kel: ugh whatever. i already vented a bunch to aubrey and i dont really feel like doing it again. especially since im mad at you now  
Kel: im going to bed.  
Sunny: goodnight  
Kel: yeah yeah. good night.

<< Faraway Groupchat >>  
7:15 AM  
Hero added Sunny to Faraway Groupchat.  
Hero changed the chat name to boudce.  
Hero is offline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have has this in my drafts since like...chapter 5. hehe :)
> 
> im not sure how obvious i made it what sunny and kel were talking abt in regards to mari n hero?? itll like prolly get explained next chap if only for basils sake (poor boy is the only one out of the loop 😔)

**Author's Note:**

> kel aubrey and hero: *having heartfelt conversations*
> 
> sunny and basil: *sending memes*


End file.
